is she playing with my head

[howdoifeel]

Il give you a little context. Some advise would be great because again im just beginning to feel ok, and then boom, im thrown sideways.

 

So we haven’t had any contact for 2 months maybe almost 3 im not sure, stopped counting now.

 

So, then i managed to get a refund for our dream holiday flights to the usa. The flight was cancelled and they were mucking me about with changing flights, so i asked for the possibility of a full refund, and they said yes! So i texted her to say this, and what she wanted to do, to no reply.

 

I needed to know the answer asap as if the tickets were reissued then there would be no refund possibility, so i was a gent and gave her 3 days. I also sent her a quick email, just to say, i need to know asap. Very platonic. Nothing more. No other stuff. Just to the point but politely.

 

Still no reply.

 

So i gave her 3 days. I was really angry as she had a responsibility to let me know as I had 600 pounds tied up in it as well.

 

I got paranoid, thinking why is she ignoring me, all the usual, is she seeing someone, maybe someone said something to her, was she angry at me for something? Anyway, I called up expedia and excepted there full refund, great!

 

I can get on with stuff without this doomed holiday overhanging. That was Friday.

 

Then last night (tuesday) I received a text message at 22:49, ‘where are you i miss you x’

 

Out of no where. I was actually in a great mood, chatting to my flat mate. I replied, ‘Im at home, where are you? x’

 

Still no reply from her.

 

Now why on earth did i get this message, and why is she asking where I am? Also do remember that my name begins with 'A', and Im at the beginning of lots of peoples phonobooks on their mobiles and do receive the odd accidental call from time to time.

 

Just doesn’t add up does it. That's not her style to send such a message, shes a secretive character.

 

Ive come to the conclusion that it wasn’t for me, and she is seeing someone.

 

I mean, its a little weird asking,

 

• where i am?

 

• Not getting back to me about the flights

 

• And the fact that im first in lots of peoples phonebooks, and it was a mistake. And it just happened to be such a message like that

 

I just want to know if the message was intended for me, but she is just ignoring me.

[seoulmate]

I'm confused...if you haven't talked for 2 or 3 or more months, then what did you call her about with the flights? (I know you said you could get a full refund, but why did you need information from her?)

 

...

[howdoifeel]

to see if she wanted the refund or still to go on the flight. Last thing she said when we broke up was, i still want to go to the u.s this september

[seoulmate]

Well.... that was immediately after the breakup. You haven't been in contact for months. And suddenly you send her a message asking if she still wants to go on this trip?

 

First of all, a lot of things happen at the end of a breakup. Things are said. Promises made, etc.. "Oh, I want to be single..", for example...and then you find out they're dating someone within a week.

 

In her case, if she TRULY wanted to go on this trip she would have reached out to your prior to the trip. She knew that you had the tickets.

 

But, above you say "you were really angry". Come on,...really you were angry? You could have cancelled the trip months ago. Didn't need to tell her. She didn't need to tell you if she wanted to go or not. You asked, she didn't reply...but don't use her non reply as a reason to get angry at her. Just cancel the trip and get your money back and move on with your life.

 

Look at it from her point of view also....you don't text someone after a few months of contact and your first question is "do you want to still travel around the world with me? If not, I need to know quick so I can get a refund". You should have texted her a month or two prior and asked her out for a coffee and brought the trip up then.

 

I wouldn't reply to you either. These aren't head games. This is just someone seeing your contact as an "ultimatum". You don't give any person ultimatums, let alone an ex.

 

Her text to you later on...and then you replying and her not replying. She could have been drunk, too. Who knows. Lonely, bored, whatever.

[howdoifeel]

sure.

 

only thing is, i only found out i could get a full refund last week, so i had to ask her to let me know really quickly. its not like i could of got the refund 2 months ago.

 

yeah your right, it wasnt that smooth

 

not sure what to do now, like i really miss her, but i just feel like she has moved on. and maybe the message was for someone else.

[mhowe]

Cripes. Cash in the tickets. You broke up months ago. You are not a couple -- -cannot even picture the thought of you two going to US together.

 

She hasn't bothered to respond. That is your answer, in a nutshell.

[seoulmate]

sure.

 

only thing is, i only found out i could get a full refund last week, so i had to ask her to let me know really quickly. its not like i could of got the refund 2 months ago.

 

yeah your right, it wasnt that smooth

 

not sure what to do now, like i really miss her, but i just feel like she has moved on. and maybe the message was for someone else.

 

If you only found out you could a refund last week it's probably because you held onto hope for a few months, right? Otherwise, be angry at yourself for not looking into the refund earlier and dealing with all of this earlier. Don't project your pain or anger back onto her.

 

And, if you really miss her then you should have reached out earlier to her. It's a big trip and you're not even a couple. It's really immature of you to think that someone who's not your g/f and you have not contacted in several months is going to suddenly agree to going on a trip with you.

 

Stop analyzing who the message was for.

[Sportster2005]

I don't think she is playing with your head. You've asked her about the money she refused to reply. Take the money and enjoy it. And don't contact her further or you'll be back wondering and analyzing silence. Silence is a very clear unambiguous message.

[rbsx]

If she can't be bothered to respond, you shouldn't be bothered to return her money.

 

Put no more and no less effort into someone else as they put into you.