How to non-intrusively enter into a conversation?

[dog stevens]

I've been accused of interjecting and rudely interrupting many times. Is there a way to non-intrusively enter into other people's conversations? Or should I just not bother and wait until I'm talked to first?

[Unreasonable]

In what context?

 

Does this happen when you're say, sitting at a table with some people, or things like poking your head over someone's cube cause you hear some coworkers talking about something you're interested in?

 

For the former, you are presumably a guest and should be able to politely enter the conversation. If it's the latter, you are an evesdropper and should never, EVER speak up in that situation.

[dog stevens]

In what context?

 

Does this happen when you're say, sitting at a table with some people, or things like poking your head over someone's cube cause you hear some coworkers talking about something you're interested in?

 

For the former, you are presumably a guest and should be able to politely enter the conversation. If it's the latter, you are an evesdropper and should never, EVER speak up in that situation.

 

Well, I guess it's happened in both scenarios, but for the former how do I politely enter the conversation?

[gluestick]

Did they tell you why they think you rudely interrupt by giving you examples?

 

It's hard to say because we can't see you in action, but I think it's all about timing and that's something you'd have to get a feel for the more you do it. You can practice with family if you feel awkward doing it with friends or coworkers.

 

The only time I find people rude or annoying during a conversation is when they interrupt me when I'm in the middle of speaking a sentence or thought/story OR they completely switch the topic. Example: "So I went to watch XYZ movie yesterday and it was..." and get cut off here or someone says "yeah, so I bought a new car this weekend". If you enter the conversation after people finish their sentences and/or story, then I don't see how that's a problem. So for example, someone is trying to tell you a story, don't enter the conversation until after they've finished telling their story, but you can ask questions like "then what happened?" or "oh really?" or "are you serious?" or "no way!", etc...things of that nature. And don't suddenly switch the topic until the previous topic has been fully explored or when the conversation naturally flows into another topic.

[epsilon2x]

You can always trying something like, "Hey I'm sorry for butting in, but I just overheard your conversation and would like to add...."

[mfan]

Well, I guess it's happened in both scenarios, but for the former how do I politely enter the conversation?

 

By asking a question that shows interest in what's currently being talked about.

 

Please note, it must be a question. Coming into a conversation of non-friends with your own statement, or even worse, with unsolicited advice, will probably be construed as rude.

 

Once you ask a question and listen to the answer attentively and see that the people are now including you in their discussion, by sort of talking towards you and not just to each other, you might then venture to put in a statement as long as it's relevant and doesn't change or steal the subject.

 

To review: When entering an existing conversation:

- Do not make a statement

- Do not change or steal the subject

- Do not Give advice (***VERY IMPORTANT**** No matter how valuable you feel your advice is; even if this means letting the talkers go on being ignorant or stupid.)

 

Here's an example to make this clear. Suppose you sit down at a table of coworkers who you don't know very well, and you hear this conversation:

 

A: "But every time I go to that website, it's blank".

B: "Gee, that's too bad."

A: "Yeah, so I guess I'm never going to see the pictures from my mom's vacation."

You: ...

 

Polite Entry

You: "Where did your mom go on vacation?" (question on current topic)

 

Rude Entries

You: "Have you guys seen any movies lately?" (changes the subject)

You: "I've been having difficulty with some web sites, too." (not a question; also sort of steals the topic and makes it about you)

You: "My mom just got back from Switzerland." (steals the subject and makes it about you; also not a question)

You: "Did you try hitting Refresh?" (unsolicited advice)

You: "I had that same problem and I just deleted the temporary files and it worked" (Not a question; unsolicited advice)

 

You can expect dirty looks if you come in with any of those five examples.

 

Best of luck.

-mfan

[abitbroken]

Why not just approach the group that is conversing, nod in agreement when its called for, and genuinely follow the conversation - look at who is talking when they are talking. If they know you, etc, they will eventually pull you into the conversation. They will ask your opinion about the subject or say hello, etc.

 

Also don't go into a conversation with "i have something to say and i can't wait to say it". Just go with the flow and don't have an agenda.

 

Also, what about approaching the person that is sitting alone and making them feel welcome instead of trying to hijack someone else's convo?