Cloud9riddim Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 I need perspective. I do understand women like attention, but when does it become obsessive? Because you enable it, are they aware and feed off of it? What if you don't intend on enabling it? Are they just natural attention seekers & interpret you communicating with them & running with it as interest in them? I have a co-worker who wants my attention at work 24/7. It becomes tiresome & she's aware & admits she's attention seeking, particularly with me. She's attractive and I've told her that. However, before I told her that she was still seeking massive amounts of attention from me. Perhaps shes picked up cues from me that I'm attracted to her. I'm definitely not obvious. I understand it's a professional environment. Even when I ignore her antics, she finds another way for me to enable it, by doing some form of attention seeking behavior. Does she need that much validation? I find this very peculiar. It could just be immaturity... Thoughts?
The_Seeker Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 LOL Maybe she likes chasing you for attention. I bet if you ignore her a lot more it will become worst. To be honest, I haven't come accross someone who likes a lot of attention like your co-worker before.
Moontiger Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 First, please don't lump all woman together! Honestly, I would just tell you very gently one day "Stop. Your being really annoying." then ignore her for the next two days. Repeat until her behavior changes. If it continues talk to your manager about her behavior and how its effecting your work.
Cloud9riddim Posted July 9, 2012 Author Posted July 9, 2012 I know if I ignore her it'll add fuel to the fire. I haven't come accross someone like her either....
Cloud9riddim Posted July 9, 2012 Author Posted July 9, 2012 We are actually relatively close at work, so I wouldn't talk to my manager. However, I don't want to be mean and I'm not comfortable enough with her yet to be so candid. But the, "stop, you're being really annoying" may need to be enforced. Clearly, she can't read social cues.
Moontiger Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 We are actually relatively close at work, so I wouldn't talk to my manager. However, I don't want to be mean and I'm not comfortable enough with her yet to be so candid. But the, "stop, you're being really annoying" may need to be enforced. Clearly, she can't read social cues. Your going to have to follow through with your actions when you tell her that. That means not feeding into her attention seeking. If it doesn't get better and it effects your work you will have to speak with a manager.
imsuperman Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 Well, at least they apparently like you enough to seek your attention.
Thorshammer Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 I wont say all women are like this, but there is quite a large number out there. They barrage you with tests, all for the sake of seeing if you get; jealous, emotional, to check your reaction, to force your hand into a certain image they want, etc. This usually comes from insecurity, even the most beautiful women do this. It is validation for them, a "pick me up" when insecurity calls. I have had very confident women that rarely tested me, but most have, some dont even realize they are doing it.
imsuperman Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 I wont say all women are like this, but there is quite a large number out there. They barrage you with tests, all for the sake of seeing if you get; jealous, emotional, to check your reaction, to force your hand into a certain image they want, etc. This usually comes from insecurity, even the most beautiful women do this. It is validation for them, a "pick me up" when insecurity calls. I have had very confident women that rarely tested me, but most have, some dont even realize they are doing it. And it's funny when they start, for example, jealousy testing you BEFORE you've even been out with them. Hmm, do I like you in that way? Well...I did...
EQIQ Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 Have sex with her, problem solved. (Not really that would just create more problems.. but heck why not? lol j/k). Hmmm, well man at least you ain't posting here about having ZERO attention from women... that is worse lol. Just tolerate the annoyance is all.
mhowe Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 If she is coming off this way in a work environment, I would strongly agree w/ the suggestion to tell her she is annoying and ignore her. You don't want to be "paired" up w/ her in the work environment, and you certainly will be if it looks like you are the target for all this attention which I assume has nothing to do w/ work and may possibly interfere w/ production!!!
Cloud9riddim Posted July 10, 2012 Author Posted July 10, 2012 If she is coming off this way in a work environment, I would strongly agree w/ the suggestion to tell her she is annoying and ignore her. You don't want to be "paired" up w/ her in the work environment, and you certainly will be if it looks like you are the target for all this attention which I assume has nothing to do w/ work and may possibly interfere w/ production!!! I told her that some of her actions are annoying at times and she absolutely took offense. She told me to lighten up and that she's "joking." You could tell she had an attitude by the tone of her voice. Hopefully she will calm down. I just don't understand how she can't tell by my body language that I'm annoyed. We're certainly, "paired" up.
Cloud9riddim Posted July 10, 2012 Author Posted July 10, 2012 Also, I didn't mean that ALL women were attention seeking. Didn't mean to come accross that way.
mhowe Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 Normally, people who pull the "I was just joking" line are covering for not joking at all ----- keep using the word "annoying" to her face. She will stop.
Day_Walker Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 Given human nature, if you reject her then she will seek more attention from you.
pinkelephant Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 Introduce her to a friend. lol or a therapist.
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