Wilbur015 Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 Hello again, I should start off saying that im a shy guy. I don't talk a lot until I get to know you and get comfortable with you. Then I can talk and talk. I cannot tell for the life of me whats considered flirting and whats considered being nice nowadays. Even though im shy I get along with pretty much everyone. My problem is I have spent the last 2-3 years of my life getting it sorted out. In the last few years I have gotten financially stable, I have bought a car, I have an all right job. I just dont know how to approach a girl. I know it makes me sound like a loser, I just dont know how to read the signs. What I may consider flirting, some consider it being nice and vice versa. I never know when its a good time to say anything or make a move. It could be that im lacking confidence, but im working on that. I try starting conversations with random strangers sometimes. I guess what im asking is what are the best ways to differentiate signs of flirting and being nice, and where are the best places to meet people. What I have been trying isn't working to well right now. Im not much of a drinker so I dont go to bars often (maybe thats my mistake?)
Metuant Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 Hello, You are certainly not alone in the challenges you face. To answer your question specifically: It comes with practice and experience. Ironically the more relaxed you are with a girl the more likely you are to perceive her state of mind and flirt back. Please be advised that there is no quick fix or easy win for your dilemma. To get better requires consistent effort and going in despite feeling uncomfortable. That said, statistically you are likely to stick to the first girl that you will be able to get close to rather than expend the effort to become less shy. Finally in order to get some practice in full comfort you can search the seduction community sites for approach videos where you will be able to see what flirting look like.
epsilon2x Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 Don't get too sucked into all that seduction community BS. It's easy to spot those guys out because they all have the same lines. Here's some real advice. Go out and observe how other guys interact with girls and notice what traits girls like about guys. Think of flirting as making fun of a girl with a smile on your face. What you really need is practice. I just use non verbal cues to know whether or not a girl is into me a lot of times. Example: If I'm standing in line waiting to check out from a store, I might comment to a girl "hey, I like your shoes" Something stupid like that just to get her attention. I'll just wait to see how she looks at me and how warm her response is back to me and start up a conversation from there. It's not rocket science talking to girls. You just don't have the experience and are scared to try. The only thing stopping you from warming up to strangers are the bad voices in your head telling you that you're not good enough. Tell those voices to shut up.
MasterPo Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 You got pretty good advice and I think what you are looking for is an "instruction pamphlet" on social interaction. It doesn't exist and we are all just a bit different. My 3 cents to you, go out and like the other poster said, watch and interact. Bars, events, clubs, anywhere you got available women. Take your nice ride out and do your research. Confidence plays a great deal. Alot young women go to the above places to meet people as well. Smile, be friendly, talk to ALL of them if can. If your taste runs to Prom Queens and their equivalent, then good luck with that. Interaction with women is what you need to get comfortable with before you go for exotic game. Talk to the older women, make friends and what the hell - ask them for advice. I'm sure it you may not like it but sort it over and maybe the mullet needs to go. I'm just saying.. I'm sure you find the "secret" that works for you. Treat them nice, don't be a jerk and don't ever hit one. Good luck.
Pineapplejuice Posted July 14, 2012 Posted July 14, 2012 What you really need is practice. I just use non verbal cues to know whether or not a girl is into me a lot of times. Example: If I'm standing in line waiting to check out from a store, I might comment to a girl "hey, I like your shoes" Something stupid like that just to get her attention. I'll just wait to see how she looks at me and how warm her response is back to me and start up a conversation from there. This is actually a really good example! Just try it out!
Wilbur015 Posted July 18, 2012 Author Posted July 18, 2012 Thanks everyone I appreciate the advice, being shy im not really good at talking to alot of people. I think ill try what epsilon2x said. Ill let you know how that works...Sorry for sounding like such a wuss with this
epsilon2x Posted July 18, 2012 Posted July 18, 2012 Thanks everyone I appreciate the advice, being shy im not really good at talking to alot of people. I think ill try what epsilon2x said. Ill let you know how that works...Sorry for sounding like such a wuss with this Look forward to hearing how you do. And remember one thing. The word "shy" is a nice way of saying "scared". Women don't want a scared man. Use that as motivation.
Pineapplejuice Posted July 18, 2012 Posted July 18, 2012 The word "shy" is a nice way of saying "scared". That's an eye opener for me, thanks. Pretty straight forward, although never thought of it.
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