rmdannielle Posted July 15, 2012 Posted July 15, 2012 Six months ago i had a birth control implanted into my arm, its suppose to keep me from getting pregnant and stop my periods for three years. About three months later i had a miscarriage, i had no idea that i was even pregnant.. I felt depressed for a few days, but my mom said that it would be better if i just didn't think about it. My boyfriend was understanding, but i don't think it affected him as much as it did me. An i feel like i shouldn't be sad about it because its not like i wanted a baby or even knew i was pregnant. But when it happened i felt that i lost apart of myself that i just can't get back, i have been trying to feel normal again. Ive tried talking to my boyfriend about it but he just doesn't know how to relate... an i feel so stupid for feeling this way since it happened three months ago.. I think about it everyday.. I Mean I'm seventeen year old , why did this happen to me? I was on a birth control that is suppose to make sure that doesn't happen... How do I get back to normal?
pippy longstocking Posted July 15, 2012 Posted July 15, 2012 The baby was part of you and you have to greive for that loss , and that takes time. It is no good saying don't think about it because you will until you recover from the loss. It is a very lonely time , because it is your body and your personal loss and the people around you cannot ever step into your shoes unless they have suffered a loss like this. You will always remember your baby but the pain will subside . call your baby a name if that feels right , don;t be afraid to relate to your own feelings and acknoweldge that even though you didn't know nor want a child yet , you have every right to feel this loss . you are only 17 and one day you will have another baby ...you now know you are able to get pregnant and that is good to know honestly. Don;t dwell on there been something wrong with you ok .... a mis is unfortunately very very common , I have had two and an eptopic ... the majority of women never know why they lost their babies , there is usually no answer . Infact when I had the eptopic and was coming round from the op , the doctor came to me to expalin what had happened to my tube etc and I got really upset ....and before I even said anything , he said "no your not been puished , no this is not your fault , no you didn't eat anything wrong and no there is nothing wrong with you " .. he said all of that is what every woman asks .. it is one of those things you just have to accept ..happened. you maybe need something to look at or to dedicate to you baby ,so I have got the link for the sea of candles , its very beautiful and might help you to have something to have as yours for your baby . lots of love to you xx link removed
lukeb Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 I doubt very much there is a timetable for how long it takes before you become "normal". I think any significant experience changes you, and you will never be the same person you were before. So the answer if you wanted to be technical you will never be the same person. The hope is that you are a more rounded and complex person out of this experience.
SamiJayne Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 I've very sorry for your loss, I don't think time will heal you at all. Or in my case it never has. I think you learn to adapt to the pain, and it'll soon become a new normal for you. Two of my mc's were due to the implant failing, We also had a mc jan this yr, and lost our daughter 3 hrs after birth nearly 4 years ago. I don't think the pain goes away. Sometimes it feels like a lifetime ago, and then theres times when it's so fresh and the pain is so raw that you just don't know what to do but cry. And you have every right to be upset. I think you should talk about it, maybe go to your GP and ask to see if they can send you to a councellor that specialises in it? there are many groups and forums that support ladies who've suffered a loss. And I recommend Carly "To Write thier names in the sands" I have a beautiful picture on my wall in memory of my little girl Sophie, her name is writen in teh sand and it's abeautiful sunset. Carly has also started doing hearts in the sand, for those who've had miscarriages, as every baby counts. x
SamiJayne Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 Shooting Star is right too, doing something to dedicate your baby. You can name a rose in memory of your little one, my husband did this for me as xmas, sadly none of the seeds grew but am getting more seeds to grow. Theres name a star, in memory of a loved one. Theres also Roses if you can't even bare to think of a name for your baby, where they have speicial names like "My little girl" In yellow, I have "My Little Girl" and I adore it. I never did anything to remember my mc's
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