Feel so bad for how I treated my mother last time I saw her...

[NEWYORKCITYGAL]

So last time I saw my parents was over Christmas. Me and my brother weren't getting along this trip so to get away, the last night I was there I went out to some bars and didn't come back for dinner and when I got back to their house my mom was pissed at me. I got angry with her for being angry with me and went off on her. Basically was a little drunk and said some things I wouldn't have said normally, but it is stuff that I've been angry about for a long time. I could tell she was hurt, and the next day she barely talked to me. Then I left. I later did apologize, but I still feel horrible about it. I've never talked to my mother like that before. It was a mistake to say all those awful things to her. Since then we have gone from talking every couple of days on the phone to talking maybe once or twice a month. I'm wondering how I can make things right again with her, but also wonder if that is possible cuz of all the things I said.

[catcountry]

If there is one thing about a Mother it is that her love for her children is unconditional. If you can't go to see her, call. Tell her what you told us. You will be forgiven. Just a few day's ago I was so upset with my daughter I was spitting nails....it only took one moment and the anger was gone.

[NEWYORKCITYGAL]

If there is one thing about a Mother it is that her love for her children is unconditional. If you can't go to see her, call. Tell her what you told us. You will be forgiven. Just a few day's ago I was so upset with my daughter I was spitting nails....it only took one moment and the anger was gone.

 

Oh, I do feel like she loves and forgives me....I just feel so bad for hurting her feelings...and she is very sensitive. But thanks, maybe I will write her an email saying all this....on the phone and in person I just freeze....

[nutbrownhare]

In addition to catcountry's lovely post - is there a possibility that what you said to your mother was actually the truth - a truth that she didn't want to hear?

 

This may well explain the fact that she's been distant with you, much more so than if you'd been merely rude or abusive. It's a pity that you didn't feel able to express your long-held feelings more constructively at a time when the situation was calmer - but that's just how it is in some families. However, as you've apologised to her and done your best to make things right, there's not a lot more you can do for now. Undoubtedly she will come round in time.

 

In the meantime, re-examine what you said and decide if it's actually valid. Some of it might be.

[Moontiger]

Try and think of this as a great chance to talk with her about those things that have been bothering you. Write her an email, apologizing again for how you acted, telling her that you love her and want to be able to talk about some things that have been troubling you.

[Di84]

She is your mother and I am certain she loves you unconditionally. Sometimes, we argue with our family members and we find it hard to see eye to eye, but at the end of the day they are still our family. You and your mother had a conflict and it happens..sometimes arguments get heated and we say mean things that we wouldn't say in the heat of the moment. Maybe you needed to get all those things off your chest but it just happened in a bad way. I think the fact that you feel sorry still and want to make things work with your mom is very sweet. If I were you, I would just call her and tell her how you feel. No mother would hate to hear their child say "mom, I am sorry for treating you badly..you don't deserve that and I really love you and don't want to be awkward with you anymore and talk to you more often". In my opinion, the argument and the making up would only make your bond with your mom that much stronger. So call her! And tell her how you feel.