no contact help

[bubbles27]

It's my birthday next week and I think my ex will text me. I am trying to do no contact because they broke up with me and I need to try and move on even though we both still love each other.

 

Should I reply to my exes message if they do text me? The thing is we have classes together 4 days a week at uni, so by no contact I mean not texting them or calling because I will see my ex in class.

 

I have deleted my ex from Facebook so they can't see what I am up to. I don't know what to do to work on myself so I can continue being strong and moving on even though I feel like there is hope for us in the future.

[MasterPo]

Who are they? and no, you should not make any contact with your EX. However, chances are you will just remember it may not be what you envisioned and the pain will get worse. Sometimes you just have to bundle what healing you have and protect the hell out of it.

 

Happy birthday and it will be okay. Might be a good idea to change your class schedule or come in late and sit in some obscure spot. It's just a matter of time before one of you makes contact under flimsy pretenses (did you take notes, did you get.. , etc.) Not good if you want to get on with your life.

[bw92116]

No contact means nothing... never seeing them or talking to them or any communication. It sounds like you can't really do that. I would say, if they do send you a birthday text, don't reply to it. If you happen to be talking with them at class, you can quickly thank them for the text and then stop right there. But don't go out of your way to talk to them and don't use it as a conversation starter. Only in passing if you happen to be talking to them anyway. But you want to MINIMIZE contact and communication. Ideally you will want to turn off text messaging completely so that you don't have to deal with these questions.

[bubbles27]

Thanks for the reply guys, I can't really change my class times though. We have been broken up for about 4 weeks now. When we are in class together I don't ask my ex questions about how they went on the weekend going out drinking with friends etc, my ex asks me sometimes but I just keep it brief and don't really go into depth about what I've been up to. I only deleted them off facebook about 5 days ago... I told them it was for the best so they don't see what I am up to and feel weird if they see anything they don't like. Prior to the deletion I had my ex hidden and hadn't stalked their profile since the first week we broke up because I just do not want to put myself through the pain of seeing them be happy with friends

[CupidMissedMe]

Why do you refer to "they"? Is it a person you dated that had multiple personality? Or were you dating multiple people at the same time and broke up with "them" at the same time? Just curious.

[bubbles27]

Same sex relationship..... kind of felt weird to write "she" or "her" .. but I guess this is a non-judgemental forum so I don't need to be embarrassed.

[CupidMissedMe]

Bubbles, of course we wouldn't judge you. Do you think that the fact you are embarrassed was a source for problems in your relationship. I was embarrassed my ex was a lot younger than me so it brought tension in some aspect of our relationship.

[bubbles27]

In a few ways yes, acceptance from family and society put pressure on me and my ex sometimes.

 

I wrote a post describing my situation with my ex here:

 

http://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=430567&p=5450497#post5450497