What to do long time after a break up?

[Stargirl2712]

So my ex and I broke up seven months ago cuz of difference in religious beliefs...we stayed close friends after for like five months (BIG mistake, I know). We basically acted like a couple, but I grew more attached to him. I noticed that he would talk to other girls so easily and ignore me...then when he saw me in person, he would act so lovey dovey. He started getting close to this girl who shares the same religious beliefs as him...and it started to really hurt me so i told him i needed space to move on...and now we aren't talking much anymore. However, i had his password to his facebook and i started checking it a lot when i found out about this other girl. I felt SO guilty....i would stop for a couple weeks then look again to see if he talked to her. I'm at the point where I feel so guilty and like the worst person ever...cuz what if he knows i logged onto his facebook? i didnt meddle or anything i was just too curious for my own good. idk how i'm supposed to feel after our unconventional breakup. what should i do?? and why the hell does it seem like he's already moved on and doesn't even care? How can someone who seems like he's so in love with me in person just completely ignore me when another girl just texts him? i don't get him at all. we go to the same university and have the same big group of mutual friends so i'm scared to go back to college in the fall cuz things are going to be SUPER different.

[karben]

I'm going through the same thing atm. Still in contact with ex, im pretty sure she's dating some new guy already. We were together 5 years tons and tons of drama. When I ask how can she move on and see other guys, her responses are, "I'm not moved on, I think about you all the time. Having someone new takes my mind off of our breakup." Chances are, he hasn't moved on. He's trying to, you cant expect him to dump you and then he's going to live in a hole the rest of his life. I'm sure he thinks about you. But 7 months is a long, long time. He owes you nothing. That 5 month stint of half and half did you NO good. Did he BU with you?

[pippy longstocking]

because you stayed in contact for those 5 months , you have just dragged your own personal healing on , so when these things happen you havent yet developed the strength to move on , get over it or heal at all.

 

he is able to do this because remember for him , you have been broken up now for 7 months , he has accepted it and started

to move on in his life ..

 

so you now need to put everything into getting your own healing done ...which includes never ever looking in his facebook again , unfortunately when you share the same friends I understand that it is not that easy to avoid them , but you must go

to college and you must continue your life ..

 

I imagine he will still cares deeply about you , but on some level he as accepted and that is what you need to do ..

 

take your grief own it ..work with moving on and just leave him and his fb alone ...sorry your feeling so hurt xx

[Stargirl2712]

He broke up with me because he went to a Christian conference and confided in the pastor about our relationship, and the pastor urged him to break it off. I guess he was able to accept it from the beginning. I just don't understand how he can almost two-time me...be semi-intimate with me in person, then completely go and talk to other girls and stop texting me when he's not around me. How can he move on when we were still so close?? I know I have to do my own healing, but I'm just angry! He seems to get everything he wants. This weekend, a mutual friend invited everyone for a get together and this new girl that he's been talking to was invited too (idk who invited her...most likely mutual friend because he's better friends with her). When I saw that invite on my facebook, i started panicking! Is it stupid to fear that all my mutual friends in the group will really like this girl and think she's better than me? i dont even know what my ex thinks of this girl. When I decided to talk to him to end our "friendship" post BU, he said he doesn't like this girl in that way and that he doesn't see a future with her, but he kept texting her because she initiated it. According to him, "it's hard for guys to say no to nice girls." I feel really hurt and want nothing to do with him yet I still don't want him to hate me. We broke up on a good note...and I don't want to tarnish that, but I feel like somehow I did! I'm not a bad person...I didn't meddle in his life or anything. I can easily stay away from his facebook, but why do I still feel so unresolved and just crappy? thank you so much for you support. It means a lot!