What now?

[gamerdelight]

This is a continuation of my previous post but with an added situation which the thread "Is there a chance"

 

Not only have my ex girlfriend been seeing someone new and sleeping with them, but she doesn't really want to communicate with me or be amicable either. I did call her "sexually loose" in a few text messages, and she uses that as an excuse to not want to be friends. I did say that, but that after discovering the horrible news. I still love her even though she was with someone else, and even though our relationship was pretty short. I text and called her excessively, and after sending her a sexually explicit email, she took it to the university police and I am to no longer allow to contact her in any way. It was such a weird feeling when I seen the police officer with a printed copy of that same sexually explicit message... I just want to know what is the best way to get over her. I clearly know I should should stop contacting her, but how to do so when I contact her in an impulsive manner, without thinking about it. Ever since I learned that she was sleeping with someone else, suddenly I started getting suicidal thoughts. I have no previous background with attempting any kind of suicide, but when I lie down and tired I don't just fall a sleep, I lie there convincing my self why not to commit suicide. Having my reputation tarnished, I feel like I'm even pushed more to the edge.

[charity]

ok... so first of all NO you don't love her. in your last post you have mentioned many horrible things about her and in this post you are harassing her so i think we can all agree these are not loving ways to behave. rethink what it is exactly you are feeling because it is important to find out what is the source of this behaviour. is it obsession? attachment (google it)? ego is damaged? your feeling inadequate? not good enough? jealous?

 

we all understand that losing your first relationship is difficult. you had hopes for it. its normal to feel sad, hard done by, jealous.

but feeling suicidal.. and harassing the girl is not normal.

this is ONE of many relationships you will have in your life. ONE. so take control of yourself now.

only you can control your actions and your way in life.

 

love is about respect, kindness, acceptance. she did not love you. you did not love her. maybe if you realize this, you can see that THIS relationship is not worth giving up on yourself for. yes you have made mistakes.... but you can move on from those and redeem yourself.

[gamerdelight]

It didn't do it out of harassment. I felt I was losing her. I actually don't know how I feel. Every time I tried contacting her she pushed me a way and made me more sad. I only say bad things out of retaliation. I sent her the sexually explicit email not as a form of harassment, but as a way for her to remember our past together. She did take that to the police, and now my reputation is shatter, and that same email will be forwarded to student conduct department.

 

I think my other actions may be triggered a little by jealousy also. What does this person have that I don't have. Why does she feel stronger for this person. Although she deny it, throughout most of the relationship I had suspicions of her being with someone else. What other reason why a woman would completely dump you out of the cold blue. Her main excuse is that I was too "needy." I only requested to spend time with her once a week and that was too much. Also I remember the strong feelings I had for her it was amazing. After siting in the police department, and having the first mark on my record, my feelings for her started to fade, but I still do feel that I'm at a great loss.

[charity]

it makes sense that she called you needy because it is needy people who find break ups so hard to accept. i was one myself.

what does this person have that you don't have? probably nothing. its not personal.

she didn;t dump you out of the blue though did she? you said things hadn't been the same since you slept together. so it wasn't completely unexpected.....

you only say bad things out of retaliation? so what bad things was she saying to you? or were just saying bad things because she was telling you something you didn't want to hear.

first of all you need to have a moment of ... oh my god... that was OTT. i am moving on from this and i will never react like that again''.

when you have that moment you will have grown from this experience.

i hope you will be ok. its not worth all this aggro, it really isn't.

[gamerdelight]

I think she did probably dump me because I was needy. He was probably posing a bigger challenge for her . Even how bad our situation has gotten, I still hope to see her on campus and I still miss her smile and when she would climb her chair just to kiss me. She changed all of her furniture upon dumping me. Despite the fact that she with someone else I still want her. It's like my mind already knows she is poison, however there is something internally that has a deep desire for her... I'm on the brink of insanity. You know how crazy people talk to themselves in a crazy manner. I now do that.