SSJlee28 Posted July 5, 2012 Posted July 5, 2012 Hi, I realized my story is kind of too long, and not many people will probably look into it (it's still on the first page if you would like a read). But just had this thought in my mind and wanted to discuss this. Many people around me has told me if you guys are truly meant to be, or if you guys truly loved each other, you guys will always come back together. In your opinions, what is true love? How do you know if you truly love someone and not love them because you dont want to be alone? How do you know that your significant other truly loves you? How do you know if you guys are meant to be? In my opinion: I've been with a girl for 7 years. 1 year in high school where we were each other's high school sweethearts ( she was a grade higher ), and 4 years of LDR while I was gone for university. 3 years of a close distance relationship. I never lost attraction to her, not even one bit. I gained more attraction and love for her if anything. I was always worried when she was out of town without me (good thing and bad thing), nearly completely loyal to her (except one girl who tried to steal me away from her, which I denied right away), always cared for her. But my biggest problem was me being lazy and not being able to be there for her. I know she truly loves me because, even now, she is still in love with me, just that she can't be with me right this moment. she put 110% into our relationship, to fix it, but I simply ignored it. She wanted our parents to meet. We were always ___ & ____. Never referred to as one separate from another. I still believe that we did and still do truly love each other.
PJK Posted July 5, 2012 Posted July 5, 2012 I personally think "meant to be" is a load of crap. When you say that, it's like taking all the personal responsibility. Like you have no control over it. The two of you and only the two of you have control over your relationship. You both have to work at it for it to be successful or it will just run its course like it seems to have done. When someone says "if its meant to be its meant to be" it means they have given up... I was absolutely guilty of this a while back, and have definitely wised up since.
OptomisticGirl Posted July 5, 2012 Posted July 5, 2012 In your opinions, what is true love? How do you know if you truly love someone and not love them because you dont want to be alone? How do you know that your significant other truly loves you? How do you know if you guys are meant to be? True love is unconditional love, the kind of love were you love that person for both the good and bad in them, you love them in their best moments and you still love them in their absolute worst moments. How you know is up to each individual person. I know I truly love my husband because I love all the faces he has: caring, compassionate, sarcastic, head headed, long tempered, funny, a softie at heart... I love every piece of him, even if one of those pieces may not be my favourite. I know my husband truly loves me because he SHOWS me. He doesn't just tell me every day but shows me every day (even from 4,000 miles away). I don't know if we are meant to be. We entered this marriage with the HOPE and FAITH we are meant to be but we don't believe simply because we are married (or in love) that we automatically have beaten the odds. Marriage/relationships are a constant work and constant evolution - you are not the same person you were when you were 16 so why would you approach your relationship as staying the same over the course of a lifetime? However that's how we choose to look at us as a couple.
pl3asehelp Posted July 5, 2012 Posted July 5, 2012 'Meant to be' is a phrase used by people who don't take responsibility for their actions or even feel that they should have to.
Kristenelaine Posted July 5, 2012 Posted July 5, 2012 I think if 2 people want to be together, they will be. But it takes both people. Remember that you can only control who you are, what you do, and how you live. "Meant to be" is something people say to make us single people feel better. To me, a happy and healthy relationship happens when 2 people compliment eachother and have great energy together. Thay can communicate and say what's on their mind and in their heart at all times with no judgement. True love...to me this means that when 2 people have put up with eachothers crap, been through ups and downs, "thick and thin", and still want to see each other at the end of the day..they allow each other to grow as individuals so that their unit and foundation are strong. I really believe that if you want a happy, healthy, and interesting relationship. You have to stay in one. It always takes 2 =)
Sportster2005 Posted July 6, 2012 Posted July 6, 2012 "Many people around me has told me if you guys are truly meant to be, or if you guys truly loved each other, you guys will always come back together." This is fairy tale thinking. The best way to determine if you are in love or just afraid of being alone is to ask yourself. We can't lie to ourselves. True love is a figure of speech and means different things to different people. I think it is redundant. Since there is no false love it is unnecessary to identify a love as 'true'. Even if someone is lying to you, it is not false love. It is deception. "Meant to be" implies there is some reason beyond your control. Some destiny preordained for us to follow. It depends on your belief system. I believe we meet someone through a combination of effort and chance. I don't believe these things are preordained. I think people can get themselves in trouble by using 'meant to be' as a justification for an action or intention. "Not meant to be" is the opposite of the above. It simply isn't preordained. I find this usage a little more troubling. People use this as an excuse to absolve themselves of responsibility. I'm dumping you, it's just not meant to be. Regardless of semantics you have probably lost this woman. (Parenthesis no matter how useful should never be used.)
