Looking for the positive

[itsallgrand]

Honestly I used to think positivity was stupid. I was a very negative person and had no real intention to change it.

 

These days, seeing how some positivity makes so much difference, healthy and realistic positivity that doesn't deny the actual challenges of life and the negatives, I'm keen to explore more ways to use positivity to rocket my life.

 

It's starting to get fun. I see that positivity in action is not so much about turning a negative on its head, as searching for what else might be out there that is actually positive beyond the negatives. Then focusing on that, changing your focus. The negatives are easy to fixate on, and can be like a drug, obsessing the mind and obscuring all else around it.

 

SO my question is,

 

What do you do when a negative fixates in your mind? What do you do to bring positivity into your life?

 

Any and all suggestions and comments are welcome.

[journeynow]

Good question.

 

Sometimes I make it into a game. The negative is stuck in my mind and I go over and over it, so I'll counter act by trying to come up with 100 positive things about it or connected to it. I'll make the list in my head while doing something active or productive, like walking or chores. I may not make it to 100, because somewhere along the line I might get distracted by something unrelated (or seemingly unrelated) but more positive and I'll forget about the negative thing, at least for a time, and the negative won't be so powerful.

[Seraphim]

I think I was born with an endless optimism. Something get me down yes, but over all I look for the positive because being positive sure makes life easier to handle.

[itsallgrand]

Good question.

 

Sometimes I make it into a game. The negative is stuck in my mind and I go over and over it, so I'll counter act by trying to come up with 100 positive things about it or connected to it. I'll make the list in my head while doing something active or productive, like walking or chores. I may not make it to 100, because somewhere along the line I might get distracted by something unrelated (or seemingly unrelated) but more positive and I'll forget about the negative thing, at least for a time, and the negative won't be so powerful.

 

So just for the sake of an example, say the negative was "I feel like crap". What types of things might you say to yourself or go over in your head?

 

thanks for the responses already! Awesome.

[Celadon]

What a terrific topic, itsallgrand. Thank you for starting the thread. I tend to think along the negative side, so anything that could help me stay out of the pessimism pit would be helpful.

 

I've heard that ending the day by writing down three things you're grateful for will train your brain to LOOK for positive things during the day. So I'm trying to do that.

 

The hard part is that "thinking about the positive" has -- to me -- always sounded like trying to paste a happy face over what's REALLY happening, if you KWIM. I like the idea of finding positive things that are simultaneously part of the bad thing, though.

 

However, sometimes, negative situations go to an issue that you need to resolve, such as "I don't want to go to this event that I promised to go to because I want to do what *I* want to do with my time tonight." Simply saying, "I will find good things about the event" doesn't really answer the question of your not being in control of your time.

 

(BTW, I would love to get some ideas for turning this into a positive. )

 

ETA: Regarding "I feel like crap" ... maybe you could think of the things that you NEED to do that day and then give yourself an "out" on everything else that isn't essential, thereby taking care of yourself, which is a positive thing. IDK.

[Seraphim]

I will give you an example for me recently which being positive saved me almost literally. I am still on my holiday but at the beginning day I had a situation in which I was caused a MASSIVE panic attack that lasted for about 36 hours non stop. I am severely clausterphobic. For those with clausterphobia you feel when in a panic that you will run out of air and die. My husband looked up talking positively to myself to stop the attack. You yell, STOP, in your head to the bad thoughts and replace them with positive ones. It took me a day of positive reaffirmation but I pulled myself out of that attack and I have been able to continue my holiday with no other treatment.

[Cheetarah]

I'm glad to see a thread like this. I can be very negative and I too, thought positivity was "stupid". Sometimes I still do. But there's something to be said for the effect it has on people and their lives, so I can't shun it. It doesn't come easy to me. When everything is pouring down and someone says "At least you have your health", I want to slap them sideways. That seems too, I don't know...too BIG a step for me to take in the positivity department, if that makes any sense. I need small.

 

I visit another forum in which we have a "Three things you're grateful for today" thread. I think these sorts of things are more manageable and agree that it helps to "train" your mind. I post in it everyday, no matter how insignificant and/or ridiculous it seems, when I can't seem to dig out anything else(i.e., My new shoes make my calves look great).

[journeynow]

So just for the sake of an example, say the negative was "I feel like crap". What types of things might you say to yourself or go over in your head?

 

thanks for the responses already! Awesome.

 

Well, I might say to myself "I feel like crap, but I also can find 100 things I feel positive about....

1. I'm glad that I'm taking a walk

2. I'm happy that my feet aren't hurting anymore so that I CAN walk

3. I like this path I'm walking on

4. It's great that I live in the woods and this path is out my back door

5. I'm glad that Mr. T and Ms. M let me know about this place

6. I have great neighbors

7. The weather is nice

8. I don't live where there is heavy traffic and smelly pollution

9. I'm glad I have time for a walk

10. I love how the light filters through the trees

11. (noticing moss on the path) That moss is so thick and soft and emerald green—I love it.

12. The air is fresh

13. It feels good to breathe deep

14. I'm glad I CAN breathe deeply

15. I remember my yoga class I took long ago and how much it helped me

16. My yoga teacher was a great guy

17. I'm so glad I made changes in my life back then that led me here to this beautiful part of the country

18. The sky is so blue (or if it's raining, I'm glad we are not having a drought)

19. I love these tall pines

20. These shoes are comfortable

21. I'm glad I found them and could afford them

22. I've done ok, supporting myself..."

 

and so on...

 

or until I REALLY want to think of something else, like plans to meet with friends, or a work project, or interesting possibilities for my future, or about getting a dog, or a hobby (none of which make me feel like crap).

[annie24]

It helps me to think of something positive that will happen in the future, or to plan something. I mau feel like crap, but I have a trip coming up, or am getting dinner with a friend, or even my favorite tv show will be on tonight.

[itsallgrand]

Thank you all for the great ideas! Really.

 

I'm going to get some use of it right now. lol.

 

Though I feel badly right now, I know tomorrow I will see my friends shining face and ten million stories at twelve million clicks a second. God, I love that. She's just great.

 

And tomorrow, I will see my bros new set up, and get to see him all excited about that, and it is always good to see him. Makes me feel at home.

 

And though I feel kinda sad tonight and def tired, I am glad to have my nice place, my comfy bed, air conditioning! lol, a chance to get up again tomorrow morning as far as I can tell, and there are people in this world who love me. And I love them. This all brings me a lot of comfort tonight.

 

By the way, I am grateful for all of you too. Some of you, it's been years. And still, your kindness keeps going.