GOANUBIS Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 Ok so in my school, there was these two people who everyone thought were dating. I did to and i even came up with their couple name. So the three of us became really good friends, and the guy thought i was good enough friends with the girl to get them together. He told me he was completley and tottally in love with her (enough to die for her). So by the end of this year he wants to be her boyfriend. I have tried getting them alone but she is too popular. She is only kind of interested in him but dreams of marrying a different guy in our english class. I told my friend he would never get out of the friend zone with her unless he gives her a kiss. He didnt! Its summer now so he can't see her and she wont text him so he is telling me every thing he cant tell her. I guess thats ok but now i kinda feel like he just tells me so he can spend time with me. He calls me every now and then,but i never answer so things dont get weird. I text him to ask why he called but he always says it was an accident (that happens every two hours?) He knows i've never been in a relationship so why come to me for advice? I would never date him out of decency to my other friend but i'm still considering it. What do i do???????
pippy longstocking Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 how old are you all ...? has he actually asked you out on a date ?
Roxie84 Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 He's interested in you. One year in high school seems like a huge era or milestone in life. It sounds like enough time has passed, and you two have spent enough time together that his interests have changed. If you wouldn't feel comfotable dating him, don't. If you're friend would be okay with it, then see where it goes if you're interested. If I remember high school correctly, girls have this whole "code" where you don't date a guy your friend likes. Once you're out of that whole game where the same 80 people in your grade are the centre of your universe, this code tends to fade (with a few exceptions). The calls are no accident lol, he digs you. If you like hanging out with him and being friends, maybe find your own way of making it clear to him that you're not interested but still like his company. Take this as a learning experience - when people start to involve you in their crushes, dating and relationships... run fast, run far! lol
GOANUBIS Posted July 11, 2012 Author Posted July 11, 2012 Ok so to Shooting Star we are about to go to middle school and no he has not asked me out. And roxi every 1 at skool thinks i am a girly girl so he tries to( i think) impress me by playing the violoin, cooking, being am expert on my fav things, etc.
pippy longstocking Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 I dont know what age that is ...haha sorry
Roxie84 Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 Middle school is Grade 6, 7 and 8.. so if the OP is in the States, she's either 11 or 12. Shooting Star, I just realized I can't handle this lol
GOANUBIS Posted July 11, 2012 Author Posted July 11, 2012 Ok but i really do want to be sure thats the way he felt before i just tell him i dont feel like that
Roxie84 Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 Well you shouldn't feel obligated to say something to him... You can take the passive approach: just hang out with him as usual, pretending everything is normal. And if he tells you he likes you, just tell him nicely that you don't want a boyfriend. Or you can get this over with: tell him you get the feeling that he likes you, and just in case, you want to let him know you just see him as a good friend. He's a young guy, so if you do this, guaranteed he'll say something like "no, I didn't like you anyway." But don't take it to heart, that's just how young guys defend themselves.
GOANUBIS Posted July 11, 2012 Author Posted July 11, 2012 Am i spposed to tell the girl about the situation? And how do i let the guy down easy (we are still friends)
GOANUBIS Posted July 11, 2012 Author Posted July 11, 2012 Thanx for the advice roxie. But hes going to london for vacation soon and he keeps saying hes going to buy me things from the olympics. I'm not sure how to take that
pippy longstocking Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 ahh well roxi has it all covered here .. house of anubis is fab by the way isn't it ... I agree with roxi , you don't have to tell him unless he directly asks you for a date and if he does and you really don't want that , just kindly tell him that you value his friendship but that is all.
pippy longstocking Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 Thanx for the advice roxie. But hes going to london for vacation soon and he keeps saying hes going to buy me things from the olympics. I'm not sure how to take that well you could just laugh it off and say "don't you waste your money on me , just enjoy your holiday" at least then he knows your encouraging this .
