Experiencing depression at a young age.

[Aurum]

Im a 14 year old boy ( yeah yeah i know its young) and i have been getting very depressed lately. This is mainly because of one of my friends. I love her very much and my heart hurts when im not with her and i get jealous easily with her. The problem is, i think she likes my best friend. I am heartbroken. Today me, best friend and the girl went rollerblading. It was fun. But. At times she would touch my friend a lot and play around with him while i stood by "laughing" when inside it felt like i was dying. But my friend says he doesnt like her so that made me feel better since i know who he likes. But heres the complicated bit.

 

At school, my and the girl have 2 classes together which isnt a lot but we talk at lunch. And in both of these classes we ALWAYS sit together. We both get upset if for some reason we cant. And i dont know if she likes me or my friend. And i feel like i only love HER. No one else. To me, she is my life. But i dont mean that much to her. Sometimes at school i fall into a deep depression and no one seems to care. They just say "oh stop being so emo" and they never really ask whats wrong. And i feel unlovable. The girl likes to hug my friend a lot as well as other people. Except me. No one hugs me. No one touches me. I cant even really hug my parents anymore. I need human contact. But i only want it from the girl. I am NOT a stalker. I am NOT obsessing about her. I just love her. Someone help.

[Snowy]

Ask her for a hug then. Go on.

[EQIQ]

You have become the "gay" friend. I am not saying you are truly gay, as in homosexual. Just that in her eyes you are a friend, and only a friend. She feels no attraction to you. You are in the friend zone.

 

If you look around these forums, you will see tons of threads, posts, stories, about guys that loved their wives, girlfriends, whoever, with all of their hearts and would give them EVERYTHING, bend over backwards for them. And in the end they got cheated on, dumped, used and abused. And now, they have to go through this break-up, deal with this massive hammer to their confidence, when they were not very confident to begin with... and ugh. Sucks.

 

So is it wrong to love women? NO! It is not, heck I love my girl. But you need to have a backbone man! You need confidence, you need to know your boundaries, you need to be respected. You need to be A MAN. Right now you are not being a man, you are being an effeminate wussy. Don't worry about it, many if not all of us have been there.

 

You are young, very young, only 14, I am young too. But it is good for us to learn these things now, when we are young, and learn how to deal with them, so that in the future, we will spare ourselves a lot of pain and hurt, AND get a lot of satisfaction from our interaction with women.

 

Bottom line, I think the people that tell you to "stop being emo" are correct. You need to change. Analyze yourself, study about insecurity and confidence, and become a man. You have tons of time, might as well start early.

[jaciej]

Remember you are still going through puberty so your hormones are probably all over the place right now and you are reading more into situations than there really is. Because she hugs or touches him doesnt necessarily mean she is interested in him in that way, she most like sees him as a safe friend, maybe he is more extrovert and approachable and she probably senses your mood as you stand on the side-lines

 

Try and firstly be a "friend" with no expectations, and get involved, be cheeky and ask for a hug

[EQIQ]

Just had to add this one. This is why she won't hug you, etc:

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And when I say to have a backbone, I don't mean this:

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[lukeb]

Wow you are light years ahead of when I was 14 years old, and in some ways I am glad that I stayed a kid for a little longer than most kids. My teen years were definitely not my happiest years, things got a lot better in my 20's but it was really in my 30 that I was my happiest. Things are still pretty good in my 40's certainly financially they are and I have more freedom to do as I want. I guess I just want to say things will get better. Try not to obsess too much over one person and try to broaden you horizons and more open to other people. At your age especially become more active physically, they give you that natural healthy high, and generally will make you feel better. Whatever that physical activity is it has to be something you enjoy doing. For the most part though hang in there. I agree with you about the physical contact, but society has become so "pedo"phobic you are basically considered off limits for physical contact and that is a shame.

[Joleen]

This may not be much help, but honestly, high school just blows. Make your goal to just survive it and get out, and then you'll be in this whole new world full of interesting people who like you for who you are. It's going to be a long 4 years but you'll get through it, I promise.