Wife Masturbating issue

[april15]

So my wife and I are having a little rough patch where we aren't really feeling connected and are both rather frustrated. It has to do with schedules, work, kids, and time in general but not a big deal, just something to work on. Last night we get into bed and there is a little tension so even though I am a little horny, I opt for no moves. We snuggled and laid awake. Sometimes when my wife cannot sleep I will get her off with my hand and it helps so I offer. She declines. No big deal, but we are touching and a little while later I can tell that she is masturbating. I ask her if she is, and she says no and says she is laying that way for her sore hip, but I wasn't even thinking on how she was laying, it was her hand movement and sounds and smells.

 

Now I don't know what to say or do to get back to a happy place. I am aggravated that she turned me away and that she lied to me over something silly. We kinda aren't talking today so I want to gather my thoughts and start off in a positive direction tonight or tomorrow. Ideas?

[camus154]

Let it go and focus on connecting again.

[pippy longstocking]

sometimes a girl just wants to crank one out with her private thoughts and her fingers ...

 

but I think she was disrespectful to do it in the bed next to you after you had offered .

[sodizzy]

For me? It's a solo experience. I don't want anyones help with it. It would irritate me if someone asked but if my SO was next to me, I'd much prefer to just BE with him. However, since you're having a rough patch - don't let it bother you. She just wanted to do it alone. I would be the same way and not because I wasn't into my SO.

[Trinity11]

I wouldn't worry about it. Yeh it was unusual that she would lie about it, but maybe she just needs a little space to hersef.

You say you are having a rough patch and do not have much time...why don't you get a baby sitter and book yourselves in to a day spa-or her if you think thats a better option. Once returned from a relaxing afternoon, there is a way that will make the day even more amazing. NOT MAKING DINNER. Either get take out for the family as a treat, or make or get takeout for yourselves. Show her that you care, but let her come to you when she is ready

 

 

[Blue92]

Somtimes, we just prefer to get off on our own. Nothing personal to you guys. It just feels different.

[Steve55]

Respectfully, I think a lot of you guys are missing the point.

 

April15 wrote that he and his wife are "having a little rough patch where we aren't really feeling connected and are both rather frustrated. That, in addition to what he is describing, suggests a disconnect in their marriage.

 

If this persists, I'd suggest some couples counseling.

[greywolf]

There have been times where I've wanted to do it myself, but I do think it is disrespectful to deny someone's offer, and then lie about it.

[pl3asehelp]

She's passive aggressive (doing it next to you in bed while after you offered is her way of insulting you) and lying to you - you have to confront that head on.