Why Did I Act This Way? How Can I Stop Acting This Way

[SuddenSun]

i was reading through this thread here:

 

 

 

and it kind of disturbed me because it reminded me so much of how I acted when my ex-gf broke up with me.

 

She called me back in May and told me it wasn't gonna work because she is gonna be with her and her brothers friend. We had been together for about 6 months but it was long distance for the entirety of our relationship. I see now that I was in no condition to be in a healthy relationship, because of deep-seated family issues that really put a strain on me getting to see her often. But when she broke up with me I absolutely went off. Many many many angry text messages, dials, demeaning things, the whole nine yards. I was drunk at a party when I got the call so I think that might have set the tone for my 'explosion', but that might just be a cop-out excuse.

 

I've since apologized profusely and she accepts but I still hate myself for it. There's no excuse for acting that way. Why is it that I acted this way???

[Roxie84]

I've done the same thing when I've been with someone who makes me feel insecure about myself (or when I let a toxic person have that kind of control over me).

 

Don't beat yourself up. All you can do is move forward and make improvements, right? I'm assuming you still have feelings for her... unfortunately it doesn't seem likely that this will work But who knows what the future will bring?

 

Before you can think about being in a healthy relationship, you've gotta work on yourself. You acknowledge some of your problems emotionally, and this is a great start! I'd start looking into self-imporvement and really think about the things in life that make you happy (other than this girl).

 

Once you become confident in yourself and start having a healthy outlook on relationships, you'll be more than ready to build a solid relationship, whether its with this girl or not

[laura40]

Hi SuddenSun, I felt I should comment seeing as that was my thread.

 

In the past I have been a little too over the top with ex's if they have finished with me. Not like what I described in my thread but a couple of times I did try and beg them back via texts and emails (I now realise this is not the best way to go about it). I did finally get the message and backed off though. This was mainly in my younger years (let's say 16 - 19 years of age).

 

I agree with Roxie84's message, you should start looking into becoming more confident. I felt that once I gained more confidence in my own life, I never felt the need to beg or go OTT with texts/emails/calls after a relationship finished. I just accepted it was finished and started to move on. It takes time but it's do-able.