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Is he playing games with me? What is going through his head?


jdyer3

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Posted

I am 21 and he is 29. He is my brother's best friend. My brother knows we hooked up and has since then gotten over it. I am moving accross country in less than two weeks, and this guy is waiting till the last minute (if at all) to have sex with me. I want him so bad. I know he wants me too. The other night, he pretty much laid all his feelings out on the table, saying he doesn't want to "disrespect me" because it would only be a one-time kind of thing since I am moving. I told him I am fine with it being that way, and I won't think he is disrespecting me.

 

It's been a long process of trying to sleep with this guy, and I thought I had finally sealed the deal a couple days ago, when he text me that he wanted to hang out the next night. I said, "Ok, hit me up " and he never did. Then, I text him "Hey!" the next day late afternoon and he didn't reply. I'm pretty mad because he has been so reliable and open with me up until this point. Is he going to flake out?

Posted

How about you respect him and his values, which include that he doesn't want to have some meaningless sex with his friends little sister who is basically a child while he is an adult. I don't think he's playing games, I just think he has a conscience.

Posted

Were you tegether at any point or always just hook-ups? Maybe he really likes you and it would just hurt him to have sex one final time. Better to have sex on a happy note than on a sad one.

Posted
How about you respect him and his values, which include that he doesn't want to have some meaningless sex with his friends little sister who is basically a child while he is an adult. I don't think he's playing games, I just think he has a conscience.

 

@pl3asehelp

That sucks because I want him really bad. I mean, having a conscience doesn't suck, but I want him to disrespect me, dammit! Plus, why does he have to lead me on with his BS if this is the case? I would rather him tell me bluntly and straight forward that he doesn't think we should hook up, but he always just beats around the bush...I just wish he would tell me if he feels this way. The way he acts around me says differently.

Posted
Were you tegether at any point or always just hook-ups? Maybe he really likes you and it would just hurt him to have sex one final time. Better to have sex on a happy note than on a sad one.

 

No, we weren't together. We've known eachother for about six/seven years now.

Posted

Well, I'm sure you're very tempting to him which is why he asked you out then canceled. Hooking up with you is just going against his morals, so I would leave him alone. If he decides he wants it, he will come to you. Who knows, maybe by you asking him is actually turning him off. He might be the type of guy who likes to work for a girl.

Posted
Well, I'm sure you're very tempting to him which is why he asked you out then canceled. Hooking up with you is just going against his morals, so I would leave him alone. If he decides he wants it, he will come to you. Who knows, maybe by you asking him is actually turning him off. He might be the type of guy who likes to work for a girl.

 

Yeah well I think he's going to regret not taking a chance with me...but oh well...you snooze you lose, right? I am moving so there's really no point in me getting attached.

Posted
@pl3asehelp

That sucks because I want him really bad. I mean, having a conscience doesn't suck, but I want him to disrespect me, dammit! Plus, why does he have to lead me on with his BS if this is the case? I would rather him tell me bluntly and straight forward that he doesn't think we should hook up, but he always just beats around the bush...I just wish he would tell me if he feels this way. The way he acts around me says differently.

 

When he told you he didn't want to sleep with you because you are moving and he feels a one time thing is disrespectful he was being blunt and straightforward. Was there something else you left out of the story? Him texting you that he wanted to hang out doesn't mean he changed his mind and wants sleep with you. Why do you think he would regret not sleeping with you? Everything he's said and done shows you guys have wildly different views of sex and morals and if I were you I wouldn't expect that he would react in the same way you would in his shoes.

Posted
When he told you he didn't want to sleep with you because you are moving and he feels a one time thing is disrespectful he was being blunt and straightforward. Was there something else you left out of the story? Him texting you that he wanted to hang out doesn't mean he changed his mind and wants sleep with you.

 

He didn't say "I don't want to sleep with you because you are moving." He said (to be exact), "Before we do anything, I just want you to hear me out on this. I don't want you to think I am disrespecting you. I care about you and the last thing I want to do is disrespect you." So, if anything, he implied that we were going to do something. Also, he came over a couple nights later and hung out for awhile, later telling me that he wished my little brother wasn't there so we could have some fun, then saying that "tomorrow" night would work better (the night he said we'd hang out but he never contacted me).

Posted

He probably doesnt want to dis respect his best friend. No offence but perhaps he sees you has his best mates little sister, I think he's being a decent guy about all this. It's a turn off for guys if a girl acts too keen. I'd just leave this one and move on.

Posted
He probably doesnt want to dis respect his best friend. No offence but perhaps he sees you has his best mates little sister, I think he's being a decent guy about all this. It's a turn off for guys if a girl acts too keen. I'd just leave this one and move on.

 

Thanks for your advice I think it's probably best that way too. It will be easier once I am out of state and won't see him anymore.

Posted

maybe your brother has since gotten over it, but maybe since this guy is your brother's best friend, maybe he doesn't want to piss him off? He may value the friendship with your brother, more than just sleeping with you. Or, maybe he really does like you and doesn't want to just have a one time thing with you. Some guys aren't into that believe it or not lol

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