Moving 100 meters from my ex's work

[manu85]

Hi guys!

 

I've been looking for a new place to live starting this September, because I'm starting my new job in the city in October. Exciting new times coming up I am currently 'negotiating' with 2 cool, laid-back, nice guys who are living in a gorgeous, spacious appartment in the heart of the city and are looking for someone to replace their 3rd roomie who is going to live with his gf. I'd have my own floor with my proper bedroom, bathroom and little work room, so it's pretty much perfect!

 

Only thing is that the apartment is located about 100 meters from where my ex works. Now, we've been split up for nearly 2 years after a very intense 1,5 yr long relationship, so the heartbreak and aching is over, but we had kind of a rough break-up. (in a nutshell: after dumping me my ex started befriending a large group of friends/acquaitances she all knew through me and basically, sounds silly to say maybe, but pretty much took over that group of people as her day-to-day-friends now, while I have little to no contact with a lot of these people anymore. I've always suspected her of using (at least some) of these people's 'friendships' as a way to remain close to me and still be in touch, but after cutting her out of my life completely I've noticed that in the past 6 months I've done most of my healing and right now I don't think about her much anymore.)

 

But I'm kind of a little afraid to sort of get closer to her again. Casually meeting her when leaving my house to work (or vice versa) is inevitably going to happen from time to time, and I'm okay with the casual hello, but I have to admit that I am a bit afraid that she might get on my nerves or creep under my skin a little if I see her too much again. The whole losing people - a loved one and losing the many friends (although they weren't the best friends) - has hurt me a great deal alltogether, and while I've let go of it all, I still find it unfair that my ex has always acted as if her nose bled, as if I was the only one to blame for losing all these people, while never taking any responsibility herself for what happened, or much less so apologize for what she's done or at least be grateful for all the friendships she gained through me. (my ex is probably a BPD as well, for any of you who might have experience with that).

 

When I don't see her, all of this is no longer an issue for me, but I'd like to keep it that way, and I'm a bit afraid I might be a little more bothered than I'd hope. I'd prefer to keep her far away.

 

Is this a reason to not go for this apartment? I REALLY think this is a golden opportunity for me as I am a very selective person when it comes to housemates, and these 2 guys seem like a great match. On top of that I've got relatively much privacy considering it's a shared apartment, the place is gorgeous and huge and the location is top notch. I'm 99% sure, after looking for a couple of months already, that I won't find a better deal than this. I figured I might just as well go and live there and if it would bother me running into my ex from time to time, I can still just take my bike one block further so I don't meet her on her biking route.

 

Lol. Much ado about nothing maybe

[camus154]

Not sure what you expect in terms of advice. This is obviously a trade off that only you can decide if it's worth it.

[manu85]

You're right. I think while writing my post I already made up my mind. If the guys pick me as a new roomie, I'm going to take the invite. Way too good to refuse, and it would be a tad silly to refuse just because of some casual meetings with the ex a few times a week/month at most, esp. when I can adjust my route if I'd notice that running into my ex would bother me. I guess I just needed to get that tiny but of worriedness of my chest.