am I being a cheap friend?

[tom1607307597]

A mutual friend invited me, my brother, and several other mutual friends/acquaintances to get dinner this weekend. The thing is I live close to 100 miles away and while my brother wants to go, I feel like traveling 100 miles just to eat with some friends at a restaurant is not worth the expense. If we were staying for at least a few days and had some plans while we were there maybe. Money is definitively a factor here. Lately my bank account has been close to empty and the thought of going to eat at a minimum $12 restaurant and traveling so far to do that (for one night probably) seems unreasonable. I guess if I had money to spare I wouldn't have bothered making this thread, but does this kind of thinking make me a cheap friend?

 

Just for reference there's been other situations where money wasn't a problem but I would refuse to go on a 2 hour drive just to check out a famous restaurant or a large mall in the nearest big city. It just never seemed worth going.

[FYI]

Perhaps to make the drive and trip more worth the while at 100 miles is to schedule it at a time where you all can do much more than just eat. At least then, you'll be getting your money's worth and getting something out of the drive. Coordinate it a fun day with everybody so that everyone can pitch in and enjoy and book a hotel or make arrangements so that you can stay overnight. Get more out of your drive. Get more out of money and get more out of your time.

[SuperDuper]

First off I think that you could just carpool with one of the several people going, maybe drop $5 each... or perhaps they won't care either way. Plenty of my friends are kind of broke and I don't nag them for gas money, especially if it's just a one-time thing like this is. Secondly, I think you just have to weigh up what you want more, to save that $20-$25 bucks or to go and have dinner with some friends?

 

I wouldn't consider you cheap, just broke.

[blueidealist24]

I don't think you're being unreasonable. If you don't think it's worth it, then you don't, just stay home. I might not do it either, depending on how much money I had and how much I cared about those particular friends. I think that is kind of weird to invite people from that far, but have no other plans besides going out to eat.

[annie24]

meh, i think 100 miles for dinner is excessive. i'd probably turn that down unless it was a friend from the other side of the world who was only going to be there for a few days.

[tom1607307597]

Well that answers it. Thank you guys, there's not much I can do about the planning since it's mostly aimed at people who already are at the city where they're going. As for going I'll opt out. There will be more chances for stuff like this when school starts again.

 

Just out of curiosity what defines a cheap friend to you? Things that come to me are making others pay for their food when going out most of the time and not returning the favor, or always buying cheap presents for important events like birthday and anniversaries.

[blueidealist24]

I don't really have a definition of a "cheap friend." People have different levels of finances and they do what they feel they can afford. The only thing that comes to mind is someone who goes out with another friend or a group and tries to get someone else to pay for their meals, tickets, etc. I don't really know if there's cheapness and non-cheapness when it comes to presents. As long as they've put effort into buying something, it seems that's enough.. sometimes inexpensive gifts are the most thoughtful.