4 months!! might as well be 4 days

[One day]

Title says it all, 4 months since bu and this afternoon just a nose dive in the emotions, feeling just as raw when it was only 4 days.

 

I suppose what with it being her birthday today has probably got something to do with it.....pfft. Don't know why but I texted her this morning saying " Happy Birthday, have yourself a wonderful day x" tbh when I sent it I was totally prepped for no response, but couple of hours later I get a reply saying "Thanks." but that has just seemed worse, my brain has done nothing but churn those six letters over and over "Thanks" that's it "Thanks" nothing more, nothing less. What should of I expected? That's the thing...... I guess nothing more but why has it sucker punched my emotions this afternoon.

 

I guess the comparison of this time last year and present day has something to do with it, also the demeanour in her responses to texts we have had to have the last month regarding me picking up my things have gone from friendly to emotionless and cool to non existent an almost overnight change which has proven just as heart wrenching as the bu.

 

Don't get me wrong I have always kept communication polite and free from any bitterness. I guess I am just a faded memory to her now, more of an irritant now...... Maybe?

 

Tsk all so confusing, all so draining.

 

OD

[supermosey]

I think while it sucks right now you will rebound faster in your emotions since it has been 4 months. I have been in exact same place reliving how good things were "last year". If there was only such a thing as time travel.

She did however respond.. Would it hurt to maybe text later in the week and see if she did anything fun... You might be able to read where she is --good or bad. If it's too painful just keep pushing on and know it will get better.

[laura-j]

Yeah give yourself a few days to decide to contact her. That's what i'm doing now, been a month and I want to do nothing more than call or text or whatever... If you still feel that way in a few days and it won't mess you up if you don't get the reaction you don't want do it, or you might not feel like contacting her at all then...

 

In a way I want to contact mine and have him be a jerk, it would be so much easier!!!

[One day]

I think while it sucks right now you will rebound faster in your emotions since it has been 4 months. I have been in exact same place reliving how good things were "last year". If there was only such a thing as time travel.

She did however respond.. Would it hurt to maybe text later in the week and see if she did anything fun... You might be able to read where she is --good or bad. If it's too painful just keep pushing on and know it will get better.

 

Sure does suck and I'm sure come tomorrow I would of settled down again (please) I know she did respond which I guess is something and it hasn't taken her usual 7 days to reply like she has to my last couple of messages (one upmanship maybe?) But I won't be texting her asking if she did anything fun as I already kinda know what she probably did and that is celebrate her Birthday with the person she traded me in for.

C'est la vie as far as she is concerened I don't know about her new toyboy..................but I do but just haven't had the cojones to confront her as well once it's done it's done whats the whole point, nothing can be undone. Do I want a person like that, does anyone want a person like that. Logic says no. no, NO but logic falls by the wayside sometimes in life and this forum is testament to the poor sods like me who get burnt but still amble through the twilight of the aftermath torch in hand.

 

Another thing is the curse of FB, plenty of threads about that going round at the moment and again logic states that I should unfriend her pronto, but when your whole dating history is on her timeline complete with phtos of you grinning like a loon with your arm firmly wrapped round her it throws a mind swerve ball into the chaos again. Maybe it doesn't bother her or she looks at it as "care in the community" gesture. But from nonplussed texts to FB it just tires me out and drags me down. Honestly some days I wish I had never laid eyes on her and carried on my life as a single person.

 

K rant over.

 

OD

[FreeFallFeelin]

I feel you One Day. It was the same for me at month 4. In fact, it got worse around that time (sorry). That was the point at which it REALLY set in that the ex is gone forever. She ain't coming back, she isn't gonna check in to see if I'm doing okay, she isn't pining for me, etc. They call that point "acceptance", and it hurts like hell. Totally normal though, so at least you have that!

 

I have a theory why we see so many come back to post an "I've healed" thread about one year after their breakup. My theory is that after a breakup, you're redefining life without the ex, and each season, each holiday, each milestone is a memory trigger being experienced under a new state of being - heartbroken. It's like when you first started dating you're thinking "just think of all the fun things we'll do this summer...". But now it's "I remember all the fun things we used to do in the summer...".

 

No more texting your ex! She/they (dumpers), don't give a damn, so don't give them the satisfaction of having your attention anymore!

[secondchance67]

It really all depends on your perspective.

 

You have 2 choices:

 

1.

You wallow...feel sorry for yourself...do virtually nothing with the gift of time you have been given except spend it ruminating on her, her actions, analyzing the hell out of the word "thanks" and so on....you in essence, have wasted 4 months, running on your own self inflicted hamster wheel of emotional turmoil.

 

2. You stop. YOU STOP. You stop all the BS right now - block/delete FB, stop the stalker-ish type stuff and decide, once and for all, to take your damn life back....take it back from the hands of a ghost, take it back from the ashes of that dead R/S...take it back for you...for you...FOR YOU.

You realize, right this minute, that every precious second you waste on her is just that...WASTED. She is gone. She doesn't care about you or what you had...she is moving on with her life...a choice she made...an action to leave you, to remain distant...silent...cold and indifferent.

Actions speak louder than words....so pay close attention to hers.....she left you...she made her choice....actions....choices....

 

So which is it going to be?

 

Option#1 - where you continue to waste your life on the past, ignoring the possibility of a brighter future?

 

or

 

Option#2 - where you break away - rebuild - start over - and make the choice to get over this......let you lack of words be your action...let your silence speak volumes....let her live a life without you in it, and you do the same.......actions....choices.......

 

 

It really is up to you.