Not sure what happend, or what to do anymore

[buttsy]

I met this girl about 4 months ago. We fell very hard and fast for eachother. We have been through more in 4 months than most people have in 4 years. I know in my heart she is the one that i want to spend the rest of my life with. I never believed people that said that before i met her. Her dad passed away after a week of dating her. Mine passed when i was 8....On the same exact day thats so creepy. I helped her get through it, i stay up with her when she cries. Her uncle passed a month later. We were in a very bad car accident together 2 weeks ago. Amongst some other issues she has had in her past, i have helped and supported her to cope with them.

 

Well every since this car accident she had the blow up on me last week. Im very expressive with my feelings, she isnt so much, accept how she feels about me. Well she blew up said she didnt think we wanted the same things, she didnt know where we stood, threw the fact i play sports 4 nights a week at me saying i care more about them than work, or school, attacked me for not taking her parents garbage out. Just all this stuff i fealt attacked. Well come to find out she was on her period, stressed looking for a new car etc. We made up everything was great from monday - wednesday this week.

 

She has this ex boyfriend who she claims they didnt date long, but have known eachother for about 10 years, they are very good friends. I met him a few months back in a group setting, he gave me the stink eye the whole time. I know he still has feelings for her, she ofcourse doesnt see it.

 

One problem we have is we spend a lot of time together at her parents house, i spend the night most nights. She says we need more alone time. I agree, we grow closer when we are together. Well i have been trying for months to get a date with my own girlfriend. Something always comes up, her best friends mom passed on 4th of july so we didnt watch fireworks when we had plans too.

 

Well Thursday she was test driving a new car. She asked me to come look at it. I drove over, gave her my opinion. Then she said "I hope you dont mind i called (ex boyfriend) to come look at it. (his job is to test drive new cars and critique them.) is said whatever. I went inside took a shower then tried to nap while they were doing their thing. Im not mechanically inclined, so i didnt want to look like an idiot when she asked questions. She called me upstairs after 45 minutes. I thought he was gone. They have a big island in their kitchen to sit at. I had to sit in the middle of them. I tried to be the bigger man and say hi. He never responded. So after that i figured no reason to talk to him. It was very awkward for all involved. Later that night she told me the group of friends he is a part of wanted to go out this weekend, when ive tried to take her out. I cant tell her who she can hang out with. The problem is she says they are a tight knit group of friends who dont like new people. The next day she says shes not feeling well then taking a nap. Maybe later going out with friends. Keep in mind when we are together her bed time is 10:30. She texted me at 12:30 am saying im in his pool sorry if i dont respond. Well about 1am she calls says she wants me to come spend the night. I texted her on the way over figuring shed pass out before i got there. I asked if i could take her out the next day. She said well its my friends birthday. I asked if i could go, she said its her ex boyfriends birthday. They arent going out alone, but the fact im not included is shady. I never exclude her from my friends. She said she didnt want to add tension on his birthday. So this is going on a whole weekend of not really seeing her, shes spending time with her ex and their group of friends when im begging for alone time.

 

I told her, think about how that makes me feel. She agreed she would be upset, but insists that their relationship didnt last long, it was like dating her brother. She has been close with his family for years, and still hangs out with them.

 

My ? or questions are

 

Why is this happening, i know we spend a lot of time together but why is it so hard to get alone time with her?

 

Am i over reacting about this ex boyfriend?

 

Ive tried to give her space, but when i do she gets mad then says i dont care about her. Its a constant push pull thing. Im like a teddy bear who gets put on a shelf when she done. Im head over heels for this girl, what do i do?

[bulletproof]

Later that night she told me the group of friends he is a part of wanted to go out this weekend, when ive tried to take her out. I cant tell her who she can hang out with. The problem is she says they are a tight knit group of friends who dont like new people.

 

This would be unacceptable for me in a relationship. Her friends don't like new people? That is a terrible excuse to exclude her boyfriend. I would question why she is still friends with these people, and I think it says a lot about her character. If her friends didn't like you for a legitimate reason, maybe it would be different, but that's not what's happening here. I would also not be okay with her standing by and allowing her ex-boyfriend to be rude to you. She needs to tell both him and her other friends that they are out of line, and since she doesn't seem to do that, maybe it's best to move on.

[chickydoodle]

I do believe the ex is a brother kind of thing. She does enjoy his company, probably has affection for him....can you live with that?

 

She is defintely putting you on the bottom of her priority list in spite of everything you have done for her. The fact you are 'rolling over' and accepting it 'cos you are so crazy about her suggests she may always do this.

 

I would suggest you take a little break from her - if you have the strength to do this. Make her miss you. Make her want you..........

I think with someone like this, she needs to be taught to get her priorites in order.

 

No offence to your taste in women but she sounds extremely imature and selfish IMO

[jjp223]

This would be unacceptable for me in a relationship. Her friends don't like new people? That is a terrible excuse to exclude her boyfriend. I would question why she is still friends with these people, and I think it says a lot about her character. If her friends didn't like you for a legitimate reason, maybe it would be different, but that's not what's happening here. I would also not be okay with her standing by and allowing her ex-boyfriend to be rude to you. She needs to tell both him and her other friends that they are out of line, and since she doesn't seem to do that, maybe it's best to move on.

 

Yeah, it doesn't sound like she has very good friends. It also sounds like she's immature for not standing up for you when her ex is rude to you.

 

And I don't think you're over-reacting about her ex. I can actually totally relate. My boyfriend has an ex girlfriend. Their relationship was terrible and very unhealthy. It ended badly and he wants nothing to do with her. Logically, I know I have nothing to worry about... But I still want to slap her when she tries to contact him. It's a really long story and I won't get into it on your thread but to answer your question: no, you're not over-reacting.