Professional Athlete. I do nothing but LD. Hope she'll come back

[MrReactive]

Why didn't I find this website four months ago?!?!

 

Anyways I'll make this as short as I can.

 

I am a professional athlete and 3.5 years ago while I was on the road playing in another city I met this girl. While i had some off time I went out to the mall and happened to come accross this beautiful girl who happened to be with her dad. I walked by her but quickly realized I couldn't miss the opportunity. We ended up switching contacts and started talking via text and Facebook. A month later we were back in town and we met up. We absolutely hit it off and had a got a decided that we would start seeing each other despite the LD.

 

3 years, two continents, and five countries later we were still going strong. We went through some harsh times and some great times but always coming out on top. Naturally LD tests your trust levels, well this past season was extra tough for me. We spent 8 months apart and my insecurities went through the roof. I kept pushing her away and pretty much tested her willingness to the very end. Early this March we cut it off despite really not wanting too we found it was too much drama.

 

We currently are LD and since the break up all I've wanted to do was get back together. She now has a job at jome and is feeling very happy about getting her life going and insisted she still wasn't ready but she doesn't want to be with anyone else.

 

I've been so confused as to what to do since march. Between march and June I sent her flowers a couple of times, which she loved. I wanted her to know she was still on my mind. During that same time frame we communicated via text and there were times where we talked frequently and things seemed normal and then there were times where we just didn't talk. We've exchanged I miss you's, the odd I love you's but oddly enough how she's shown me she's cared the most was through her insecurities. Asking me if I was rebounding, or moving on etc. childish but it was her way and of course i let her know she was silly to think I was doing something to jeopardize us. In the end of may I decided to drive 40 hours round trip to see her. It was spur of the moment and I happened to let her know on my way down. She was obviously freaked out of her mind and wasn't happy about the idea because she wasn't ready but I felt like it was something I had to do. I stayed the weekend and the first day and night it was like we were together again. The second day she pulled the reigns back and was really holding back. Nothing in her life had changed. All my pictures and all were still all over her room and her house. I ended up leaving more confused then when I went down there.

 

After I got back I hadn't heard from her for a week and I thought it was her way of telling me it was over. Well during that week our dog who lives with me had acl surgery and I realized I had to tell her but I really only let her know so much and felt justified ignoring her because of how she was the week before. This was the a month ago. I know she was pretty upset with me about it and then I hadn't heard from her for another two weeks which at one point she deleted me off of Facebook because she had noticed I had added an ex of mine from when I was 18?????? Anyways I ignored she did it and tried talking to her normally. She replied but kept it really short. Last week I sent her a text saying I thought she was pushing me out and cutting me out of her life and she replied saying that it was fine that I have my ex to comfort me. Ridiculous of course.

 

Anyways on Friday I had a very insecure moment because she has this close guy friend that is in love with her and constantly is trying to get her. I saw something that bothered me which I should of let just slide. We got in a mini argument and she brought up a couple things I did that wasn't all that nice.

 

I was reeling Saturday so I wrote her a lengthy email apologizing for a lot of things. The email was pretty much comprised of me telling her how there's no need to be so angry and we should work on it and how there's no need to be so insecure bc of such and such reason. I followed that with telling her about my future plans playing my sport and how I would love for her to be a part of it. I pretty much ended it telling her there's no obstacle for me. This little summarization doesnt do the email any justice. It actually was a gem, it wasn't by any stretch desperate and it go everything out I wanted. The reason for it was the so I would start NC. I know shes still really angry about the other day and probably the other stuff so she actually didn't respond. That may be an answer in itself but I asked her if she wanted to try and she could of at least given me a no. Every time before this I tried saying it was over she would say it wasn't.

 

I took another step by deleting Facebook. I'm also seeing someone to deal with my insecurities. I really did push her away and she does see a lot of this as drama and I was always aware it was over the top. I've come to realize a lot of my issues are based off my dads relationship with my mom. My dad was also a professional athlete and he wasn't the best husband. I'm taking strides to improve myself so that whenever I'm back in a relationship I can deal with it.

 

I really did shorten this email. I could right a seminar about how perfect we are for each other. We both have our issues and we had planned to seek counseling for them. She is the woman I want to marry.

 

I need to know if I held her hand through this break up? Is she done with this? Will she ever get over the idea of us together being drama? It is something that will no longer be a part of my life with the continued help. Not something I can explain to her anymore becaus of the NC. NC worked early on but if I take the steps to prolong it now will it hit her again? Will she basically be okay with their being no contact?

 

Was it good to lay it out there In the email? I know she's still furious. Do some of her actions still show she cares? So many questions, ahhhhhhhhh.

 

She does have a problem with long distance and sadly I may be leaving in three weeks for the year. Im crushed I didn't start this in march. In fact I would quit doing what I'm doing to pursue a long life and family with her.

 

Did I mention this girl loved me to death. Hope during these four months it hasn't gone away.

 

Ps NC Day 4.....ouch

[dasilver]

Hi MrReactive,

 

That's a very beautiful love story....

 

Long distance relationships are not for the faint of heart....Believe me i know this as i was in one myself for 3 years. Not everyone is cut out for them.

 

For now though the only advice i can give you is to give her some space....Let her decide what she wants.

 

She knows you still love her...If she loves you too i'm sure she'll find a way to tell you....

 

I'm rooting for you...hoping that the two of you might be able to work things out....

 

Good luck!!!

[pl3asehelp]

You think it's ok that she's got a close guy friend who is in love with her? That would be a dealbreaker for me. Not because I'm insecure, but because I think that's childish and selfish behavior and totally inappropriate for someone in a relationship. If you continue on with her I would expect lots of drama and pain.

[resilient7]

You're situation reminds me of mine or better yet,my ex's ex.She had a LDR with a guy in another country (funny,we all play professionally as well) and had these same exact kind of problems with him,she of course never got really over him and neither did she,you could just tell.I dont knwo if they got back but he did try and get in contact with her right after she broke up with me,which pretty much told me they were talking while she was dating me because according to her he called 3 days after she dumped me,ha,BS on her part.

 

I think you should chill,my ex's ex did the same thing and would question other guys,even me.Her bro would ask if I was better looking and so forth and even though she told me herself I was better looking than him she never loved me and told me she loved him from the start which is something she didnt with me,her words man.

[MrReactive]

Thanks guys for taking the time to read and reply!

 

Dasilver, that's great and much appreciated. I hope it does too. I'll leave her alone and see if/when she tries to get in touch.

It's definitely been a challenge so far.

 

Pleasehelp, I may have exaggerated on the love part. I know he had some interest in her. Love would definitely be exaggerated. It has always been clear to her that they've always been just friends. My insecurities are pretty much getting the best of me. Something I'm going to try and work on myself. Basically we were a part for 8 months this year and she had every opportunity to be with him but didn't. She also had long distance as an excuse.

 

Reselient7 - sorry to hear. Thanks for sharing your experience with me, it definitely does help. Tough being in sports and trying to add into that a relationship. People ask me if I'm tired of doing LDR and would want to do something local. Problem is it always ends up being LD because I'm all over the place.

[MrReactive]

Oh and do you think I did too much to push her away? Or basically make it easy on her to move on? We had such a serious thing going on, ugh.

[MrReactive]

7 days NC. After 4 months of LC. I am crushed, miss her badly.

 

I broke up with her to get a rise out of her but boy do I ever feel like the dumpee. I put in a solid attempt to get her back but she said she just wasnt ready. Left her the email last Saturday. It's safe to say its been the longest week of my life and I have no idea what's going to happen.

 

One word. Brutal