aussielis Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 have been seeing a guy for 5 weeks now once a week. we have only gone out one weekend night the whole 5 weeks the rest is during week. he doesnt seem to make plans to see me on weekends. last time he asked what i was doing on weekend i was out one night and the night i was free he was doing something with friends, this is now the 2nd time. should he be asking me along? or am i being to pushy and impatient?
Sarah2101 Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 I'm going through kinda the same situation :s I don't wanna be pushy or possessive either, he has friends that he's used to do things with and I can only respect that. He makes plans with friends sometimes in the weekend and thus we don't meet. This is what happened last weekend too, but on sunday he was just home doing nothing (but resting, I guess). I didn't ask him to meet and waited to see if he does, 'cause I wanna know if he misses me too or if I'm the only one tossing and missing him like hell. And then since monday he's been so sweet. Sometimes I'm thinking I gotta let him do what he's used to do with friends (and so do I, and I am, I just can't help but do that and not to book the whole weekend) so he can find his balance and then it's all great when we're together. I don't know if this makes sens, but I think the last thing one should be doing in this situation is to be pushy. I'm also thinking, we're only in the beginning (have been dating for 3 months), and when you don't know the guy very well you think it's either just friends time or he doesn't wanna be with me. So for now I'm just taking it day by day, and as long as it's going well with him I'm trying not to freak out when we don't meet for a few days, until I get to know him better. I hope some guys can answer this thread and shed some light on us. Regards, Sarah
Glowguy Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 Why don't you ask him out for a weekend night? I completely agree. Personally I love it when a girl I'm dating takes some initiative once in awhile. It shows interest. I don't think it's fair on him to deal with the expectation of asking you out all the time and planning every weekend after five dates. That would get exhausting.
Rose30 Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 Is it possible he is dating someone he is more interested on weekend nights? I think seeing each other once a week for the first month or so is good, I like moving slow but the fact that he doesn't make any time for you on the weekends would make me concerned. Why don't you suggest seeing each other on the weekend and see what he says? in a non pushy way.
bebeblondie Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 Unless he works weekends, he should be taking you out on the weekend in my opinion. Next time he asks to see you on a week night, ask if you can re-schedule for that Friday or Saturday.
Thorshammer Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 Well, the weekend woman is the most important. At least thats how i see it, and most of my friends live it. Ask him out on the weekend, dont waste your time, put the pressure on and get more intel.
aussielis Posted July 14, 2012 Author Posted July 14, 2012 well i asked him over for dinner on sunday night and he has agreed...
aussielis Posted July 14, 2012 Author Posted July 14, 2012 Is it possible he is dating someone he is more interested on weekend nights? I think seeing each other once a week for the first month or so is good, I like moving slow but the fact that he doesn't make any time for you on the weekends would make me concerned. Why don't you suggest seeing each other on the weekend and see what he says? in a non pushy way. ok i asked him over tmw night for dinner (sunday)
aussielis Posted July 14, 2012 Author Posted July 14, 2012 we were also talking about a movie where they 'nice' guy lost the girl, he say's to me 'you will end up with a nice guy' Hmmm *** doesnt he see any potential with us? this week has been the first week since we met that we have text every day normally its every 2nd and he instigates the texts.
aussielis Posted July 15, 2012 Author Posted July 15, 2012 so i invited him over for dinner tonight, ( i text him at lunch telling him what im making) he replies 3 hours later saying; he sexy one im down at my boss's place my phone is on charge, at a bbq i will let you know what im up to later?
aussielis Posted July 15, 2012 Author Posted July 15, 2012 this guy is 38 *** shouldnt he know better?
Rose30 Posted July 15, 2012 Posted July 15, 2012 you already made plans and he agreed, so i think its so disrespectful for him to say ill let u know what im up to later. if i were you I would hold off on the cooking, doesn't seem like he'll appreciate it at all.
HeartGoesOn Posted July 15, 2012 Posted July 15, 2012 so i invited him over for dinner tonight, ( i text him at lunch telling him what im making) he replies 3 hours later saying; he sexy one im down at my boss's place my phone is on charge, at a bbq i will let you know what im up to later? Are you absolutely sure this guy doesn't have another girlfriend, or is possibly married? Have you met any of his friends? Do you know where he lives? I'm sorry, but this situation sounds very shady.
aussielis Posted July 15, 2012 Author Posted July 15, 2012 i tried to call him after he text, he didnt answer so i text back to say 'are you coming for dinner or'? he replies with 'probably wont make it' i said 'hey well i thought you were coming and i bought all this food' he texts back 'yeah i know, im sorry babe, my boss got back from o/s and invited me down' i didnt reply.he loves his boss. im guessing he didnt answer the phone cos he knew i would go off at him. why didnt he have the decency to call me back? i would also assume he was drunk and had been drinking all day. yes i have been to his house and no im not sure if he has a girlfriend, he bought me lingerie last week and paid a lot of money for it. ive met one of his mates. what do i do now?
aussielis Posted July 15, 2012 Author Posted July 15, 2012 he was also the one that said 'you dont invite me over for dinner'?
Gimpyrks Posted July 15, 2012 Posted July 15, 2012 I'd call it a loss, without even thinking about the potential that he has another person on the side, the fact that he did that to you is disrespectful. If he does this early on without giving you the decency of giving you a heads up raises a red flag and i"m sure he'll do it again. =/
aussielis Posted July 15, 2012 Author Posted July 15, 2012 I'd call it a loss, without even thinking about the potential that he has another person on the side, the fact that he did that to you is disrespectful. If he does this early on without giving you the decency of giving you a heads up raises a red flag and i"m sure he'll do it again. =/ why though would be so disrespectful? to me do you think its just him in general?
Gimpyrks Posted July 15, 2012 Posted July 15, 2012 It makes me wonder if it's him in general and not just towards you. I feel that it takes no time to just quickly call or text someone and say "hey i won't be able to make it" and i don't mean doing that 5 minutes before said date, but in the afternoon or late morning. It just sends a red flag for me.
aussielis Posted July 15, 2012 Author Posted July 15, 2012 It makes me wonder if it's him in general and not just towards you. I feel that it takes no time to just quickly call or text someone and say "hey i won't be able to make it" and i don't mean doing that 5 minutes before said date, but in the afternoon or late morning. It just sends a red flag for me. hmmm so you think its just him in general as in selfish and doesnt give a toss about anyone but himself? this is not the first time this has happened and ive had words with him about his unreliability, what do i do from here?
aussielis Posted July 15, 2012 Author Posted July 15, 2012 and why would he just text instead of calling me?
Gimpyrks Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 Because people are so wrapped up in texting they have forgotten how to talk on the phone. I've come accross this with most of the guys I have dated within the past 4 years. I think that he only thinks about himself at this point in his life and he doesn't see you as someone that he need to keep in the loop, if that makes sense. If he brushes you off so easily he either doesn't care enough, or isn't mature to care enough. It doesn't say anything about you, it says many words about him.
aussielis Posted July 16, 2012 Author Posted July 16, 2012 hmmm but i called him and he didnt answer and i text to say i had called surely he should have phoned me then? it makes me think there is something wrong with me that he doesn't care enough? would he be different with someone else? he claims he has had girlfriends before! what do i do now?
Rose30 Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 There is nothing wrong wiht you, he is just not that interested. Don't waste your time with him and don't try to find fault with yourself. anyone that makes plans with you then cancels on you 5 minutes before the date isn't worth the bother.
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