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itsallgrand
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Sophie, this is super late because I didn't even know you became a mom until recently... Congrats. I'm super happy for you! Also congrats on your accomplishments on the career front. Did you finish your studies now or do you still have more to go?

 

And thanks Batya, Seraphim, and Jibraltra. Thanks for listening, and caring. I knew I came to the right place sharing it here. You are all awesome people.

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Thank you very much! Life has changed a lot, that’s for sure. I have about a year and a half left before I graduate, and then after that I’m looking at probably another 5-7 years of “on the job training” as a working professional. So a long way to go still but not too much longer for the degree and that’s exciting.

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  • 1 month later...

My brother is turning 40 next month. I wanted to do something special for this one, but I'm not sure what I can give him now. I really wanted to gift an experience. Obviously though, very limited right now on things you can do due to restrictions and safety concerns.

If anyone has any ideas, throw them out and I'd love to hear.

We are at the points now where we are both fortunate ( and worked our butts off) to be comfortable enough financially where its not really about needing anything. If he wants something, he buys it.

He is one of my best friends. Sounds corny but it's true. We have always been there to support each other, no matter what, and I just want to help make his 40th a good one.

My original plan was a trip.. so yeah, that can't happen in the near future.

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  • 2 weeks later...

My SOs great uncle passed away in his sleep. He was 100 years old. 100!

Incredibly, himself and his wife had been living in their own home until a few months ago. He was driving up until last year (limited to essential short drives, but still, amazing).

I had got to visit them quite a lot since we have been together. Incredible people.

He was a massive nature lover, and an environmentalist without giving himself that label. He told us us he was leaving everything to wildlife preservation. I just think that is one of the most amazing gifts ever.

I'm really glad I got to know him. He was one of those people that make you feel amazed at what one human can do. He was buying crypto and stock trading online at 100 lol. Such a cool guy.

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My SOs great uncle passed away in his sleep. He was 100 years old. 100!

Incredibly, himself and his wife had been living in their own home until a few months ago. He was driving up until last year (limited to essential short drives, but still, amazing).

I had got to visit them quite a lot since we have been together. Incredible people.

He was a massive nature lover, and an environmentalist without giving himself that label. He told us us he was leaving everything to wildlife preservation. I just think that is one of the most amazing gifts ever.

I'm really glad I got to know him. He was one of those people that make you feel amazed at what one human can do. He was buying crypto and stock trading online at 100 lol. Such a cool guy.

 

Oh!!! I had a great aunt like that who lived to I think 103 (passed away a few years ago)- amazing woman -she even was on a popular talk show in the 1980s for one of her accomplishments. Such a cool lady. I am very sorry for your loss and your SO's loss of course -you know it of course is comfort that he lived such a long and amazing life and I also know that it can hurt just as much despite knowing how fortunate he was to live so long.

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  • 4 weeks later...
9 hours ago, itsallgrand said:

I went and did all my grocery shopping tonight during the store's sensory friendly hours. 100% love!! So quiet, peaceful, and wonderful. This would have been so so helpful to me over the years. I'm glad they are starting to do things like this!! 

 

That would be awesome for my son. Glad you got to go.

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3 hours ago, Seraphim said:

That would be awesome for my son. Glad you got to go.

Do you they have it in your area? I think they might if you have certain stores near you! I totally recommend it. At the stores that do it here, it's only 2 hours 1 day a week. But still, it's something. 

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7 minutes ago, itsallgrand said:

Do you they have it in your area? I think they might if you have certain stores near you! I totally recommend it. At the stores that do it here, it's only 2 hours 1 day a week. But still, it's something. 

They don’t , no. Just the regular elderly and physically disabled. There is nothing sensory anything in this little fiddly doo town I am afraid. 

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Happy birthday to my mumsy. I miss you every day. I did all the Christmas baking this year by myself. Weird times, and do I ever miss cooking and baking with you. So many good memories you created with me of Christmas, mum. I'm grateful for it every time Christmas rolls around. Some people are reminded of sadness, loneliness, and other difficult emotions around Christmas. For me, it will always remind me of you and dad. The energy you put into us as kids, I wonder if you really knew what a huge gift that was. I carry that forever, knowing you both truly loved being parents. Remember talking as adults, and you told stories of us as little kids, and how much you loved seeing us so excited and happy? Yeah, I remember that, it was touching mum. You and dad were meant to be parents. 

Christmas for me is.. playing in snow, celebrating the most awesome birth (you, mom!), community dinners, delivering presents and food to others, love, goofing off dancing around the house, delicious food and laughing in the kitchen, decorating and making things fun, snuggling around with drinks admiring the tree, random acts of kindness, and so much more. 

