What's wrong with me?

[yolo23]

So it's been about a month and a half now since the break up. I haven’t heard from her since the end of May. I really fell for this woman, but she didn't feel the same way anymore and left me. Life tends to throw you these curve balls and life has thrown me another curve ball. I know for a fact I'm not ready nor do I want a relationship right now. I'm very emotionally unavailable. But, this past weekend and old friend and me were talking. She's a very pretty woman and one thing led to another. Long story short. She basically told me she wanted to do the FWB (friends with benefits) thing. She said she was curious and said that there would be no emotions involved. I havent confirmed anything. It is very tempting because, who knows what my ex is doing. She is probably doing the same thing. It's not like she misses me or thinks about me as much as I do, she's the one that left me!

 

So knowing this, the other side of me tells me, dont do it because. I dont know why the hell I'm thinking but i'm hoping, "what if she sees me again and starts to like me all over again and tell me she's made a mistake, she may not want me back if she knew I did this after a month after the breakup" Why the hell am I thinking about this "chance" and letting it control decisions? I hate the fact that I can't seem to let go. A part of me wants to see her realize she's made a mistake and then try to come back to me but it will be too late. The other wants to get another opportunity to work it out. But in reality the relationship is over. She doesn’t want me and these thoughts don't really mean anything.

 

I can't even do a FWB thing because I'm thinking of some will never happen scenario and basing it off "what if" when in reality she will never want me again. Why does she have a hold on me? And why is it unfair. I treated her the best i can, she didnt want me, but i'm still here building these thoughts in my head...when she's moved on with her life...

[Eaudesource]

I'm not going to give you advice on if having a FWB relationship with someone is good or not. But what you should do at this point is what's right for you. Don't let your previous relationship and the girl that left you make you not take advantage of opportunities that are presenting themselves in front of you now. I would move on with your life assuming that your ex is not coming back and if that means your into experimenting with FWB then go for it. If she wants you back then what you do in the time that you are not together (especially since she left you) should not alter her decision to take you back. Do what's right for you right now, don't worry about her anymore.