feeling very sad

[pnoy]

Hi all, me again some of you know my story my ex split up with me 3mnths ago i only foind out via facebook that he is in a relationship ive deactivated him as a friend i felt i was getting better, but the truth is am not i have cried since i found out he is with someone else i must be crying in my sleep bcas i woke up crying i had a dream my ex was following me and he caught up with me and just held me in his arms then i woke up sobbing,

 

i just cant seem to be getting over this ive been going out but am not interested in meeting anyone iam going to london at the end of the month to see my brother so looking forward to seeing him i just wish i could get over my ex he is not god just a man but i feel like my heart has been ripped out, i feel like iam putting a front on to other people acting like am over him and iam happy but am crying inside

[chrisn]

It will be alright, in time you will feel better about the whole situation; just make sure you remove every possible reminder of your ex from your presence and occupy yourself continuously.

 

In regards to putting a front up when with other people; sometimes this is a way to cope, because even though we want other people to care about us we just don't have the energy to answer all of their questions.

[Moggs]

I feel for you pnoy, i'm in the same place, and yes, like you have dreams that i am with my ex and he feels for me like he used to, I wish you a great time in London, you never know the good things in life that await you, stay strong, things will get better, I know that, because I have been through all this before, you will be happy again although right now its hard to imagine !

[oasisfall]

I'm sorry to hear that darling. I'm going through something similar, i'm onto my 5th month and I've only just started to get better. I used to get this sick feeling in my stomach when I see my ex flirt with another girl, I was anxious and would wake up in the middle of the night thinking about it. I'm still not interested in meeting someone else but believe me, that feeling will die. Eventually you'll feel like you're beating yourself up and feeling like crap all the time for nothing. Make sure you keep yourself occupied, I was stuck in a cycle of work and study, but as soon as I re-gained my social life, I almost forgotten about him and didnt' feel anxious anymore. Don't get too beat up about him being in a relationship so fast, guys don't have a support network like girls. they are left with a void in their heart and the only way to shadow that void is to find someone else. I heard the faster a guy jumps into the next relationship, the more he's hurting. I hope things will get better for you xx

[Dinocaz]

Hi Pnoy sorry you are going through it right now it is really hard when your ex starts meeting somone new. Crying is a good way to let out your emotions ... we do it for a reason. In time you will start to feel better as you adjust to the reality of the situation. As pointed out removing anything that reminds you of the past at this point is a good thing. The last thing you need are reminders. Try focus your energy on yourself and try not dwell on what your ex is or is not doing. Make use of your friends and family - people who care and love you. Surround yourself with as many positives as possible. I had to deal with this kind of situation at the back end of a 10 year relationship. Never thought I would stop my blubbering or extended pity party, but step by step I am and did. You to will do the same.

 

Rooting for you and take care! x

[pnoy]

Thank you all so much for replying i really appreciate them, i just hate these feelings and i know in time they will go away i have never tried to contact my ex for fear of rejection i never will go to the pubs he drinks in basically ive disappered off the radar to him, i know he wasnt good for me because his drug habit i just wonder if he has lied to his knew girl about his drug habit like he lied to me

[WhiteTiger]

Yep Im in the same place too.. nearly 3 months now and it hurts terribly. If he is a liar and drug user.. you dont need that in your life.. stop torturing yourself with thoughts of him and the other girl.. she is welcome to him.. and you focus on yourself and what you want out of life. Every time you start thinking about him, try to remember the bad times and you will see him for what he is.. not worthy of you.

[Avila]

that other girl really is welcome to him and to be honest, i'd feel sorry for her. she really is getting the short end of the stick! i know how you feel. my ex dumped me almost two monthes ago, got in contact 3 weeks ago because he was hurting and then without telling me he jumped into a rebound a week after we talked (probably because he knew i wasn't going to give into his crap.) the point is this is his journey and you haven't done anything wrong, this has nothing to do with you. you keep living your life, focus on yourself, better yourself and eventually you'll feel better.

 

i get the dreams as well. they are cruel. it's like everything is back the way you want, you wake up and your waking life is in fact your nightmare.

 

but just remember that he is not a good person for you if he's a drug user. you don't need that in your life. have a good time in london and keep yourself busy xo

[pnoy]

Thank you Avila, it is horrible but you know what one day they will realise they have lost good caring people US you take care too xx

[MrMojoRising]

Hi pnoy I'm sorry for your situation...if it can make you feel a little less worse, I'm in your same mess...

I discovered by facebook that my ex gf started a new relationship with a new guy

despite the fact that she left me saying that she wanted to take a break and not to have relations for awhile

when she left me she asked if we could still be friends, but she almost never returned my messages / emails / calls etc

she almost never looked for me

after a few weeks she told me she moved from the house of her parents and went to live with "some friends"

well, as it turns out, this "new friends" is her new bf

after I new this I was so angry that I removed her from my friends on fb, and stopped looking for her. I even didn't answer her when she tried to contact me after awhile.

but unfortunately... I cannot hate her, I still miss her too much and feel something strong, despite everything...

I still have dreams of us. And I cannot help thinking about when we were together, and about what could have been now if we were still together... it's so depressing (((

 

sorry.. I didn't want to bring you down, or lower than you were before

just think that things cannot get worse, so everything will be all right eventually

a hug

[pnoy]

Thank you for your reply mojo rising, you didnt bring me down sorry for your situation its just horrible he has never tried to contact me but what i cant get my head around is he hates facebook he never uses it last time he did was 1 yr ago so why broadcast it now. Hope you feelbetter soon

[Avila]

my ex never really used it either. it's a way of projecting the way that they want others to think they're feeling. it's not necessarily a reflection of what they are truthfully feeling.

[pnoy]

so do you think that he is lying about being in a relationship

[Avila]

he may be, he may not be. but that's not for you to worry about. do you want to be with someone who needs to lie about being in a relationship anyway? all i know is that my ex would occasionally use it to draw attention to himself. i know that i'd use it to make like i was doing really great! lol. fake it until you make it, i say.

 

the thing is, i've had toxic people in my life. my dad was a schizophrenic and an alchoholic. my grandparents were also very toxic people. and you know what? they poison your life. just because you love them, doesn't mean they are any good for you. i'm five years down the road from having seen these people and i can honestly say that i am a gazillion times better off without them in my life.

 

don't ever tell yourself that you don't deserve someone who is a balanced, happy human being. everyone deserves a supportive, loving relationship. i know how much it hurts to let go. i too am still having confusing dreams. just woke up from a really vivid one. but it's okay. just remember, that right now, what is happening is supposed to happen and that you are right where you are supposed to be. just be strong, keep busy and let time do it's thing. it's all going to be okay xo

[samsk5081]

I know this has been said so many times- during my first relationship-- I thought the world ended but as time went on, I found a hobby and focused on myself- although it took quite a while to get over, I did and I became a stronger person. Taking things day by day to improve yourself is what will help you. I know it may hurt to see them with another person, but think of it this way-- if they got over you so quick, then they didn't deserve you to begin with.