Limbo?

[Maritza]

Hi, everyone.

 

You can find a short version of my story in my previous thread:

 

 

Last time I spoke to my ex, he told me he was still confused about what he wanted to do about his life, his divorce, us, etc., etc. He said he was trying to sort things out and make a decision.

 

Ten days have passed and I feel I'm in limbo. I haven't tried to contact him at all, but it's been very hard since I have no doubts about my love for him. However, at the same time, my sense of pride is hurt by the idea that everything seems to be in his hands. Then again, if I decide to act out of pride and move on, I get my pride but I lose the chance of being with someone I love. But then what if I just wait and he doesn't come around? You get the idea... it's all very stressful.

 

I'd appreciate any helpful comments on how to give someone the space he needs and not go crazy (or become clinically depressed) in the process.

[mhowe]

You are in limbo because it is where you choose to be --- accept that you have broken up. He is confused about his life ---that is where he is.

 

You have your life -- had it before him --- and can have it again, right now. It is a life w/out him.

 

Maybe one day he will figure out his confusion, and come back to you. But you cannot put your life on hold waiting for that day. You are not acting out of pride to do so --- you are acting out of self preservation. I doubt he expects you to wait for him....nor should you.

 

Go back to being single you. It hurts, but it won't kill you. Date if you want --- be single for as long as you want.

 

Take back your power.

[Maritza]

Thanks, mhowe. I know it's good advice, although it hurts.

[unhappy2000]

I am in a similar boat, he was confused about himself it had nothing to do with me blah blah blah. Regardless it all ended the same he left me, so I had to move on. It's been 11 weeks and he has not even once tried to contact me (well he went through two people re: my birthday lame) but I have had to pick myself up, dust myself off and start all over again! I do hope he comes back but I have no idea what I would tell him to be honest.

[Maritza]

I know, Unhappy, I feel the same way. Although I know he is going to call me at some point in the near future (he said as much), I don't know what the purpose of that conversation will be, so I really dread it. Besides, at this point I am so hurt and I feel so mistreated, that I don't know what I would say either.

[unhappy2000]

Mine said he doesn't see us ever together in the future, I asked him why he said he didn't want to get started with everything which I think was a cop out...He said he was still in love with me and it was all because of his confusion with his life etc, so I am pretty sure he will call me unless he loves me that much and doesn't want to hurt me down the road who knows. But I do know I can't sit around and wait because what if in the mean time I sit here and wait and he meets some girl who he just clicks with.