ReturnToSender Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 Hello all I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 6 months now and there is a slight age difference between us and by slight I mean six years and he's the younger one. We like the same things and have a lot in common and get along very well and he's very mature. The only drawback I have is that I feel like I'm holding him back he says I’m not but its so hard getting past that feeling. Anyone have any insight about this if so I would really appreciate the help.
ReturnToSender Posted July 9, 2012 Author Posted July 9, 2012 I also thought that maybe I’m reading into societies view way too much on an older woman dating a younger guy. It seems like its ok for an older guy to date a younger woman but when it’s reversed it’s almost taboo.
ReturnToSender Posted July 9, 2012 Author Posted July 9, 2012 whats the ages ? 24 and 19 but i'm turning 25 in a few months
pippy longstocking Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 I can't see any problem with that at all ..and if he says your not holding him back ..then believe him and just enjoy your relationship .
ReturnToSender Posted July 10, 2012 Author Posted July 10, 2012 Holding him back from what? I feel like him being younger he's missing out on some of the things people his age do. He is taking our relationship very seriously and I guess I’m just a little worried that he's holding back cause of me sometimes. and his mom is unhappy about our age difference his dad doesn't care.
pippy longstocking Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 I don't think the age difference is that big that you both could possibly have such differing views and life styles that he is missing out.
ReturnToSender Posted July 10, 2012 Author Posted July 10, 2012 I don't think the age difference is that big that you both could possibly have such differing views and life styles that he is missing out. It’s not a huge difference and like I said maybe I am just over thinking this whole thing. I should take his word and believe him because worrying about it won’t bring anything positive to the relationship.
lukeb Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 I do think it can be a bit of an age difference at your ages. I guess the bigger issue is that he is only 19. That is an extremely young age for a guy to be considering a serious relationship, but 25 is not young for a woman to be considering marriage kids and settling down. It kind of also depends on what you mean by dating. It is possible you could be holding him back, but then its hard to say with what you have given us.
ReturnToSender Posted July 10, 2012 Author Posted July 10, 2012 I do think it can be a bit of an age difference at your ages. I guess the bigger issue is that he is only 19. That is an extremely young age for a guy to be considering a serious relationship, but 25 is not young for a woman to be considering marriage kids and settling down. It kind of also depends on what you mean by dating. It is possible you could be holding him back, but then its hard to say with what you have given us. By dating I mean we have know each other for about a year and a little over six months ago we decided to become exclusive, we both take the relationship very seriously. We click on so many levels that sometimes it’s scary more than half the time we know what one another is thinking and this may sound cheesy but we finish each others sentences. We have the same interests and values, but I can’t help and wonder if sometimes because he is so young he thinks that he wants this but might be just confused, but on the other hand it’s hard to say because he is very mature.
ReturnToSender Posted July 10, 2012 Author Posted July 10, 2012 I also know that right now the age gap between us seems really big but once we both got older it wouldn't be so significant.
duke nukem Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 I'm 19 and I wouldn't feel held back if I were in his position. I'd actually like a relationship like that haha.
Gandaako Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 A friend and her ex had about the same age gap. They started dating when the guy was 21. They broke up cause the girl wanted to settle down but the guy wasn't ready. Because he didn't have a lot of time spent with friends and to experience a lot of things with them that he started hanging out with his friends more, that was after being in a relationship for five years with my friend..the following year they broke up cause most of his time was spent with his friends that he met from college.
nocontactrule Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 That age difference is Not that much, but seeing how he is still a teenager I hope you know what you're getting yourself into. Anyhow, the only thing that matters is you two experiencing love and maintaining that fun love. Theres no need to think about the other person.
rbsx Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 The big thing I would be worried about is how fickle people are at that age, that's all.
chitown9 Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 Why is his mom unhappy with the age difference? Her opposition to the relationship is a concern, not the age difference. I think that this issue needs to be resolved.
rbsx Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 Why is his mom unhappy with the age difference? Her opposition to the relationship is a concern, not the age difference. I think that this issue needs to be resolved. The age difference is relevant.
drummergirl Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 Why is his mom unhappy with the age difference? Her opposition to the relationship is a concern, not the age difference. I think that this issue needs to be resolved. He's 19. Personally, I think that's old enough that his mom doesn't need to approve of everybody he dates. While it's nice to get the approval of one's family, I don't think it's all that important in relationships. Sounds to me like mom doesn't approve because she is over-protective of her 'baby' and doesn't like the idea of him with an older woman. But he's an adult now. If he was raised right, he should be able to make good relationships choices himself. While I value input from my family on who I date, it's not the bottom line. For example, my mom would never approve of me dating a woman, but if I wanted to, that wouldn't stop me.
ReturnToSender Posted July 10, 2012 Author Posted July 10, 2012 I agree with the fact that he's old enough to make his own decisions on who he dates, but the opposition form his mom doesn't help. Its not like she said that he cant date me she just said that she doesn't like me because of my age. Up until she found out how old I was she liked me. Its just another thing that adds to the pile of my worries. I always hear that age is nothing but a number and I felt that way up until I got involved in this relationship. I'm not saying that I don’t want to be with him I would just like to make sense of this maybe I’m feeling insecure about being with someone so young. I have to say though when I just let go and have fun with him and forget about his age I feel like nothing else exists but that moment between him and I. I usually don’t even think about this so much but today I hit a huge bump and I have no idea where it came from.
lalalollipops Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 Guys mature really slow (well most of them). When I was 18, I dated a 24 year old for a year and seriously... by the end of our relationship, by the way he behaved and reacted... I'd say he was much more immature than me (I was 19 when I dumped him). Most guys don't really become emotionally mature until the mid 20's... So 19 would be a problem imo.
lalalollipops Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 And I'm not just talking that one guy. Most guys I've dated have been at least 2 years older, and from my experiences... They've pretty much all been quite immature in many respects.
ReturnToSender Posted July 10, 2012 Author Posted July 10, 2012 And I'm not just talking that one guy. Most guys I've dated have been at least 2 years older, and from my experiences... They've pretty much all been quite immature in many respects. I tend not to put a label on a guy based upon his age, in my experiences I have dated older and younger guys and some were mature and others weren't. I dated a man who was 9 years older than me I was 21 at the time and he was the most immature man I have ever been with. On the other hand I dated a guy who was my age and he was very mature, a lot of it has to do with how he was brought up and raised. I always give people a chance, once I get to know them I then decided what I think of them I don’t put a label on anyone based upon any factor.
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