Does Karma really come around?.... really. (Really long)

[LilK87]

I have never posted on here before but have been reading posts for the last few days.. I just want to say I know the pain people are feeling and it really does suck!! Here's my story... I have been on and off with my ex for 4.5 yrs. We both had met after getting out of long relationships, mine longer than his. It was great at first, until I found out my other ex was with someone else and I was very jealous. I left the current ex for him but shortly relized that was a mistake. The trust was broken but we continued to date for about 3 yrs before we broke up. There was a lot of drama and immaturity going on (on both parts) cheating, lying, etc and he broke up with me, completely cut me off w/out warning. Changed number etc.. I was so hurt but I knew it was time to move on. I dated a few guys as he dated a few girls (one of them being my cousin whom I was "close" to)..... 9 months later, he contacts me. !!! He asked to get together, I was single, so I did it. (BIG MISTAKE).. We continued to "see" eachother for about a year.. I was being lead on, and I kind of had a feeling, but he would tell me things and I believed it. "Im not leading you on or stringing you along, I'm just scared you'll get sick of me","Let's see how things go", 'I love you and want nobody else", "You're the "one", it's always been you", things like that... I always had a hard time believing him, as I've heard this all before. But I figured since he broke NC after 9 months something had to be there, right?? WRONGGGG! He would ask me to be his gf officially, mostly when he was drinking, sometimes not, but I was soo confused and unsure I never agreed. And when I did think about it and would say "ok lets do this", he would back away.... Last month (June) he started acting different, he met up w me one nite at a local bar, (now he's only went out with me ONE time during this whole year) he was acting so nice and in front of everyone pretty much acted like we were together.. I was so happy! For about 2 weeks after we were talking about spending more time together (he was going thru schedule changes at work) and he promised he would make more time for me when he was on vaca from work.. Everything was good... UNTIL, the 3rd week in June.... When he was takin his vaca from work (16th-25th).. He was drinking and partying everyday/nite, out on the river, basically hanging with everyone besides me.. He told me he would stay the whole week with me.. He stayed 2 nites. I asked him repeatedly what was going on and if he was with anyone else.. The answer was always no. I just had a feeling. It was horrible. Cried everynite. Believe all the lies. So the week after 25th-30th, he was asking to come over to my house in the mornings (booty call), before he would go to work or out w friends on river.. I said no of course... So the nite of the 30th, I asked him to come over... Got no reply.. BUT got a message from a friend who saw a pic of him uploaded to a social site, of him and some girl that day... I was devastated!! Texted him the next day and asked what was up. Was he with someone? He says "no". I then ask him about the pic I saw, and he finally replies "I have been hanging w/ someone that's y I havent been over"... I was so upset. He had been trying to come over to my house and then go and hang w this girl that whole week for all i know... So disgusting!!! I had asked him well are you with her, are you datin, blah blah and he wouldnt respond after that. Thats the last thing I heard from him... 4 days later she goes to "in a relationship" from what I heard... And I was soooo upset! Worst 4th of july ever!!!------ The last time we split I know it was mostly my fault, I got what was coming to me and I lived with it... This time around I did nothing to deserve the things he's done but he gets to move on with a beautiful girl living "the dream life"! I've seen pics of them all wrapped up in eachother and looking like the perfect couple..! Makes me sad. Im just soooo hurt b/c not even 2 weeks before he met her he was all about working it out! I feel like I got the short end of the stick! I think about him all the time, made only 2 attempts 2 contact him, more than a week ago, and he doesnt reply.. He never really did tell me it was over, as I asked sooooo many times.. Just hurts he couldnt have the decency. I dont want to wish bad things on him, but will karma get around to him? Has anyone ever experienced such a relationship? What was the point of leading me on for a damn year, when obviously he could get anyone he wants? I KNOW i need to move on and am doing my best, I feel like I'm in some sort of denial. as I cant believe someone would say alllll of those things just to get s*x! Sorry this is so long and thanks for reading

[RedDress]

Aww... I am sorry you are going through this. I think many of us have been in the yo-yo relationship. They are incredibly hard to break from because... well... they keep coming and going. Somehow that's a little comforting because somewhere you kind of have faith that they will come back again.

 

I think where things started to go really wrong, obviously, was here:

 

There was a lot of drama and immaturity going on (on both parts) cheating, lying, etc and he broke up with me, completely cut me off w/out warning

 

I mean... if there was a history of cheating and lying in your relationship... if you really look deep down inside... what did you expect? In the sober light of day, that answer should be "more cheating and lying"... right?

 

I don't think you should think of it as him saying all that stuff just to get sex. I doubt that's what that was. Like you said... he could get others. I'm sure there was some feelings there. It's just - one of two things. Either:

 

a) He's a liar and a cheater and while he looks all happy now, he'll be lying and cheating on her too. Bullet dodged. Things are not always what they seem...

 

OR

 

b) The two of you just had an extremely toxic relationship and if he would have stayed with you, you would have simply found yourself older, possibly more attached, possibly with children when he started his cheating and lying again. Bullet dodged.

 

I think it's time to stop worrying about him and just see it as what it is - a blessing! He is gone and he needs to stay gone. The sooner you stop thinking about him, the sooner you can move on to your new, happy life! Wouldn't you rather spend your next vacation on a beach somewhere with girlfriends or with some new, hot LOYAL guy?? Look ahead - there is happy ahead. The past is full of ugly. Don't look there.