Thoughts on the dating game?

[VeryConfused17]

So it's been about 11 months since my BU, and about 7 months of NC. I still think about her often, but I am not phased by the thoughts of her. Everynow and then I'll dwell on the RS for a bit. I've come a long way in understanding my shortcomings in the relationships, learning more about myself, and returning to the things I once loved that I sacrificed. I've rediscovered my love for fitness (lost about 40 pounds), my love for art (completed a number of sketches and other art projects), and my love for travel. I've really come a long way in my healing. However there is still one aspect that I am struggling with.

 

I try not to put too much thought in meeting someone new, and just kind of letting it happen. However when I do go out I find it hard to flirt again or just talk to girls. I'll strike up conversations but I often find them going nowhere or rather boring. I think it's important to note that I do not frequent bars often anymore. Mostly because I have a hard time believing I'll meet anyone that I'd be interested in relationship wise at bars. I find it hard to converse in loud drunk settings. I have a friend of mine who seems to be very good at picking up random women in non bar settings, and even lightly date them for awhile. He's very charming and charismatic. However I just can't seem to put my finger on it why he is so good at it. I feel that I am putting too much thought into the whole process of getting back in the dating game.

 

I do well financially, I've lost a lot of weight, I'm a rather good looking guy but I just seem to be struggling with the whole confidence and approachability issue. I'm a very outgoing person (used to be a lot more, before the BU that is). Just curious to see if anyone has any pointers or has run into similair obstacles in getting back into the dating game.

[csr14]

The dating game isn't something easy to play. Have you ever considered trying online dating? There are so many stigma's against it but really - it's a great way to go, especially when you are struggling to meet girls the "real way". There are great people on there. Great people who are in your same boat. Don't get me wrong - there are weirdos and doing it is kind of like fishing but its a great way to meet people that you may never even have a chance of meeting normally. I met my now live-in boyfriend of 7 months. We will probably get married someday. He is the most amazing man I've ever met and I'm certain that I probably wouldn't have ever met him had it not been for plenty of fish.