Girls that mess you around - why?

[jj1985]

Hello!

 

Ill try and keep it short!

 

Was seeing a girl for a month (dating for 3 months prior) we split up 8 days ago. Basically we were a perfect match, nobody did anything wrong, no arguements however she fell pregnant, she wanted to abort it and i agreed for many sensible reasons that we discussed. I was worried sick about her, tried to be there for her and the day she had the abortion she became very distant and pushed me out, she didnt even let me know the day she was due at the clinic. This eventually unfortunately led to our split.

 

Anyway - the title of my thread isnt about said girl, it is about a girl i dated 2 years ago. A girl that i was near enough seeing and actually planned go start seeing me.

 

2 years ago i met her in the summer. She had just completed her 1st year at a university an hours drive away where she lived and she was staying at home near me. We had around 3 weeks dating before she moved back to start her 2nd year. We got on perfectly well and the plan was for me to drive up to see her once she had settled into a new house and gone out the 1st week of being there partying.

 

Anyway she invited me up to hers for the weekend, made all our plans and then came saturday morning. I woke up happy knowing i was going to see her and was very excited! I checked my phone and she text me saying "hi i dont think you should come" and never really gave me an explanation. This mega messed with my head! This girl really liked me and even spent 48 hours texting/ringing off her mates phone when she lost hers.

 

Anyways this ties into the girl ive just finished with, the girl from 2 years ago randomly inboxed me on facebook on saturday talking a lot and joking. She asked dopid i want to go out shopping the next day but unfortunately i was working till 7pm so couldnt. She said its ok we can go out monday. Monday came and she text saying she was going the gym at night. This girl has now gone quiet! Why?! I suppose ive not text her a great deal! I asked her to come out on tuesday with no reply. This made me feel ace after being so depressed!! I was focusing on her instead! I was thinking of just randomly turning up at hers? Shes at home now after finishing uni for good, has no job amd i should just turn up in the day when her family are at work? Is this ever a good idea just turning up? Then i though whats the point? Shes gone a bit quiet?

 

 

Iike i said ive not hounded her but is she 1 to forget?

 

We did get on immense and i think she thought she would never see me and had she not been back at uni it would of worked out. I understand now uni girls study at night and when they arnt studying they have a part time job at night and when they armt doing those they are out partying and think this was her reasons.

[ZhaoZilong5]

Dating now is nothing like dating was even 20 years ago. It's the age of mindgames. Even people who consciously refuse to play mindgames are susceptible to them. It's an age when we're better able to understand human psychology and use it to our advantage.

 

There are also girls who don't know what they want. Young girls especially who haven't fully experienced life. Girls with low self-esteem that are too afraid that what they have might not be real because it's so good. Girls who are always wondering if there's something better out there. This last sentence isn't surprising. Do you know how often the phrase "There are plenty of fish in the sea." is used? If there's *always* someone better out there, then why would people ever commit? I think sometimes that advice is taken too extremely.

 

There are women who have have been jaded by bad men. There's also advice all over the Internet to hide so much about yourself on your first few dates. Imo, that's just wasting people's time. Being dishonest at the beginning to let everything explode later on in the relationship when it's much more painful is selfish and stupid advice. It's true that the good ones are usually taken. It's true that the desirable ones are rarely single. It's all a matter of luck and timing.

 

I've dated girls anywhere between 12 and 50, all legally. Obviously I was still a minor when I dated that 12-year-old you sickos. Honestly man, uni girls fall into the age group where they suffer from sh*t like G.I.G.S., quarter-life crisis, early-twenties itis, etc. It's such a quick transition from living with parents to total freedom that makes them not want to experience it all. Work and school really do take a lot of time, and having a boyfriend also cuts down on their alone time for relaxation. From what I've seen, I think you'd realistically have to find somebody who's 25+... Of course there are always exceptions, but those exceptions are rare during the present.

[jj1985]

Hello thanks for your reply, it makes very good reading.

 

My friend has been saying the same. Im 26 and i need go go for a girl who is ag least 23+.

 

the girl i just split up with was only 21.

 

My friend said everyone he know who was seeing a youmger girl or who was in a relationship when they were in early 20s, they arnt with that girl anymore. The more i thnk about it, all my mates who have been in long term relationships from when they were in their early 20s it hasn't worked out.

 

If my ex hadn't of got pregnant, would she of got to 23/24 and flipped? Said she was bored and not lived enough in her relationship life?

 

I think the uni girl from 2 years ago has remembered how good we was a and now has a lot of time on her hands has got in touch. I certainly wont be chasing.