Misunderstood Teen

[Halfbakedzack]

Im a 16 year old male. I don't consider myself a "normal" teenager though. I mean, I don't enjoy going to friend's houses, I don't dress, act, or speak like a teenager. I feel like there is no one my age I can connect with, and who understands me, I always end up making friends with people much older than me, because apparently Im quite mature for my age. Its hard for me to make friends especially at this age because to be frank, I hate the way kids my age act nowadays, thats a generalization, I know, not ALL kids my age act the same, but I can't find people who understand me and who I connect with. I've never had a girlfriend, my excuse? I haven't found the perfect girl yet, that, and I just can't seem to speak to girls. I dont know what to say, without sounding like a creep. I dont have a problem making friends as long as they're guys, but I feel like I dont have any friends at all, no one takes an interest in the stuff I like. But I digress. The point is, there are 7 billion people on earth and ive yet to find 5 people i actually enjoy the company of, or connect with. It feels like its getting harder and harder for me to wake up in the morning and have purpose. I feel like my life is falling apart, i cant talk to anyone but strangers on the internet. I just wish i could find people like me, am i the only one who feels this way? Id like to think not...

[East4]

No, Zack, no worries you are not the only one who feels like that. The thing is that the socially preferred mode is extroverted, which makes it hard for the introverted people like you as I suppose you are one. At your age I had the same feelings of being somewhat inadequate and different to the rest of generation-not going out a lot, enjoyment of the company of older people, mostly family. But being introvert is not a problem by itself, it is just a natural disposition. Accept yourself the way you are, this is the only way to relax and if you relax and feel good in your skin, then friendships come naturally, even if you are not the type "social butterfly". No worries about the girlfriend thing, I for instance had my first boyfriend when i was almost 20. Just live your life, find interesting things to do, the rest will fall nicely into places by itself. Good day to you.

[RockSteady]

I actually felt similar when I was younger. All my friends were in their 20s, they all loved me because I was so precocious and oddly intelligent for my age. Many of my peers hated me because I didn't do things the way they did, and acted like a grown up.

 

Just live your life, find interesting things to do, the rest will fall nicely into places by itself.

 

I don't really want to contradict this statement, because it is partially true. Things generally do just fall into place, but some things you do have to change. You won't be able to change your views on certain things, and you won't be able to change how you feel, but you can change the way you act.

 

People generally associate with people who have a personality they can identify with. And while I don't encourage being friends with everyone; firstly because it's impossible, and secondly even if you could, it would be very draining, it's always good to try and make friends with as many people as possible, even if they don't end up being your best friends.

 

Do you want to know why? Because as unfair as it is, we live in a judgmental society, and the sad reality is that if you can't fit in, you get excluded. You may not want to be friends with those people, because they bore you, or because they annoy you, but think long term. If you get on their good side, they're extremely unlikely to embarrass you in public, and they'll have your back. They may even introduce you to a person who ends up being your best friend.

 

It's a bit manipulative but think of them like pawns. Who cares if you don't get along with one, but if they all hate you, then you're severely outnumbered, and it doesn't matter who you are, you can't beat all of them. Life is a game, and unless you hide away in your room 24 hours a day, you don't have any other option.

 

You should look at people who are generally loved by everyone, and identify what trait they possess that you don't. Then work on gaining that trait. In my instance, there was a girl who everyone liked because she was so agreeable and uncontroversial, this was a direct opposite to my personality, I was extremely outspoken, and had no issue calling someone out on their issues in public, because of that, a lot of people disliked me, but when I stopped doing that, people all started liking me.

 

It'll be different for you, you need to find out what it is that you don't have that people whom everyone seems to like; has.

 

As far as finding a girlfriend, you can't do much other than what I just said. Eventually you'll just find someone who understands you better than most people, then after that, all you can really do is just prove to them that you understand them back, in a way that other people can't, and the rest is in your hands.

 

Hope that helped.