Close Friend Hit and Killed by a Drunk Driver.

[Snny]

How do you deal with it?

 

The friend lives back at home and was a single mother. She had just started her salon business and was doing well. Her daughter just start 1st grade this school year. The father is not in the picture and no one knows who she will be living with. I almost want to go up and adopt her if no one else is going to take her in. Being in my late 20's and taking in a child all of a sudden is kind of a scary thought, but what was done to her is not fair at all.

 

I found out last night and it happened last Saturday. The drunk driver lived and SHE had to be the one who died. I couldn't make the travel arrangements to attend the funeral today. I had to pull my weight at work without looking like an angry B or break down and cry in front of students. I haven't told anyone this yet because I am fairly new and am still trying to figure out who I can really trust. Words cannot fully express how insanely pissed off I am at someone being so stupid to choose to drive and took away a good friend and a little girl's mother. I really hope it haunts the dude for the rest of his life since he deserves it. I wish I had someone to talk to about this... but living in a new area without really knowing anyone makes it 10x harder to deal.

 

Thanks for listening ENA.

[MasterPo]

I am sorry for your loss, I wish you good thoughts and a healthy recovery.

 

Mpo

[annie24]

wow, i am so sorry. you have my sympathies. i feel terribly for her child as well, i hope there is someone else in the family to raise her. drunk drivers are so selfish. take a cab! or don't drink so much. it's awful your friend died instead of the driver. ugh.

[ghostgirl116]

i'm sorry about your friend.

[HeartGoesOn]

I'm sorry for the loss of your friend, Snny.

 

What a terrible tragedy!

[iamkaylee]

I am very sorry for your loss.

[Snny]

interesting... how did this thread get 5 star rating?

 

Thanks for the support. I'm doing better. Distant relatives ended up taking the little girl. She is going through so much right now. No one has been able to locate her father (they tried)

[tiredofvampires]

Heartbreaking. Just heartbreaking, Snny.

 

I feel so strongly about this issue, which hits home for me. I have a friend (was my boyfriend a couple of decades ago) who has been an on-again-off-again binger with alcohol ever since I've known him. We revived our closeness, though platonically, in the last 5 years. Then about a year ago, he went out driving at night while completely drunk and careened headlong into a parked construction vehicle. I had only been talking to him 2 hours before on the phone, and weirdly enough, got a very bad feeling before I even heard about it. He survived, but with massive injuries (he was the only one hurt, thank god). Incredibly, most of them will probably heal enough that he'll still be able to function, and though he sustained a serious concussion, he's not brain damaged. It was very hard for me to talk to him though after this, because when a friend is sick and in the hospital, you want to shower them with feel-good messages and nurturing. And all I could feel was rage. Rage that he put his own life -- but even moreso, every other motorist's life that night -- in danger. Honestly, if I'd heard that there were any traffic fatalities as a result of his recklessness, I'd have chosen it to be him, even though he is (or was) my friend (not that anyone should have to die.) He made it very clear that he didn't want to hear any more about what was avoided, as he was perfectly cognizant of the gravity of what he'd done. He just wanted "healing vibes." I think it's the first and only time I could not call that up, and wondered if I was being a bad friend. Our conversations petered out after that.

 

As for the little girl, I feel so bad for her. This is going to be a difficult road for her, and I hope the support she is getting with her relatives is strong. She really should be seeing a child psychologist too, since this is something a professional should attend to, while it's still fresh in her life. Trauma needs to be dealt with in a timely way.

 

Maybe you can keep touch with the child, so that she has some continuity with people that knew her mom.

 

But do whatever you feel you can, and don't over-commit. I'm really sad to hear you're going through this. I'm glad you're doing better. Just hang in there.

[Snny]

tiredofvampires,

 

I can't blame you at all. I would be angry too. Why are there some people out there so F-ing stupid choose to drink and drive? If you can't handle your alcohol and don't have a DD, stay home! Instead, you make the clear selfish choice of taking away a mother, a father, a sister or brother and a really good friend. This idiot took away a little girl's mother when she doesn't have a father and the driver should of been the one who died.

 

Also, drinking and driving is a big problem when I was living in Appalachia country. Sadly this isn't the first time I heard about it hitting in my parents' community. When will people start taking responsibility when driving?

 

Again... thank you ENA.

[Seraphim]

I am so sorry for you the loss of your friend Snny. My mother lost her best friend to murder. Maybe write a letter to your close friend and keep it. Write a letter to the person who killed her. Pour it all out and then burn it. Send a letter to her daughter telling her how marvelous you feel her mother was. *HUGS*