I want to let go but can not

[aminaSa]

How do you let go when you cant? i realize it is over,i know it is i got my closure..and sometimes i feel great i want to meet new guys,but other times(like now) i just think about him and want to cry What can i do to stop this? i dont want to remember him neither in a bad way nor in a good way,i just want him out of my life..how long does that take?

 

Also,is it normal to think no one else will ever want you,and the ex is right that he left you? sometimes when things go bad i keep thinking that..Gosh

[ghengisT]

Find lots of hobbies. Read, post, and learn on here. Stay busy with school, and work. Make new friends. Buy a new car. Pamper yourself. Spend time with family.

 

I did all of that and much more in the 3 months I spent separated. It had been 4yrs, and I felt like I had forgotten how to talk to women. So I started skimming some PUA forums. Exceptional confidence booster. I managed to find 2-3 girls to date regularly and really got a comparison between my Ex.

 

Just when I finally felt like I was over her, I ran into her outside a bar. We've been patching things up over the last few months, so far so good.

[aminaSa]

For me it is not even that much anymore about him,more the fact that he rejected me,,, my pride got hurt and i feel like i am not worth anyone because of that.

 

Anyway i hope things are going well between you and your ex,i personally doubt i will ever get my ex back,i doubt we will ever talk again.We live in different countries and all..so it should be even easier,but it is not

[luvheart]

Its harder particularly if you have found someone you love so deeply, I once had an online relationship which ended after he had an affair and we were together online for 6 months and I was over him in less than a month and in comparison to my current bf we've only been together for 3 months and he had a one night stand even after nearly a fortnight, I was missing him and was hearing music with the words 'sorry' in them and 'give me another chance'. I loved him very much, he would be compared to a soulmate to me (but not the best guy for me) and after trying again its been 2 months and I can already see signs that things aren't going to work out due to too many complications, every relationship is never easy and comes with responsibilities, ups and downs and there's always a chance of heart break, tears of joy or sadness and even though what I say is easier said than done, having to take some of my own medicine in saying that, there is usually a light but you must take steps within yourself to move forward or you won't find a better someone for you and will be trapped within your despair and make yourself sick, never dive into a relationship too soon or it could rebound. It was 7 years for me between my two relationships.

 

All the best.

[aminaSa]

Thanks for your words i really hope that there is a light and that i will meet someone new soon,but till now it has been only him in my thoughts and i am sick of it.We were long distance and uswually that should make it easier for me to get over him but it has not

[engraved2008]

Thanks for your words i really hope that there is a light and that i will meet someone new soon,but till now it has been only him in my thoughts and i am sick of it.We were long distance and uswually that should make it easier for me to get over him but it has not

 

Im in same boat as u are....LDR,people say it is easier to forget them if they not close to u.Well in my case its not.he rejected em becasue he does not love me as much as i do.we suposse to see each other for His Birthday August 16....but he does nto want a relationship.....

[Lambert]

Im in same boat as u are....LDR,people say it is easier to forget them if they not close to u.Well in my case its not.he rejected em becasue he does not love me as much as i do.we suposse to see each other for His Birthday August 16....but he does nto want a relationship.....

 

I think LDRs can be harder to get over because you are so used to not being with them, it takes longer to realize they are not part of your life anymore.

 

As for the original post about getting over and moving on.... it takes time. Its definitely a roller coaster. Some days you feel really good, the next you don't want to get out of bed. But the good news is, the longer you go, the better it gets. NC is key and working on yourself, being kind to yourself, and surronding yourself with good friends and family.

[Di84]

You can't force letting go of someone. The only thing that willl do that for you is time. Keeping busy and hanging out with good people always helps for sure. In time, your heart will start to heal without you focusing on making it heal. The more time passes, the more you forget what it was like to be with him and your feelings become more and more detached. You will get there.

[sonicfan287]

True, on all the posts really...

 

I just look to add some outside support to them. Di84 is right on too... you can't FORCE something that just 'happens'. That was my problem all around, I pretty much 'forced' my ex to love me (unintentionally, through my clingy and anxious behavior) and pushed her away and everything I did to try to force myself to let go of her only made it harder... I'm still in that phase (4 months post BU) but much better now and that's where I have to agree with genghIst on doing things and getting yourself out there. It can hurt so much at first but getting through the initial pain is the hardest part and then things start to open up. Ive adapted many new routines into my life, to the point where I almost don't have time to think about her (notice how I said 'almost') and thats helped ease the process of "letting go", so it's not so much me doing anything, just that I'm the one going and she's not coming with me. I don't know if that helps for you to think about but that's how I think of it. She didn't leave me behind, she just went another way and I'm going somewhere else without her. Puts the control into my hands more even though I know it isn't

[aminaSa]

The worst part is we are in same town now,and everything reminds about him,i cry instead to enjoy my vacation.it feels like it never will end

[engraved2008]

Amina I feel ur pain.thats why is so hard for me to go to his town.it brings back the pain.try to talk to peple while u there.u know anyOne overthere ?