GOANUBIS Posted July 11, 2012 Author Posted July 11, 2012 Yeah i luv house of anubis! But anyway do i tell the girl about the situation?
pippy longstocking Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 yeah I think I would ...I just re read your op and you have all become friends , so in that respect you keeping everything out in the open ..and also once you confide in her she might be able to help you with any awkwardness ... my girl is 13 and stuff is rattling around in your head , your all finding your way with this ..who fancies who , who is making a move on who , who is dumping who ..and funnily enough her ( my daughter , emily) friends ex , is now turning to my daughter because he is upset he has been dumped ... and emily has told her friend that he is mailing her on face book ..so there are no secrets. you have to always try and approach these things with little drama and just be kind to one anothers feelings , and your doing real good here because your considering everyone . Just try and let it be smoothed over and let it pass with as little drama as you can and hopefully all remain friends.
GOANUBIS Posted July 11, 2012 Author Posted July 11, 2012 Ok thx becuz she one of the more "violent" people it would be better if i told her rather than she finds out
pippy longstocking Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 Ok thx becuz she one of the more "violent" people it would be better if i told her rather than she finds out oh god .....great ... yeah always best to be upfront and above board ...that way no one can ever accuse you of anything ..see you already have your head screwed on the right way
GOANUBIS Posted July 11, 2012 Author Posted July 11, 2012 Omg this year year got a letter in my locker said that i was the best thing that ever happened to someone and that until he saw me he was never happy. That was not from the same guy because it also said they would look forward to seeing me in exploratory, and my friend is not in that class. I had no idea who wrote it or why they were stalking me. believe me i tried finding out who they were but the year went on with a few more secretive notes, but at the last week of school they said they'di show up if i stoped looking for them Eventually i did but the note rider just replided" sorry my love but i can't show you who i am. until next year i will keep you in my heart. I will have yet another year to love you before, someone else claims you. I wish i could show you who i really am but you are called by dibs." What the heck? I might have been fine if it wasnt for the dibs part.
pippy longstocking Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 Omg this year year got a letter in my locker said that i was the best thing that ever happened to someone and that until he saw me he was never happy. That was not from the same guy because it also said they would look forward to seeing me in exploratory, and my friend is not in that class. I had no idea who wrote it or why they were stalking me aww I want to be at school and have notes in my locker ...oh I wonder who it is ...oh its fab ...can I come to school haha
pippy longstocking Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 oh I didn;t see the full post ... so this has been going on a while ...look if this has got frightening for you and you feel this is serious and effecting you then you must talk to someone .
GOANUBIS Posted July 11, 2012 Author Posted July 11, 2012 Wouldn't that dibs part ruin the mood for you? I thought it was tottally sexist
pippy longstocking Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 well I am not 100% sure what the dibs bit is .. I presumed it meant he would show you who he was but someone else has got you first or made it known that they want you so they have dibs ...is that still what it means ?
GOANUBIS Posted July 11, 2012 Author Posted July 11, 2012 Its when a the guy who sees the girl first, calls dibs on her. Its a rule where none of the other guys can make a move on the girl
Roxie84 Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 Telling your friend is up to you - if you're close and you feel like its something she should know, then by all means tell her. She said she's not really interested in him anyway, so if she's mature, you two should be able to open up and talk about this. About letting him down - its never "easy" to let someone down.. that part is difficult, but take this as a learning experience. I don't know what kind of friendship you two have or how openly you communicate, but if you feel that this will ruin your friendship, all you can do is explain to him (repetitively) that although you're not interested you don't want to lose his friendship. If he likes you a lot, he may be hurt, and he may ignore you for a few days. But just keep the lines of communication open, remind him that you appreciate his friendship, and ask him to hang out. By being polite to him and not arguing, he'll eventually get over it and you can go back to normal with him
Roxie84 Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 As for calling dibs - I remember kids doing this when I was younger, and that's the stage you're at right now, so I can't judge. But honestly that whole "dibs" thing goes away very quickly. Why should I control everyone's lives because I have a crush on someone?
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