Head Games? (Long story)

[joepat58]

So this girl I was talking to showed up at the bar that I'm a regular at last night. We had seen each other out before but last night was different as to we had actually gone out on a date before and when both our feelings started to become mutual she had just started her job in another city 30 mins away. So after not talking to her for about 3 weeks she had texted me that she was in town with her friends and wanted to grab a drink. So we had a few drinks chit chatted a lot and then said good by. The next day she was out on a wine tour with her friends and later that night she called me to hang out once again. Now at this time we were all over each other at the bar you know flirting and touching and got into a pretty serious conversation about relationships and what not.

So as I'm thinking maybe there's something goin on between the two of us we barely contacted each other and when I would initiate contact her replys would be short. So she told me she would be out Saturday to come see me but then as I'm out last night she had already been out most the night with out contacting me.

Now I'm not trying to say that she has to call or text me everytime that she is in town but if she was as interested as I had originally thought after last weekends touchy flirtiness wouldn't she had at least told me she was going to be out? I'm tending bar tonight and she had said that she and her friends will stop by and hang out and also me and her are going with friends on a wine tour next weekend. I'm wondering if I should just cut ties with her after this fun wine tour or just wait until she may contact me to get together again. I'm not much of a chaser I hate to think I may be smothering her but if she could just stop being so flirty with me while she drinks then I would take the hint and let her be.

But then there's the other part where I am just trying to keep my cool and not think too much into it bc I really like this girl. And I know it may take time because it was just the one date and i know she is busy with her job. But I would just kind of like to know in other people's opinion whether this may be just a lost cause or should i just keep it cool and see where things lie.

[RedDress]

So... I just read some of your previous threads about this girl. I'm having a really hard time deciphering the timeline of things that may or may not have happened. Is this wine tour the same as the "party bus" she invited you to? Or is that another event?

 

Here's what I have so far:

- At the end of Aug. you went on a date where you spent basically the whole weekend together

- Last night you saw her

- Tonight she said she'd drop by

- Next weekend you have plans for a wine tour

 

Have you seen her at all in between? I understand she is spotty about texting you. Do you two talk on the phone? I think we need a clearer picture of what has been happening in order to give you quality advice.

[happpybear]

maybe you should just ask her out on a date, one on one without the friends involved.

[joepat58]

Oh yes she is the same girl about the party bus wine tour. And no I haven't seen her in between the few times that I have seen her only due to the fact she is a school teacher and she had just started working at this school so she had been busy with classes and also she lives about 30 mins away so really haven't had the chance to try and get together since the end of August.

No we haven't really spoke to each other on the phone only bc I get the feeling sometimes that she may be too busy to just "talk" so I try and just text that way she can get back to me when she has the time to.

I could understand the not being able to go out or talk bc of work being that its her first teaching job. But she had told me last weekend that she didn't lose interest with me, but part of me thinks maybe she was feeding me a line idk. It's just a thought that maybe she would have hit me up to let me know she was going to be in town. But then again when I walked passed her in the bar I didn't realize she was there and then she came up to me to say hi.

Idk part of me thinks that I am just over thinking the whole situation and just chill out a little bit. But the other part of me gets frustrated when I am reading all tr right signs from her but she doesn't show as much interest at times. It's like a switch sometimes she on and then sometimes she's off. I may just be over thinking but its better for me to vent on a blog l

[RedDress]

Well... I think the part about her living 30 minutes away is a bit of a line. I mean... I live in a big city. I commute 45 mins (one way) to work. That's pretty normal and are you in NYC? I would assume that's pretty normal there too. If she doesn't have the time or can't commute to see you now - how would that work in a relationship? 30 mins is not long-distance. You can even meet half-way and that makes it a 15 minute commute.

 

She may not have "lost interest" - but her interest is not very strong. Maybe it was never very strong...

 

I think you should forget about this girl. Not seeing each other in basically a month? Not very interested.

[joepat58]

Ya that was my thoughts exactly especially the 30 min drive. Plus the no contact from her. Bc at first it was mostly her texting me or contacting me to hang out. And I understand the whole "new job/ very busy" but idk I haven't really tried very hard to go out with her either. Maybe it's the fear of rejection or possibly hearing another excuse not too. But my thoughts were to just go on this wine tour with her and see if there isn't anything really there between the two of us. Then possibly ask her out one last time if not then I guess it's just time to move on. I'm a patient person but I don't have time for games. Thoughts?