alwayssmile24 Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 i have finally blocked my ex's number and he is out of my life. after basically cheating on me and me taking him back under his controlling conditions.. i realized i've had enough and this is breaking me. i've never blocked his number. this feels like a deep re-opened cut on my heart. i want to be ok. so many tears. he wrote me a note after he slept with the girl twice about how I'm everything he wants.. when i started being his friend again..it was like a hassle. every time i tried to hang it was a no, or it was a yes and we would hook up. every time i tried to talk to him he would sound so uninterested. i feel like an IDIOT for giving him another chance. im so embarrassed and so..so..soo....hurt i have never blocked his number before.. i am sad about it almost. i love him so much..even if he is a controlling manipulative jerk. i miss him already.
bigsix Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 Stick to your guns and don't settle for less. Actions rewarded are actions repeated.
MikNomis Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 Sorry to hear about your situation. This is one of those times that you must listen to your head over your heart, as you know. Because like you've said, he's a completely manipulative jerk and you know he won't change.
alwayssmile24 Posted July 12, 2012 Author Posted July 12, 2012 i just need someone to tell me I'm going to be okay again. i know it but i don't believe it im so so sad. it sucks so much when you want someone so badly and they don't want you. even after all the crap you've been through
luminousone Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 You will be fine! And so great that you are standing up for yourself! Okay so you gave it a try getting back together but it didnt work out- at least you tried and you would have alwsys wondered if you hadnt given it a try. And he showed his true ugly colors. Of course you miss him and think you still love him but everytime you start to reminisce then think about the bad times too - the cheating, ways in which you are not compatible, annoying habits, different values from you, etc. Eventually I realzed that I didnt miss him but I grieved the loss of the hopes and dreams for the future and I missed the companionship. Be kind to yourself and stay strong!
LMJ Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 You dont really love him. You are too attached to him. You need to keep your self esteem and not let him do that to you again. You finally gave yourself the power to control your own destiny by blocking his humber. Dont lose that power.
ZhaoZilong5 Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 I'm not trying to one-up you here, but maybe because of how far my 2nd to last ex pushed, I came out not so attached. Here's some background story first. When I was 13, a 12-year-old girl and I were interested in each other. Within a year, she asked me if I loved her. Me, having always been a nerd, had studied and believed that a young teenager can't possibly no what love is. I told her no, but that I did love her platonically. She was very upset, and she initiated NC for a few years. Looking back, I really wasn't in love with her. Fast-forward 4 or 5 years. She got raped by a guy who got her drunk and took her to his house. Like many young girls, she didn't realize that it was rape Sad, but true. She's not the only one I know who thought that sex while under the influence of alcohol wouldn't legally be considered rape. She was still in NC with me, but because of the NC, I didn't know about it. This incident caused her to distrust men. When I turned 19, I left town and moved into a university city to be with my friends. She IMed me on AIM one day asking for Trigonometry help. I was kicked out about two months later in April 2009 and moved back to my hometown. We reconnected over the summer. During August, I told her that I wished she was available. Looking back, I think this was pretty much an admission for her to lead me on. We were flirty and friendly, but I wasn't her boyfriend. Things were going badly with her BF, and she talked all sorts of crap out him. They broke up on Halloween. Also looking back, I'm pretty sure her ex was probably a good guy. We started dating, but of course, it wasn't mean to last. She was pregnant with the guy's kid prior in April, so I paid for the abortion. I also paid $7,600 in hospital bills to save her damn life. It was for ultimately a bunch of meds, a blood transfusion, and 2 of the 3 hospital visits she had. She met a guy about a month later in November and started cheating on me. I had no idea; I was too busy working and paying for her ****. Looking back, she used me for my money, as an emotional crutch, and as her doormat. I later found out in September of 2010 that she's been cheating on me this entire time. My butt was in school during the day and working the graveyard shift. I always had my suspicions, but I foolishly believed her whenever I talked to her. In vino veritas is NOT true by the way. She got drunk one night and lied through her teeth to me. It was an emotional roller coaster. She would accuse me of not trusting her, etc. etc. Being naive, inexperienced with LTRs, and young, I fell for it all. Even when her best friend told me everything, I didn't believe her. She "borrowed" money from me to get her car out of the impound. On the day she was supposed to return it, I got her text from her "father" on her phone saying that she got into an accident on the way to the hospital. I talked to her father and aunt personally, and they had no idea what I was talking about. After finally getting a hold of her, she would swear up and down at me without letting me say a word. She initiated NC again. I was depressed for maybe two weeks...three weeks tops. I became angry, vengeful, etc. She called me a month later telling me how she was talking to her cousin and saying how much she missed me. At that point, I didn't care about anything she had to say, so I have her a bunch of one-word, apathetic responses. She got the hint and was upset that I didn't want to even be friends. I