Charles Hurst Posted July 15, 2012 Posted July 15, 2012 I met a girl, who is amazing. We hung out twice and I took her out on a date on the 3rd time. We've talked for about a week and a half. I took her to a restaurant and it was going wonderfully until her ex passed by at the bar, but she blew him off easily. So I tried to kiss her and it worked, she smiled and laughed, and everything was good again. I was about to take her home when I said "I think I might love you, a bit" and then we kissed again, but it felt.... X#3 passionate this time. Then I drove her home and said I love you. She remarked that she couldn't say that yet, and I said I know...I don't mean it full blown, just a bit. After that she didn't text or anything, and I thought I freaked her out so I waited until the morning when she sent me a text saying she wished I hadn't said that so soon, that she felt weird about it, that she wants to be close friends, and that she needed to text me later/ some time. Oh, and that she likes to take things slow. I apologized, said that I panicked and it slipped out. Later after I got off work I told her I had a bad day, she said sorry, then i asked how she was, she said good. Just one word replies so I left it alone..... Of course about 2 hours later my dad comes home and harasses me, so I asked her to chat with me, since I was having an awful day. She didn't reply... I know I shouldn't have said it, but I do have some feelings even if it is small....like really tiny... But...before I met her I'd been swinging around a bit... Once in Hawaii for a 1-nighter and then with one of my friends. We set up a mutual thing for it. But once I wanted to see if I could say I love you, but it came out as I love that feeling. I felt bad. Not because I couldnt say it, since I dont love my friend like that, but because theres no one I know I can really say I love you to and mean it, except two people, and one has been giving me **** for 2 years. The girl I like doesn't know this, because I met her after this all happened....I still talk to my friend but I havnt tried have sex with her because....idk.... I think ill feel like a jerk even though I don't usually care...
laninaperdida Posted July 15, 2012 Posted July 15, 2012 This is easy enough to bounce back from. The girl is freaked out, yes, but in the end ego wins out over creepiness & nothing boosts an ego more than having someone "love" you. If the gender roles were reversed however, I'd say you shot yourself in the foot, lol. Only *real* negative thing that can happen is she'll think she has way too much ***** power over you now - intentionally or not. Just keep in keeping on. I wouldn't talk about it anymore unless she wants to.
Charles Hurst Posted July 15, 2012 Author Posted July 15, 2012 Okay. Now im just wondering I should text her friendly stuff or just not speak unless she speaks first, or-?
laninaperdida Posted July 15, 2012 Posted July 15, 2012 Everyone will tell you not to play games, but when you've come off as pathetic as you have (no offence), letting her make the initiative can't hurt. Respond when she texts you (don't wait it out), but try to redeem yourself by pulling back in some reasonable. If you text her & do all the work of course she'll receive you - you told her you love her, lol. Most girls aren't evil enough to run away after that. Don't over think it, but don't do all the work, either.
Pineapplejuice Posted July 15, 2012 Posted July 15, 2012 Nope just don't speak. Don't initiate anything from now on. See what she does. It definitely stroke her ego but that can lead two ways: either she's in or out. So, wait... On the sideline I don't like playing games but this is different. If some guy does that to me I feel flattered but if i'm not interested I would back off, if I'm (slightly) interested I want more. But this can take time because I would become shy by the early compliment. In general I would have appreciated the honesty.
SuperDuper Posted July 15, 2012 Posted July 15, 2012 Like the others have said, just back off and if she likes you enough she'll likely contact you eventually.
FYI Posted July 15, 2012 Posted July 15, 2012 You definitely freaked her out, a week and a half? That's pretty soon to put those kind of emotions on the table. Even if it were true, that you loved her, you really oughta not say that so soon. My best guess is that she really likes you a lot but she's not in love with you. And it's going to make things a little awkward from here on out, I think, as others mentioned back off a little and see how she takes it. She might still continue on with you and she might take off running. And what's this about ,"I don't mean it full blown, just a bit". Either you do or you don't. That's why you wait until you know it's for sure before you say it and not just "a bit".
Steve55 Posted July 15, 2012 Posted July 15, 2012 I think you may have freaked her out a bit too. It may, or may not, be a fatal error. Time will tell. Same thing happened to me many years ago. I was dating a woman I really cared about. It looked like it was going places and then on our third date, I made a casual comment about being a couple and that was game over. We had a nice date, but zero passion or progress, and then she stopped returning my calls. This was before texts, but she would have ignored those too. Never heard from her again.
calichick007 Posted July 15, 2012 Posted July 15, 2012 Agree with the others. Hang tight and see if she contacts you. If she does, don't keep trying to apologize/explain. Just play it cool and move forward (slowwwwly).
Ms Darcy Posted July 15, 2012 Posted July 15, 2012 You do know that's a little nutty right? Yes you freaked her out. Just give her space and let her come to you.
photograph11 Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 I do agree that it is a little fast to say it. But i have a story for you. One of my friends was dating a girl. Hewasnt so interested in her but gave her a chance to get to know her. He liked hanging out with her, and after like the fifth date she told him she loved him! He didnt reply anything but continued seeing her as if she didnt say it, if anything, he said it was a nice thing to be told to. Time went by and now they have been together for like 6 months. The tables have certainly turned. He is still with her, but now she seems lessi terested in him and he is really into her. He wants to stay with her, he's even cried over her when theyve had fights when she told him she would leave him. This is just to show you how yea it was quick to say i love you, but if this girl is opened minded and gives you some time to get to know you as if you havent said it, things could still turn out well!
alwaysmoving Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 You've dug your grave man If someone told me he loved me on a 3rd date, I'd run too. I'd be thinking that he's crazy or just trying to get in my pants.
Charles Hurst Posted July 16, 2012 Author Posted July 16, 2012 Well I'd like to just ignore it and be done, say I'm an idiot, and so on... A lot easier, but I know we are going to the same college....and soon..in like...a month. **** I hope I don't share any classes with her, because... I guess I'd feel nervous? I'd need to not talk to her even though I might want to, and Idk... I just feel so frustrated because I can never get myself to say the right things, or I do something stupid by accident.
mhowe Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 If nothing else, learn from this. You don't fall "in love" in 3 dates. And after 3 dates, you don't have the "right" to call and dump on someone because you had a bad day.
Charles Hurst Posted July 16, 2012 Author Posted July 16, 2012 Well what should I do? Ime truelly sorry and its starting hurt.
Steve55 Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 Well I'd like to just ignore it and be done, say I'm an idiot, and so on... A lot easier, but I know we are going to the same college....and soon..in like...a month. **** I hope I don't share any classes with her, because... I guess I'd feel nervous? I'd need to not talk to her even though I might want to, and Idk... I just feel so frustrated because I can never get myself to say the right things, or I do something stupid by accident. Trust me, you're not alone in that This may not be a done deal...Time will tell. Maybe if you two talk she may say she likes you but just wants to go slower.
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