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Issues with being clingy?


kgirl08

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Posted

My boyfriend and I have been dating 9 months. Currently we are living 3 hours apart thanks to not being in school. This weekend I was at his house and I happened to see a text message where a friend had asked how I was. He responded "I'm confused about her she's being super clingy". When I asked him about it he said to not worry about it. If there was a problem we wouldnt be in a relationship right now. I can't figure it what this means. When we're together everything is great. I know I want to be with him, but sometimes I feel like I worry too much. I told him I'd stop bothering him as much as I have, but where do I draw the line between not being a bother and still feeling like I'm in a relationship?

Posted

Maybe he felt like you stalked him because you saw that message? But at least you were honest about it and there's really something that bothers him... Why doesn't he clarify that? Can you two easily talk about other feelings and things on your minds? That's very important in a relationship.

Posted

It simply means your supper clingy. Maybe try spending less time with him, once or twice a week unless he ask to see you more and don't text him a lot. Let him initiate more text.

Posted

I'm also clingy, but I have managed to stay in relationships by trying to find balance. Also, I'm upfront about my clingy behaviour and talk about it before moving in together.

 

Does your BF have any advice as to what you could do to help him feel more comfortable with your clingyness, or is he just glossing over that text?

 

It's one thing to be "clingy" but another to be passive aggressive (which is what your BF is being by denying any problems after you saw that text)

 

A direct answer from him would be more helpful.

Posted

I do agree that I have been clingy. I'm living at my parents right now because it's summer and I have no friends here so I text constantly. I told him that I'd back off some and leave it up to him. I kind of want to discuss this more with him, but I don't know.

Posted

Don't discuss it with him more.

 

You know you are clingy and you know what you are doing. The simplest answer is to stop it, first and foremost. Hold yourself to your own word and let him text you first/reduce the number of texts per day. Make sure you work on getting friends where you are first. Get a life outside of him.

 

If he dumped you for being clingy, you would have to do that anyway.

Posted

He thinks you are clingy. 'Nuff said.

 

I would, for the good of yourself and not just the relationship, start to do things more on your own and develop your social life more without him. It will make you happier in the long-run since you guys are long distance right now.

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