said, "I never said that." (I really didn't care at all. I was completely over her). She hung up. She's been trying to contact me over the years. I actually contacted her last month to ask me if she still loved me. The reason why was because I just got out of my BU, and I was wondering if I did the same thing as I did with the cheating ex that the current ex would want me back. I'm not even sure what to call it. Maybe NIC? The cheating ex contacted me once every few months, and sometimes, I just wasn't around to even respond. Maybe the way I healed was more "malicious," but focusing my anger on my cheating ex helped me get over her very, very quickly. I was in love with her. It was a 13-month "relationship." Two or three weeks seems to be a VERY quick time for somebody to move on, but I guess it was unique in my situation. I had been emotionally abused so much that I stopped caring, and towards the end, what should have been depression didn't last very long and turned to anger. Anger's generally not a good thing, but I wouldn't be against using it in a case like this. After all, you have all right to be angry. You were betrayed by the closest person to you in the worst way possible. In your ex's case, I want to say he's most likely stringing you along and using you for sex. I'm glad to have read your OP, because it gives me a new perspective on how unattractive being nonchalant/indifferent can be to some people. Supposedly, it's attractive to people with low self-esteem, and in this case (not to insult you), it seems like you have low self-esteen, but it didn't work on you. I apologize for digressing. You truly, 100% don't deserve a person like this. It's not even the fact that he didn't want you. It's the fact that he cheated on you. How you heal is up to you. NC is the best way to go, and maybe redirect your emotions from depression into something else. I'm somewhat in the same boat. My last ex broke up with me a month ago due to G.I.G.S. She has feelings for me, but she needs the space to grow up. It hurts that somebody who told me she loved me, wanted to be with me forever, wanted to get married and have my kids...essentially left for greener pastures, and the one thing that bothers me the most is that she'll probably sleep with the guy she's seeing. She's only been sexually active in about half of her relationships, so that's something I'll use to lessen the pain. Any hopes for immediate reconciliation are over as of this morning, so I'm going to go super LC according to Zorba's posts in the Rebound thread. I'm getting closer and closer to moving on every day. I had been pulled back to the fence a few times earlier, but after this morning, I'm going to be moving on quicker. It sucks that all of the girls that I've met so far are completely incompatible (always drunk, too traumatized to have sex). It sucks that ENA and LoveShack have told me that my most recent ex is a super rare breed and that I was super lucky to have her. This, coupled with my ex telling me that the BU wasn't my fault at all, it was all hers, the G.I.G.S. on her part, makes it a mindf*ck to me. How am I supposed to move on when other people are practically telling me that she'll most likely forever be on my pedestal? I was the best ex she ever had according to her, she still somewhat idolizes me (apparently not enough), but the distance and us being students killed it. It's like...false hope everywhere for reconciliation. My ex has been trying her best to not give me false hope. It's ironic that forum posters in many places are giving me so much more false hope than her. It's so unbelievable that it's hilarious. So, how am I dealing with the situation? Super LC, because yes, I still want to leave the door open. Every situation is different. She's the kind of person that if I initiate NC with, then she will respectfully never contact me again no matter how she feels. Anxiety and stuff, so she'd be too afraid to break NC anyway even if I did want to reconcile. What else am I doing? I just removed her from my wallpaper on my phone a few minutes ago. I also ran today for about 3 miles and pushed my pathetic body to its limit. Truthfully, my mind was on her, but not in a sad way. I'm not as stressed out or anxious anymore. While running however, all I could focus on was the cramp in my chest, the exhaustion in my legs and right hip, the distance I had left to travel until I reached my destination, a cold cup of water waiting for me, spending time with my friends playing a game that I liked, etc. Said game was something that I associate with my ex. I introduced her to the series, and she tried to buy me that specific game for my birthday. >.> I've gotten over that too somewhat. Again, just to make sure, in your case, I would stick with NC. That **** doesn't deserve you. Cheating is the worst thing somebody can do in a relationship...well, besides murder I guess. Sorry if this was a long post. Tl;dr: NC. Exercise. Redirect your emotions.
Ms Darcy Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 Ask yourself if this is really love you feel for him or something else. If so, what is it and how can you move past it?
Ithurtsless Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 My ex its just like that and i am lik you right noe, nobody understand, my skype is antonella9772 i think we should talk couse my friends doesnt understant.
Ithurtsless Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 trust me we need to talk, i am going elieve me I'm having the same problem, only that my ex is a real *******. You will never think someone can be like that. antonella9772 thats mu skype.
alwayssmile24 Posted July 16, 2012 Author Posted July 16, 2012 i gave in and we are talking & hooking up again.. i feel very weak. idk what it is about him.. i can't shut him out and he's not being malicious. he just wants to be friends ..just our chemistry is too much for us we are immature i guess. idk. i don't want to be hurt
Chinafish Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 I really feel for you. I find it impossible to block my ex and do NC. They are like a drug to us.
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