Live in GF left for another guy, brings him over all the time

[tlatg]

So I'll try to keep it short, I just want some advice to make sure I'm not completely crazy.

 

I'm a grad student and I was with my girlfriend for a little over 2.5 years, living together for almost 2 of those. Just recently (in May) we signed a lease with a friend who has lived with us for a while until july 2013 (all 3 of us on the lease). I had just finished my first year of grad school and was about to start an internship, things were going really well for me career wise. She was a manager at a restaurant, but 2 weeks before we were going to move in, she had some personal stuff happen and quit her job. she had a bunch of money saved up though so she could still afford it. other roommate makes a good amount of money.

 

so after my finals we move in, and im super busy with the internship, she's super bored now without a job, ends up going out a ton and partying. ive always trusted her. starts hanging out with a guy that likes her alot (and she knows it), and tells me, but starts sleeping over at his place like 5 nights a week. finally we talk about it and she says she has feelings for him too. i get frustrated and ask more questions, she gets angry and says shes going to go to his place, i say if you go we're through, and she goes anyway. so we break up.

 

so over the last 2 months they havent been "officially" together, and she keeps stringing me along. i moved back to my parents place temporarily and had to come up on weekends to work. i asked her not to bring him over, and she did anyway, several times. and then when he wasn't there, she would walk around naked and seduce me into ****ing her. i finally had to move back for good because of classes last week, and of course, she seduces me again, but then after tells me they have been ****ing (she said they weren't before). so after that apparently he has been showering and sleeping at our place, and started doing it while i was there. i even put on his underwear once on accident. so all this is traumatizing and decide that i need to leave. i signed a lease starting in august with my brother, but until then i got a sublease somewhere so i could move out.

 

So i'm glad i'm out of there, and aside from the intense pain and mixed signals i get from her (been NCing for a week), I'm still set to pay 2 rents for an entire year. I can't get a sublease on my room at the apartment because she's in there, and the other room is occupied by our roommate. it's too expensive for her to pay without me there, and i don't want to pay for 2 apartments. she's blaming me for moving out and says i'm the one making this a big deal... i dunno what to do. advice? thanks!

[duke nukem]

She sounds like a God damn fruit bat.

 

 

Stay away. Far. Away.

[Moontiger]

She sounds like a God damn fruit bat.

 

 

Stay away. Far. Away.

 

Agree, also, get some self control. Unless she tied you to a bed/put something in your drink/etc she cannot make you have sex with her. Get tested.

[FYI]

I agree with Duke, she has some really serious personal problems. These young girls, man, some of them are just really messed up in their head.

[gilmond]

Have sex with her best female friend this will piss her off like no tomorrow. How long is your rental agreement if you have to take her to court and make her pay for the apartment. Quit being such a nice guy and you will start getting what you deserve.

[MikNomis]

There's nothing left do, this girl is immoral and totally cheated on you, and is rubbing salt on the wound even now.

 

If it were me I'd ignore her forever and as for the lease at their place I'd post on craigslist for someone to fill in my space there. And I would hope that the person that fills in for me would be the worst roommate ever.

[tlatg]

Agree, also, get some self control. Unless she tied you to a bed/put something in your drink/etc she cannot make you have sex with her. Get tested.

 

I want to.. but shes the only one I've had sex with. And I kept telling myself "maybe things are turning around". I just wanted to be happy again. It just made things worse

But granted she's a smoking hot pacific islander and we have really good sex (or so she tells me lolol I'm such a loser)

[tlatg]

Have sex with her best female friend this will piss her off like no tomorrow. How long is your rental agreement if you have to take her to court and make her pay for the apartment. Quit being such a nice guy and you will start getting what you deserve.

 

That's actually ironic... one of the nights I was there she was going out and I just wanted to be alone and watch a movie, so I asked her not to bring him back to the apartment. She agrees, but comes back anyway, with her new guy and her best girlfriend, who is sobbing because her bf left her for another girl. This girl knows my situation and is totally drunk, so sits down next to me after walking in and starts asking me how to cope with the pain, with my ex and the guy still in the room. It was insane. We talked for a while and my ex and the guy ended up going into my room and locking the door. Like an hour later I get fed up and knock telling her they have to leave, she comes out and just starts sobbing. It was awful. I confronted the guy and he was dismissive and dismissive and they ended up leaving. The best friend stayed and wanted to have sex with me. I just cant though. Sex is important to me. She called me a *****

 

That **** sucked.

[MikNomis]

She's not loyal to you anymore, and it definitely looks like she never will again. Please cut yourself off from her. If you can't find the guts to do this, then prepare yourself for depression.

[figur]

Unless you still need to move stuff out there, don't ever go back to that apartment. If you still have things, schedule one trip to get it all. Cut off contact NOW.

 

Talk to your landlord at your old place. Get off the lease. There may be a fee, but it may be worth it rather than paying two rents. Just cut all financial contracts with her.

[tlatg]

She's not loyal to you anymore, and it definitely looks like she never will again. Please cut yourself off from her. If you can't find the guts to do this, then prepare yourself for depression.

 

I have cut her off as much as i possibly can, i still owe her some rent money because of all the money I spent on the deposit for my place starting in august and the 1 months sublease i'm doing in the meantime... not to mention the countless hours i've spent moving from place to place in the last month. I blocked her on FB, never text/call, ignore text/calls (unless its "business" related), but i still have to go over there for some mail still coming in to that address, and we still have to split some stuff up... we live in a very small college town so it's pretty easy to run into people, so that's always on my mind (even though it's probably unlikely unless i want it to happen that we'll see each other). it's just constant shaking, stress (internship + weekend job + 2 grad level classes), sadness, and complete lack of concentration. I've tried to go meet other girls, but I just can't get interested in them. I've been trying to work out too, and that's been helping.

 

I know in my mind I need her completely cut off and out of my life, but she keeps guilting me.. and my brain doesn't want her gone either. trying not to think about her is like trying not to think about a green elephant. i don't know how much of this turmoil is like a dysfunctional depression and how much of it is just a normal reaction. it's almost as if i'm worried that it could be dysfunctional so i get anxious about that as well.