Need advice, to stay or not to stay in this relationship

[sweetgirl22]

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 and a half years and I love him dearly but we seem to not be able to get along. We are constantly fighting and I feel unhappy and bad about myself all the time. Whenever I try to talk to him about something serious he just disengages or gets mad. He takes it either as an attack, or he just doesn't want to be supportive and pay attention. I am not yelling or talking down to him when this happens either just in normal conversation anything serious or beyond "how was your day", he seems to get aggravated or uninterested, but has nothing to contribute to the conversation either. It's like he just plain hates me.

 

For example, I am still trying to figure out my career path and was telling him what I was thinking I might do and asking his advice. He just starts off on this rant on how the middle class is disappearing and then I say well what do you think about what I just said about me though? Saying that other stuff doesn't make me feel very good and it didn't really help anything. He flips out, gets mad and turns it around on me. I just wanted support and love and he's just mad at the world or something.

 

I feel I can't talk to him, he just makes it seem worse and makes me feel bad about myself. I don't even want to hang out with him a lot of the time because I know I will just end up upset afterwards. He doesn't give me the love and attention that I need. I like to be told I love you, and be cuddled and be spoken to in a nice way. He'll say things like shut up and **** off no matter how many times I say not to talk to me that way. If I'm upset I want to be comforted, and he just gets mad at me and storms off. I just feel unloved and I've told him this many times and he says he will try harder but nothing changes. I know I get a little emotional at times but I think every girl does and I feel like his excuse is always I'm too emotional or too sensitive. I guess sometimes it's true, maybe it is all my fault and I shouldn't get upset about these things. Other times I just feel he uses that to make me feel I'm always in the wrong, I always end up being the bad guy and having to apologize first and dragging one out of him.

 

I feel like no matter what I do we always end up fighting and I don't know if it's my fault or not, please give me your thoughts!!!

 

I want to save this relationship, I can't afford to have another one end. I am afraid of being alone and all my friends are getting married and I don't want to start over when the single scene looks so bleak in my town. I really love him and want to make it work but I am afraid it is doomed.

[Capricorn3]

I want to save this relationship, I can't afford to have another one end. I am afraid of being alone and all my friends are getting married and I don't want to start over when the single scene looks so bleak in my town.

I'm sorry, but this is the WORST reason for wanting to save the relationship. There's nothing wrong with being single. Just because others are getting married doesn't have to mean that you have to get married too.

 

Please, please re-read your entire post many many times. You are clearly very unhappy and yes, I would go so far as to say this is a dysfunctional relationship and you are incompatible. He seems like he has anger issues, is disinterested, verbally abusive and calls you names etc etc. Is this really who you want to be with for the rest of your life? You are right when you say it is doomed.

 

As to the question: NO, do NOT stay in this relationship. The sooner you end it, the better, imo.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I totally agree with all of Capricorn's thoughts and advice. This guy is no good, he is unsupportive, verbally abusive and blames you for his abuse. The longer you stay with him the more your life will be miserable. You will find more happiness being single and away from this guy who disrespects you and cuts you down. If this was just a friend, would you actually choose to remain friends with someone who treats you like this....I suspect you wouldn't. Many women have ruined their lives getting married to a man like him and being stuck in that kind of prison treated like garbage. You are not married to him and have the chance to break free. You are young and can eventually meet a nice guy who respects you and treats you well.

[SapphireNoir10]

You need to have some respect for yourself and walk away. He doesnt sound like he loves, cares, supports you or meets any of your needs. Walk away and even if your single its going to be better than feeling like crap all the time.