SSJlee28 Posted July 6, 2012 Author Posted July 6, 2012 I agree. Meant to be is a fairy tale. Unconditional love is hard to achieve. But I feel I did unconditionally love in the end. I loved her in ever single ways. From when she got up in the morning to before she went to sleep. I loved every part of her, inside and outside. When we broke up, we kept an option open that we may still be together later on in life. Whether that comes in few months or years, I don't know for sure... It's so hard to say. I need to somehow get over it. SHe kept saying if one truly loves another and the other reciprocates, we will be together again... I need to let go of this hope somehow so I can move on.. for the chance of a new relationship with another person, or her. I do believe in true love. You work yourself with the significant other to become "meant to be", however fairy tale-ish that sounds.
cocoon2012 Posted July 6, 2012 Posted July 6, 2012 Hi everyone Few points is coming into my mind...First we are human beings and not human doing...this means our main task in our life is to be "who we are"...there are situations or people who will take us from us..our task then will be to stay who we are and as we become in-formed with our true nature we will be trans-formed towards our higher beings>>>>,..so when situations, people and our own doings take us from us we are no more who we truly meant to be...but it is only our true being that attracts its true opposit... It is a self organizing universe and the whole dance of opposites takes place independent of what we do!>>we onley can learn the game and "BEING" a part of universal laws....True LOVE is also about living our differences and diversity of beings>>Diversity is the only mean that will let us "FALL" for eachother and living a full and dynamic life .It is totally different than living our similarities, and comfort zone!>>
ZhaoZilong5 Posted July 6, 2012 Posted July 6, 2012 I don't think true love exists. I always thought love was basically treating your SO as your second self. You'd do anything for them and want the best for them. Unfortunately, love doesn't exist anymore. It's full of these stupid games where you can't love them too much or else you push them away. Stupid games like hiding your real emotions (essentially lying to yourself and your SO) to keep them attracted. These days, it's called being a doormat, yet people wonder why chivalry is dead lol. It'd be one thing if they wanted somebody who's true to her/his emotions. The same people who say they do end up subconsciously playing the game anyway.
gotanewbeat Posted July 6, 2012 Posted July 6, 2012 to me, true love is when you wake up next to someone and you feel safer than you've ever felt in your life. when simply looking at them, and seeing their smile, can make your day better regardless of what's happened. when you can tell that person anything, and they can tell you anything, without fear of being judged. when being with them comes naturally and you don't have to change anything about who you are or what you do because that person just... fits. love shouldn't be work, and you shouldn't have to constantly feel like you're having to make adjustments in your life to accommodate that person. when that person compliments your life rather than changes it. when you can be entirely honest with one another about who you are, how you feel, and what you want out of life. when you're both willing to compromise out of respect for one another rather than a sense of duty, and when you can forgive and forget without resentment. when you strive to be a better person because you want to be for your partner, not because your partner expects you to be better. when they are both an inspiration to you and a comfort. it's a very, very, very tricky thing though because it leaves everyone vulnerable to being hurt, and a lot of other emotions disguise themselves as love pretty easily which ends up in heartbreak.
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