BloodOrchid Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 wherever i look, i see people and their best friends. my friends always tell me about how their best friends are always there for them, and how much fun they have, and how happy their lives are. i dont have a person i can always hang out with and confide in no matter what. im so lonely and isolated, and im starting to hate myself and think there's something wrong with me. i get called good looking, smart, funny, kind, a good listener, aren't those the things that would make me a really good friend? i feel so depressed at the moment. i dont know what to do.
Timebandit Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 I might be able to relate to your pain, at least at some level. I spent many years, feeling excluded from close intimate relationships. I can only describe that as the darkest, coldest, bleakest years of my life. Not something I would want on anyone. Luckily, things are completely different for me know. I do not know enough about your situation to give you any precise insights as to your situation. But what I have learned along the way is, that while being intelligent, funny, kind, a good listener are all good things (they are certainly assets in a relationship of any kind), there is at least one ingredient more needed for establishing close relationships. To me, that ingredient is "vulnerability". It is that human touch where you are able to express emotional content when interacting with people, f.ex. talking about your hopes, dreams, fears, failures as well as listening to theirs (of course in a controlled, reciprocal manner). People don't get close to people are not willing nor capable to disclosing personal information about themselves. Unfortunately, people who are feeling depressed, lonely and shameful often tends to hide themselves for fear that they are not good enough, and that they will get rejected. This just increases the level of isolation. As I wrote, I do not have much background info on your situation. But I suggest your first step is finding someone to talk to, whether being a professional, a family member, or even just someone on an internet forum/chat. Oh btw. - I don't think there is anything wrong with you.
dasilver Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 wherever i look, i see people and their best friends. my friends always tell me about how their best friends are always there for them, and how much fun they have, and how happy their lives are. i dont have a person i can always hang out with and confide in no matter what. im so lonely and isolated, and im starting to hate myself and think there's something wrong with me. i get called good looking, smart, funny, kind, a good listener, aren't those the things that would make me a really good friend? i feel so depressed at the moment. i dont know what to do. Don't feel bad...I don't have a best friend either... I'm my own best friend... It doesn't make me weird..or depressed at all... I have "friends" but no best friend.... It really isn't a bad thing not to have one....
r0ckox Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 wherever i look, i see people and their best friends. my friends always tell me about how their best friends are always there for them, and how much fun they have, and how happy their lives are. i dont have a person i can always hang out with and confide in no matter what. im so lonely and isolated, and im starting to hate myself and think there's something wrong with me. i get called good looking, smart, funny, kind, a good listener, aren't those the things that would make me a really good friend? i feel so depressed at the moment. i dont know what to do. I attribute some of my social "issues" to not growing up with a "best friend". I had a couple as a kid (10, 11, 12) but after that, we stopped hanging out and since then there's really nobody out there I've ever been able to call a "best" friend. Some people still claim that I'm their best friend, but the feeling isn't mutual, and they certainly don't act like I'm their best friend.
vix8 Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 I felt the same, and I get described in the same way as you. My best friend right now is actually from my childhood. We grew apart in high school and came back together in post secondary school. You know, friends always change, and just because you don't have a best friend now, doesn't mean you won't have one in the future. I've been down the road of feeling lonely, and I've come to realize that there is nothing wrong with me, it's just that people are so busy these days that they don't have time to hang out. My best friend is working full time, and my other best friend had a lot on her plate right now with her dad passing and such so I don't see much of her either. Do I feel lonely? Yes sometimes, because they can't always be there to hang out, but they are always there for me no matter what through the tough times. Just don't worry about having a best friend, and just be happy with the good friends you have, and maybe one day you will be best friends with one of those people.
Ayanokōji Posted July 25, 2012 Posted July 25, 2012 Why would you need someone else to comfort you with your problems? Comforting is not solving them, its just being there and basically doing nothing for you technically. Being self sufficient is important these days.
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.