Should I continue being his friend? Is he just using me?

[ballerina22]

I have a guy friend I've been hanging out with for a few months now but I'm thinking about ending our friendship. The first reason is that we only ever hang out when he wants to. When I invite him to hang out he has never said yes. Also, when we text or talk he shows little to no interest in what I'm saying. Also, our plans are always the same. We either go out to lunch, rather I drive him to lunch when his car breaks down or we go out for drinks, I'm the sober driver, he comes to my house and sleeps it off a bit.. sometimes we mess around.. then goes home. Most of the time I feel like he uses me. The tonight he really made me angry. I said there was this really great movie I wanted him to watch and that I would take it over so we could watch it. He then responded by saying if I ever came over uninvited it would be a deal breaker friend wise. That really hurt.. I thought that's what friends do.. Seriously, I used to have feelings for him but now he just seems like a moocher to me. Do you think that was kinda rude of him to say to a friend? Should I continue being his friend???

 

I feel like the only person benefiting from this relationship is him. He gets a sober driver, a ride, and someone to mess around with.. and I get nothing. Huh, I think I just realized how foolish I've been.

[Capricorn3]

I feel like the only person benefiting from this relationship is him. He gets a sober driver, a ride, and someone to mess around with.. and I get nothing. Huh, I think I just realized how foolish I've been.

I think you just answered your own question.

[RedDress]

I think that if you are making out with him, he's more than a friend. Maybe he's less than a bf... but he's more than a friend.

 

For what it's worth, I think he's a crappy more-than-a-friend (FWB even if it's not sex?) and he's not putting much effort in. He's clearly not interested in more...

 

For this, though?

He then responded by saying if I ever came over uninvited it would be a deal breaker friend wise.

 

No... I don't think that's a horrible thing to say. I mean, maybe he could have had a better delivery - but personally, I hate "drop-ins" too. Maybe I'm not dressed. Maybe my place is a mess. Maybe I'm busy doing something (usually). Maybe I have people over. To just "drop in" without calling to see what I'm doing or if I want to get together - to me, is presumptuous. All my friends know to call first. I mean... in this day of cell phones with a phone on your hip, how hard is it to call first? And especially if he's dating other people - he'll not want that.

 

I think he sees you as his FWB and he's trying (awkwardly) to keep those lines clear. And yes... I think that's the equivalent of using you.