broken1i Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 I'm sure most of you are familiar with the "no contact" rule, also known as NC, after splitting from an ex. I've done it for a month and I feel great. I've come to the conclusion that I will most likely move on from this whole thing and meet someone else in the future. I don't have intimate feelings for my ex but I do care about her. Contacting her right now would be something I'm not exactly open to, but I don't want to eliminate her out of my life completely. I did go out with her for 3 1/2 years. I do care about her. I'm confused as to what to do after no contact. I've only done NC for a month and know I should go longer but what happens after that. After I've done 6-12 months of NC. Should I wipe her out of my life completely? Thoughts?
broken1i Posted July 17, 2012 Author Posted July 17, 2012 Just disappear forever, huh? Possible but not probable, but definitely possible. I mean it's a suckass position to be in to eliminate someone like that completely but then again it's hard to have them as friends as well.
DerekJason Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 I know man, it's a real poopoo platter, stuck between the devil and the deep blue sea. It's easier for me to say cuz I was not given the option to stay in contact or not
doiiiieeezie Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 It depends on your situation. If you are doing NC just because you heard about NC, then you are simply avoiding the person. If she comes back in your life, then it will happen in time... but most of the time people will come and go from your life. Accept it, mourn the loss and gain insight and strength from it. Your chapter may not be over with her, but the breakup is too raw and new for any thought. You have to let her simply go. At least for now.
broken1i Posted July 17, 2012 Author Posted July 17, 2012 This is my second long term relationship, first was 2 years, then 3.5 years. And I'm 22 somehow lol. Anyhow I know the process of NC given that I did it with my first ex and I didn't talk to her for years. Nowadays she contacts me to hangout and I kinda avoid it. Same might happen to this girl. I'll accept doiezie's response. Definitely too raw to even think about. Sucks but at least I got the first month in.
Dinocaz Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 During and after NC comes your own life in every way! I have personally chosen to stick to my NC for the never ending future. I can not think of 1 single valid reason of why I would contact my ex. NC in some cases never ends so its not really a case of what comes after ... its not as if you can have a set period of time and then re-enter into contact. NC is about letting go of the past and the person that let you down so badly that you had to make the bold move to never contact them again. As time goes on NC will become less and less of an issue. A none event, it will just be somthing or somone you dont associate with at all. I am active in working on getting my life back on track, at some point it wont matter about NC with the ex as I wont give a tosss. NC never really ends it just dont become such a big issue given enough time (and the right screwww you attitude!) My 10cents.
broken1i Posted July 17, 2012 Author Posted July 17, 2012 I appreciate the response Dinocaz. That person did let me down don't get me wrong, but cutting her off completely seems cruel right now. Maybe not after a few more months of NC, but to think that I was with this person for 3.5 years really hits me hard to just cut her off forever. I do however see why couples keep getting back together and breaking up and eventually even have a kid at times even though the relationship doesn't work. I'll will remain hopeful that NC will work for me. Thank you.
Dinocaz Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 I appreciate the response Dinocaz. That person did let me down don't get me wrong, but cutting her off completely seems cruel right now. Maybe not after a few more months of NC, but to think that I was with this person for 3.5 years really hits me hard to just cut her off forever. I do however see why couples keep getting back together and breaking up and eventually even have a kid at times even though the relationship doesn't work. I'll will remain hopeful that NC will work for me. Thank you. Hi each person has to make the choice what they feel is best. The reason I went for total NC was for myself. Why invest anything emotinally to a person who is giving nothing in return. But full respect each to there own, all I would caution on is in keeping any kind of contact you could expose yourself to further pain ... e.g if she meets somone else ? Im in no way saying that is going to happen but things like this are possible. Wish you really the best with your own journey .)))
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