long distance

[jennysouza789]

I have been dating my boyfriend from 7 months now and before that we were best friends. We are in our 20s. Things were amazing we had the best compatibility and we both understood each other very well. As we know each other from really long, he spoke about future plans and he was very sure about it. After 2 months of dating i had to move out due to work and family issues. I was not sure long distance would work but he still dint want to let this go and said that this is special.

 

Presently things have changed, i'm a lot more in love with him and though he says he does love me. It seems a little different. He calls me everyday just coz its a must. every call doesnt last fr more than 5 mins and we actually talk nothing.. he said he is busy with work i understood n had no issues.. now he has quit his job n most of the time he stays at home. Its been more than a month and still its the same i need to text him to check on him and he calls only for formality. Though he is doing nothing he replies to my messages only after 3 or 4 hours while we are having a serious conversation. While i spoke to him about all this he says i'll be around friends while i talk to them i dont remember to reply (i understand) so I told him instead of not replying to my msg he can atleast say that he is busy with his friends so that i dont wait for his text and i wldnt disturb while he is having fun. he said he finds it rude and said that i'm very important to him. I'm not a clingy person i need my space and i give him space. but he needs so much space that i feel we are strangers. And yesterday one of the common friend told me that he has been drinking and smoking a lot. basically coz he has nothing better to do. And with me he had told earlier that though he is not working he is busy with other stuff. Instead of doing nthing he can atleast visit me and things can get better. while i talk abt visiting he says he has finance problem. but he goes out with his friends to expensive place I dont understand this guy...he doesnt even communicate properly. what do i do??

[ZhaoZilong5]

He's losing interest. My ex started going out more and doing things that she normally didn't do. In the end, it's like her activities did a complete 180. She went from a geeky soccer girl who liked writing to somebody who just goes out every night. She eventually met other people and broke up with me.

 

Schedule some time with him to sit down and talk. I did that with my ex, and even then, she didn't know anything at the time, and she didn't really want to talk about it, so it was over. Bring up your concerns, and if he cares about you romantically, then you two will work on them. If he cares about you as a friend, then he'll at the very least be upfront with you about what he wants, even if it's not a relationship or to work through whatever he's going through with you. If he doesn't care about you at all currently, then he won't make an effort at all. He might end up caring again later after you're gone and if his life is worse off without you. That, or he might spiral downard low enough that he'll be afraid or not care to contact you again.

 

Communication is always key, especially now. I know you've been having serious conversations, but talk to him about what you're asking us now.