Its possible

[rainbows1]

Not long ago I posted about the final end with my ex and how sometimes getting back together doesn't work out even if you really really want it to.

 

But this is more a post about finding love again. When me and my ex first split in december, I pined over him everyday for about 3 months. There was no one else at the time for me, I felt I was never going to fall in love again, that was it I was tied to him emotionally forever, that the feelings were never going to go away. I do sometimes still think about the ex boyfriend, what we had to begin with and I do feel I will always have something for him as he was my first love, HOWEVER, you can move on from your ex boyfriend/girlfriend.

 

As I explained in my last post I did meet someone else shortly after me and my ex split up for the second time. We've not had the easiest start, which I won't go into details with, however its seemed to have made me fall for him harder. Now he is the first thing I think about when I wake up and before I go to sleep, I daydream about HIM when he isn't there and when we're together I feel connected to him like I never imagined I could again. And, I feel as though I am falling in love with him.

 

A lot of people say you shouldn't jump into a relationship until you're completely ready; at first I did feel ready to move on but the more I was with my new boyfriend to begin the more I missed what I had with my ex (before it turned sour), I felt emotionally cold towards this new guy some days and I just felt strange.. I didn't make him feel as special as I should have some of the times but he stayed put thankfully. There was a couple of times I wanted to end the relationship out of sheer panic. Im glad I stuck in there though. It is difficult sometimes, that second relationship, especially when you felt so much for your last partner and the pain they gave you was immense. You don't just get over it like that. But the advice on here, to not move on with someone else for a long period of time. Sometimes you will feel you will never be ready, but if you feel SOMETHING for someone, you should try and see it through for a while. I think you know when something is REALLY REALLY not working out but if its due to fear, It will probably go away with some patience. I don't think there ever really is a 'time' to be with the next person or be finally over your ex. Obviously a few weeks - couple of months to get yourself back together (unless you really feel you need longer to be alone and recover) but don't push everyone away, not everyone is going to hurt you or not respect you, this next person may actually end up loving you more than you could ever imagine. They are out there and they are looking for you too!

 

If I hadn't of given him a chance, I'd have never met someone who listens to everything I say with interest, doesn't complain about being the one to make the food or get up and fetch drinks, someone who wants me to be with him and his friends - just the simple things. I feel like I am now onto something more special with him than I ever had with my ex boyfriend. Its only been a month and a half of us being together so it may sound stupid me saying all of what I have said but you know, time doesn't always mean anything when it comes to feelings towards someone.

 

All I am trying to say really is

 

1. You will move on

2. You will love again

3. Don't push everyone away

 

I know that it could have ended wrong with this new guy, I could've hurt him by my actions but I hope now the few weeks of hard work I put him through will be worth it for him because the walls are down, I can finally be affectionate again, I now feel emotionally open towards anything. I think sometimes you have to take a risk, sometimes the risk may hurt others but I think thats just the art of life....you risk things, you don't know if somethings going to work with someone, sometimes bad situations turn into good ones, sometimes a relationship can turn into something beautiful. Dont dismiss things because of your ex. Life is too short!

[mixhot]

hey, nice little story..and also i i am really happy for you!!

 

but i have a question, if you have only been seing the new guy for 1 and a half months, wouldnt that count you still being in the infatuation stage?? where you cant see the woods for the trees?? and both partys are on their best behavour, tring to charm eachothers pants off!! isnt it right that when you are in this stage you dont see there flaws as the RS is only just starting.. correct me if i am am wrong but i think its a few months down the line when you have to really realise what the RS is like..

 

just my 2 cents

[Snowy]

Interesting.

 

Rainbows, would you say that you feel like you're over your ex maybe because this new guy is feeding your ego?

 

Could you say you wouldn't miss your ex again if this new guy suddenly left you?

[mixhot]

thats a good point snowy,,

 

i dont want to put a downer on what she has and i do wish rainbows well, but i dont think a month and a half is long enough to realise that its going to be all roses in the future, unless you have known them for a while in the past..

 

knight in shining armor comes to mind..both on their best behavour in the beginning

[rainbows1]

Fair points from everyone and I do agree it is probably the honey moon stage, but so far I am far happier than before so I suppose you just have to go with the moment in time.

 

Firstly, I knew my new boyfriend for a couple of months before we got together as friends only. I doubt I'd pine for my ex again as I have already seen that there is better out there, we got back together it didn't work so it would be pointless wanting it back again in the foreseeable future; at least I hope I don't ever want him again, as I know there is a whole load of rejection and heartbreak to come from any relationship with him.

 

Its true that it may not end up being love or a long relationship or a successful one with my new boyfriend as its only been a short time, but most of us wear rose tinted glasses throughout a whole relationship which may last a few months to even a few years down the line. Admittedly its probably because I am young that I find it easy to move into new relationships and fall easily for someone new, however I've known older couples who haven't been together for very long before they've decided they want to spend the future with them... I suppose feeding my ego does help as it does with the start of any new relationship but I had gained confidence and independence just before I got back with my ex and maintained it after we broke up for the second time, I'm already confident in myself now a days to not see ego boosting from a partner as a huge importance in my life or to stay with someone because of it.