I dumped her... should I text her for her birthday.

[XmSaint]

We broke up after 10 mo together. It has been 3 months since the break-up, and her birthday is coming up. It was hard for me to move on even though I was the one who ended things. I've done my best to give her space and not talk to her even though I do want to. Aside from a few polite texts she sent and a drunk call (that I didn't answer), she hasnt tried to contact me much. For my own sake I blocked her on facebook quickly after the break-up.

 

So. Her birthday. It is tomorrow. Maybe its not a big deal, and maybe I'm over estimating how much she cares, but I don't want to do this if it will hinder her (or me) from continuing to heal or move on. I do not want to get back together with her. She was once very important to me, and I think of her often. I would like to at least wish her a happy birthday... but I worry that although it may provide a momentary warmth for both of us, ultimately it will do harm rather than good.

 

Thoughts?

 

Would those of you who have been dumped want to hear from your ex, even if they had no intention of getting back together with you?

[bubbles27]

I would want to hear from my ex, but not for the right reasons.... If she still loves you or whatever, getting a text from you might spark some feelings up again and make her get the wrong idea maybe? But then she might think you are being nice too.

[bw92116]

Put yourself in her position. What if she had dumped you? Would you want to receive a "happy birthday" text?

[soloman9]

Don't text her. If you were my ex and I'd cried a lot over him (even though he wouldn't know) then him texting me would set me back further from moving on.

[osa92]

I'd not call her. Not so soon at least. She needs to learn to live without you in her life and you need to let her do that. And even if deep down she wanted to hear from you, that would only set her back, so in my opinion don't do it

[problematic1]

dont text her... if it were me getting a happy birthday text from my ex i would automatically think it was his way of trying to talk to me again. if you arent interested in getting back together with her save her the heartache and dont text her

[strawberrybonb]

I'm with bubbles. I think I'd also want to hear from my ex, for all the wrong reasons. Ultimately, I think I might have a glimmer of hope if I heard from my ex on my birthday... I'd be thinking that since he cares about me, maybe something more might.....?

 

Since it sounds like you guys aren't in contact these days anyway, I'd probably lean more toward not texting her. She'll might be sad and a bit pissed off, but I believe it would set her back if she got that text from you.

[Loveandlost]

I disagree, how many times have there been posts about "why didnt my ex say happy bday" if u want to be friendly in the future its up to you to make contact, happy bday might be the opening for that

[HeartGoesOn]

Would those of you who have been dumped want to hear from your ex, even if they had no intention of getting back together with you?

 

No.

 

I don't believe in hanging on to something that's no longer there. What's the point?

[Abigaelle]

Don't text/ call her. There is no point.

[browneyedgirl36]

If you're not interested in getting back together with her, then no, don't contact her on her birthday.

[LillyLooWho]

If you're not interested in getting back together with her, then no, don't contact her on her birthday.

 

I agree. Don't do it.

[sofiabeauty]

I completely disagree. It has been three months, for some it's not long, but for others it might be enough to get over someone. I would actually be very happy if one of my exes sent me a text message saying happy birthday. It all depends on how she feels, but you will never know. That's how women are, a mystery lol. Good luck! I would lean towards a very simple happy birthday, nothing more, that way a little smile or a wink won't spark any irrelevant thoughts of her.

[problematic1]

I completely disagree. It has been three months, for some it's not long, but for others it might be enough to get over someone. I would actually be very happy if one of my exes sent me a text message saying happy birthday. It all depends on how she feels, but you will never know. That's how women are, a mystery lol. Good luck! I would lean towards a very simple happy birthday, nothing more, that way a little smile or a wink won't spark any irrelevant thoughts of her.

 

he already said that she has been drunk dialing and texting him since the breakup.. so she is clearly not over it. to spare her feelings, he shouldnt text her and give her false hopes.

[GrowingUp85]

I disagree, how many times have there been posts about "why didnt my ex say happy bday" if u want to be friendly in the future its up to you to make contact, happy bday might be the opening for that

 

This is interesting. He shouldn't give her false hope. But if he wants to be friendly, at one point he should say something. 3 months may just be too soon.

[CupidMissedMe]

I would get the wrong idea if my ex text me on my bday. Dont do it

[markie6]

If you were dumped, and your ex didn't want to be with you ..would any reminders help you get on with your life ? leave her be ...for her sake it's far too soon

[Shane Falco]

If she's not over you (which it sounds like she isn't) and you don't want to get back with her, then don't. It would be cruel to give her false hope, which is what that text would do.