Love you to the moon, mumsy. Happy birthday. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

I know it's taboo to say this but I've reached my limit. We don't have enough ambulances to deal with our current multiple health crisis in my area. There is literally no ambulance available if you call for an emergency, you have to wait for one to be freed up.. There aren't enough beds, doctors or nurses. People's important appointments and surgeries are delayed and backed up, including an important appointment of mine. Oh yeah, and our Covid cases keep growing. We have Red Cross called in for certain areas. 

So why the hell are people getting pregnant during all this as though its no big deal?! It is a big deal!! You are taking valuable resources. You are straining the system further. You are actively adding to others risk and suffering. And why?? Because "I want". I want, I want, I want. I don't really care what you want, while other NEED and can't have that met. Grow the hell up. 

And before anyone says "well, you don't know their circumstances. What if this is the only time they can? What if it's an oopsie? What if they can afford it!?". 

I don't care. I mean, I do care, but the point is wanting to get pregnant isn't a holy thing which can not be questioned. Im technically in that group too. Only time I could. I'd rather have my health care thanks, that can save my life, and that others who are alive get that too. I'd rather nurses like my brother not be working in dangerous circumstances to exhaustion, while a hunk of available health care providers are out on mat leave.  It's comical, in a very dark way. No one will die because they don't have a bio child. People ARE DYING without appropriate care, but who cares, I wanna baby?!? Screw these a holes. Honestly. 

" It's never a good time"...there are sure as hell bad times. I don't see how someone wanting should come before people literally being turned away with conditions they did not choose. 

Usually I'm much more moderate. It's not like I don't get there are special circumstances. But this is way beyond a few circumstances. Free condoms and birth control are widely available to most (always exceptions, but I'm not going into it, it's a given!). Free abortions. People make jokes like "what are we supposed to do while we can't do much? Play chess? Haha". No moron, have all the sex you want, it's good for you, just rubber up. 

Yeah I probably won't come back here for a while. I'm at my end. I only touched on one aspect of it. I didn't even rant about environmental impact while we teeter on the edge, the economy being in shambles and we haven't even started to see that poop show to full effect, the actual concern for babies being born since we know so little yet, and everything else. 

But I want. 

 

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I feel your frustration and I understand it, I really do. It's a very trying time for so many and yes, you are so right, the selfish ones are making it a million times worse.

I get upset about it too, I get angry, frustrated, anxious, even at times overwhelmed by it.

I have loved ones too who are older and could have a health crisis (non covid related) and because of all of those who have now decided to overwhelm the health care system due to their selfishness, there are going to be a lot of innocent people who will pay the ultimate price and it is so unfair!!

The best I can do to deal with it all...is walk away, shut off the computer, take deep breaths and spend time watching a movie or listening to music that allows me to shut the world out for a few hours, sometimes even a few days.

❤️

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So many people think of a baby almost like a fashion accessory.  And a lot of people also get pressured into having kids because they think that's what they're "supposed" to do.  I'm not defending those people.  It's a human life they are bringing into the world.  A lot of people don't consider the kind of world their baby is going to grow up in, etc. 

And it amazes me how many people just don't use protection.  I have heard so many people say things like, "Well birth control is a pain in the ass."  "Condoms take all the fun out of sex."  As far as condoms are concerned... even if someone isn't worried about getting pregnant they should at least be worried about diseases. 

Anyway, if you are gone for a while enjoy your time away.  I will miss your replies on my journal also.  🙂

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30 minutes ago, Cynder said:

So many people think of a baby almost like a fashion accessory.  And a lot of people also get pressured into having kids because they think that's what they're "supposed" to do. 

Fully agree C. 

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  • 2 months later...

Thank you for being awesome, you guys. 

I've been taking a big break from online, except for what I have to for work. And I'm probably going to stick with it, as it's making it easier to maintain my mental health. 

I hope everyone is doing ok. This place, the people who make up the backbone of it, you've seriously helped me more than you can ever really know. There are some incredible people here. People I'd love to get to meet, in person, and more than a few I'd love to give big hugs to. 

Thinking about how many years I've come to this forum, it's kind of mind blowing. From my 20s to my 40s, that's a really long time! The continuity of it has been comforting. I'd be sad if it was all gone. 

I'm not sure where I'm going with this. I guess I just want those who have made me feel seen, to know how much it has meant to me. I'm grateful for you. 

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10 hours ago, itsallgrand said:

I've been taking a big break from online, except for what I have to for work.

We've missed you around here, but that sounds awesome. I wish I would cut myself off online!

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