docmartenchic Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 About a month ago my husband convinces me to get the "premium" channels on our TV. I was fine with it as long as he agreed not to sit around while I am at work watching smut on Cinemax- he agreed. Within the first week he was not sticking to the agreement. So now I have put a parental control on the tv to block the adult themed shows. He is very mad and says I am trying to control him. We have talked about this since we have been together and I have not changed my mind on the issue. He went back on his word. It's simple as that to me. I don't know what to do here?
Seraphim Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 I do not agree that you should act like his mother.( which you are) If he can not see why this bothers you about the topic and why he went back on his word therapy is a better solution than acting like his mom. What you are doing is controlling.
docmartenchic Posted July 10, 2012 Author Posted July 10, 2012 So if a person gives their word on something and goes back on it...that's my fault?? Why agree to be respectful if there is not intention there to do so? Funny but I remember the Bible saying somthing about just the thought is cheating? So if my husband is sitting around watching smut that falls in the lines of "Lust". If he would watch it with me around it would not be an issue however he would rather lie and go behind my back.
Seraphim Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 The thing is two wrongs do not make a right, right? One can not treat a spouse like their child. If you want a better result go to couples therapy.
greywolf Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 I agree with Victoria. You asked for advice and Victoria gave you some, but your reply sounds like you're looking for people to validate you rather than getting advice. But validation and being "right" is not going to help your marriage.
docmartenchic Posted July 11, 2012 Author Posted July 11, 2012 wasn't looking for any "validation", just advice.....he won't go to couples therapy. I have asked our Pastor for advice and he said that my being open and honest with my husband from the start was the right thing to do. Yes it is an insecurity of mine that I have to deal with; however my husband not being honest was a mistake. If he would have just told me he was addicted to porn and not waited 5 years I would have never wasted my time or heart. Thanks for your "advice" just wanted to see if it was going to be anywhere near what the Pastor advised.
Seraphim Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 Well of course people need to be honest no one said people did not need to be honest. If he is not willing to do couples therapy I have no idea what you are doing to do, but treating him like he is a child will definitely fast track you to divorce. Controlling people is not honest though either.
Squishyx3 Posted August 21, 2012 Posted August 21, 2012 Talk to each other and see what he would want the boundies to be. and compromise. He shouldn;t have gone behind your back but he can still do what he wants, he is his own person. Atleast he's only watching TV and not going to a strip club or to a street corner
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