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itsallgrand
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Yes in that way you are so very lucky . Your own personal service almost ,that’s awesome ! I’m sure you will be great !

 

It sure is amazing to see long-term members going through different phases of life . :)

 

I know for myself when I got here my son was 8/9 and now he’s a grown-up well sort of ...

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I have this idea, see a need for, some vegan baking and cooking sites for non vegans.

 

-no long monologues about your life before the recipe

-truth about the differences in texture and taste

-do not include chia, hemp, coconut oil or milk, do not make it gluten free

-semi raw and or falling apart is not acceptable to present as a final product

-bowls and balls be gone

-will not use words like 'cheez' 'fakin' and the like

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I'm so proud of my brother. Had him over for Christmas yesterday, which was so nice. It was moms birthday. Usually we would all go to her house for Christmas Eve, celebrate her birthday, then stay over night for Christmas Day. This is our first mom birthday and Christmas without mom here. She would have been turning 60. My brother has to work today and Boxing Day, as he moved last year to come and help care for /be with mom and has been working less than a year at a different hospital and region. That means he gets the undesirable shifts, as he has no seniority at this location. Hence, working Christmas Day.

 

So he came to my place, we had a nice meal, exchanged presents, listened to Christmas music and talked. It was so good having him with me for that day. He was telling me about how many of the patients at his hospital have nobody close to them in their lives, how grateful he is for what he has, how many of them are older folk waiting to go into care homes.

We talked about and shared memories of all the things mom and dad gave us in our lives ( not big on the material, but huge on time with us, love, hugs, showing us about compassion and thinking of others). They were good people, and they loved us.. many never have that at all.

 

So we baked up an extra batch of cookies , wrapped them individually, and grabbed a bottle of wine and a bottle of liquor from my stash. He's taken those with him to work, to offer at least a treat and/or drink to those who would like and can at the hospital. He got the clear it is fine this morning, and texted me saying he got smiles when he mentioned it to them today. They'll take it with their dinners tonight.

 

What I'm so proud of is my brother is a genuinely caring person. He takes time to listen to people. He has massive patience. He cares even when there is nothing in it for him, when it would be easier not to, when he is dealing with his own pain too.

 

Merry Christmas everyone.

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  • 2 weeks later...

My mom is...pretty sick. She's sleep around 22 hours a day now. I keep thinking about you and your brother doing this...it's really hard...I'm thankful dad is there with her most of the time. I know I need to up my game...I'm only there 20 hours a week...so hard trying to take care of my business...my house, my husband and my daughter...I don't know how you did it.

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Faraday. So good to see you post, I think about you and your family wondering how you are doing.

I'm so sorry to hear that news about your mom. I'd give you so many hugs, and practical help, if I could. I hope you have lots of support and help.

It's been a year and I'm still not sure how I made it through that time. I had good supports. And remember too, I had the luxury of taking some time off work, and no young child to care for. I think I was running on mostly instinct and adrenaline for a while there.

 

You are a lovely warm strong person. I've admired so much who you are while doing all you do.

I know you've got the strength to get through this. I know it's really, really challenging. But I do believe in you.

 

Sending love. Feel free to write, any time. About anything.

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I've been putting off posting this, partially because I feel stupid, I feel it's hard to talk about, and I've been dealing with grief and recuperation. I had a miscarriage a while back. I feel like I need to post it because I stupidly posted so excited about the pregnancy and it feels weird having it hang here in my journal like that. And I do need to be able to post about my feelings - that's the whole purpose of this thing.

It was devastating. That's a strong word but emotionally, that's how it felt. I'm still putting myself back together , it took the wind straight out of me. My sleep is all out of order still. And I have to be so careful with that , as it took me so much work and struggle to get my sleep to a place where it wasn't a constant issue. The bad thoughts, nightmares, and not being able to sleep without dead quiet has been poking back up. And it's really difficult to get back to a very stringent routine because I live with somebody, and humans make noises, and plus there are still responsibilities to meet.but I'm working hard on it.

The doctor said there is no reason we can't try again,after the appropriate time from healing and once my period comes back etc. That's good news, but I am still not able to focus on that. The other good thing is my partner and I have a strong relationship, as terribly sad as we both were , we stuck together and are helping each other get through this. I'm grateful for 'us'.

But.. this has been very hard.

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iag, i am sorry for your loss, and for the abrupt disruption of expectations, rhythms, and personal power that comes with it. very glad to read that the two of you pulled together. ♡

 

when i had a miscarriage, i found comfort in the discovery that many people have been through this. If that is true for you, there you go: one more to add to the list.

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Oh sweetie I am so very sorry. It IS difficult. It takes time to heal. Just be kind and gentle and patient with yourself and your partner . I wouldn’t think about the future right now . Just take time to process the present . It is good you have a strong relationship that is so helpful . The emotional pain gets less and less .

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I'm so sorry itsallgrand. From my perspective, it's an honor to be allowed to share in your news, good and bad, and I hope this journal will continue to be helpful for you and not an added weight. I'm really glad your fiancé is there for you through all of this. Big hugs. Take care of yourself.

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Today, I took a bus home as my vehicle is being repaired. I sat near the front, directly behind a mom, her little boy, and the grandpa. They got on when I did.

A complete stranger, a woman looking no older than her thirties, was sitting in a seat right by us. She said to the man " good looking grand children you have there". He said "thank you, but there's only the one" . The woman said " well, he's good looking. I have six grand children, and another on the way. I tell my children 'procreate, procreate, procreate!' . Let's outbreed the whites and Donald Trump!"

The man said " please don't talk like that in front of my grandson".

 

That's why I hate the bus. So many want to spew their ugliness on people in a confined space. Bus drivers are scared of getting stabbed, so anything goes really. Gross is an understatement , it's downright unsafe and unsettling each time.

 

Next time I need to, I'll pay for a cab or get a ride some other way.

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