Ladytmt Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 Why does the other woman always win and ride off into the sunset with men that are taken??? He was my boyfriend for almost 2 years but I knew him since high school. We didn't have any kids. He started an emotional affair with her while we were together and I caught her at his house in his bed. He said she knew about me, so a day later I sent her a Facebook message and told her to have some respect and leave him Alone. I stayed with him.Can u believe 3 weeks later he called me at work and asked me why I sent her that then broke up with me! Now they are engaged!!!!
The_Seeker Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 Well if he divorces her and wants to get back to you, make sure you KNOW not to go with him.
Ladytmt Posted July 4, 2012 Author Posted July 4, 2012 Hopefully a miracle will happen and something better will present itself
metrogirl Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 I recently read a quote "If a girl ever steals your man, there's no better revenge than letting her keep him. REAL men can't be stolen."
HeartGoesOn Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 She won the heart of a guy who cheats on his girlfriend. What kind of bargain is that?
FYI Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 I'm not really sure what she won as you referred in your post. She got the absolute worse vaseline deal of the contract. She got a cheater and a guy who cannot uphold his commitment in a relationship. So what in the world will he be like in a marriage? A disaster. And now that you know that about him, she can have every bit of him. I do agree with him on one thing, you should have never sent that woman a note through facebook. Never fight for a man that's disrespectful or cheating on you. Never. I've seen it before, women battling via facebook and emails about who's man is who's and he ain't coming home to you B, he's coming back with me. All of that and he's sitting over there in the corner with a grin accross his face. Instead of the two women united, side by side on the underlining issue (the guy's a cheat and liar to you both) they're rolling on the ground with each other, getting dirty. His clothes are clean. That's bullcrap, OP, so let her have him. If it was that easy for him to just leave you like that, let him ride off into the sunset.
Messiah Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 I think it's interesting how people in your situation often become so upset at the other woman and not the man.. Focus your detest on the guy. He was the one you put trust in, he's the one who blew your trust. He's the one who disregarded you and played you. There's usually always going to be opportunities with an "other woman" in any relationship, the only security you'd have is TRUST in your man to know he is respectable or decent enough to turn down those opportunities and other women. He's weak for sex and doesn't respect you, if you want a monogomous relationship it's obviously not going to happen with this guy. Don't e-stalk the other women, just let him go! Let her have him, he'll eventually do the same thing to her one day. Seriously, she probably doesn't even know what she's getting herself into, but who cares? She's just a stranger to you, let it be. And "why does the other woman always win?" you ask. Well, face it, guys like the excitement of new things or partners. Hell so do women. Humans in general. Some people just have better self control and respect for others than your ex did. Remember that "lust" feeling, the thrill of the chase? That's something some people just want to experience over, and over, and over again.
Moontiger Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 He will do the same thing to her in time. Thank her to high heaving for taking a huge bag of garbage off your hands.
Ladytmt Posted July 4, 2012 Author Posted July 4, 2012 I recently read a quote "If a girl ever steals your man, there's no better revenge than letting her keep him. REAL men can't be stolen." I love this!! Thanks! It gave me a much needed smile!
Ladytmt Posted July 4, 2012 Author Posted July 4, 2012 He will do the same thing to her in time. Thank her to high heaving for taking a huge bag of garbage off your hands. Thanks! I just have to concentrate on believing this and stop blaming myself and beating myself up trying to figure out how this happened!
Ladytmt Posted July 4, 2012 Author Posted July 4, 2012 She won the heart of a guy who cheats on his girlfriend. What kind of bargain is that? U r right, but I guess all I can seem to think is that she got the ring and i didn't! And I still have the what did I do mentality!
metrogirl Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 Thanks! I just have to concentrate on believing this and stop blaming myself and beating myself up trying to figure out how this happened! He is what happened, he's a donkey plain and simple. She is a donkey too if she knew about you and slept with him anyway but that is besides the point. Time to find peace within yourself and just know that there are still good men out there that don't behave that way.
metrogirl Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 U r right, but I guess all I can seem to think is that she got the ring and i didn't! And I still have the what did I do mentality! HA, she got a ring from sleeping with a guy that had a gf. I wonder just how long that ring will be on her finger before he's bed hopping again.
Ladytmt Posted July 4, 2012 Author Posted July 4, 2012 I understand your point but I just told get to have some respect if a man tells u he's involved no type of fighting words. But for him to use that in front of the whole speech to break up with me over the phone was Low. And back to her her mom is divorced because her dad was a cheater and went and got another woman pregnant so I can't understand why another female would be that disrespectful to see someone go through what her own mom went through.
Ladytmt Posted July 4, 2012 Author Posted July 4, 2012 HA, she got a ring from sleeping with a guy that had a gf. I wonder just how long that ring will be on her finger before he's bed hopping again. Lol! I guess that's all it takes these days! I tried to do the right thing. I was loyal to him. He was even deployed for 4 months, while I'm here being loyal to him he was having a cyber affair with her. He met her a few months before he was deployed and they got to know each other through email while he was gone. Air force scum!!!
RitaTrue Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 Why does the other woman always win and ride off into the sunset with men that are taken??? He was my boyfriend for almost 2 years but I knew him since high school. We didn't have any kids. He started an emotional affair with her while we were together and I caught her at his house in his bed. He said she knew about me, so a day later I sent her a Facebook message and told her to have some respect and leave him Alone. I stayed with him.Can u believe 3 weeks later he called me at work and asked me why I sent her that then broke up with me! Now they are engaged!!!! I'm sorry you're experiencing this. I can only imagine the heartbreak after this much time you've invested with him. You're focusing on the wrong person. It's not that "the other won". It's that your boyfriend decided to cheat on you with someone else and decided to choose her instead. If your boyfriend was faithful, he'd stay faithful. But because he had long left the relationship with you, it was easier for him to stay with her. Personally, don't worry too much. Karma will take a chunk out of both of them. Hard. Here's two interesting questions: If you saw they were sleeping together, why did you HER instead of him? If you know that he cheated on you, why did you stay with him?
RitaTrue Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 I recently read a quote "If a girl ever steals your man, there's no better revenge than letting her keep him. REAL men can't be stolen." I've heard of a quote too: "If a guy cheated with you, he'll cheat ON you." Nothing like a slice of karma pie.
ParisPaulette Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 I have to agree with the other posters here, the other woman didn't win anything but a cheating rat who broke up with you once you caught him red-handed in the act. Who, oh yeah, will eventually do the same thing to her. I know it doesn't feel like it now, and they look really happy and are "engaged" but the day will come when she's no longer new to him. And then there'll be yet another woman to "win" him from her--although no one is getting anything where he's concerned except the booby prize. Use this time and the experience to learn what red flags were there since they almost surely were there all along, possibly even from the beginning. No guy lets himself be "won" away from the woman he's with unless he's either so insecure and pathetic that he'll follow whoever pays him a bit of attention or he was never that into the relationship in the first place and is a cheater by nature. Look at it another way - why do the losers always end up together? Since that's what they both are for cheating when they knew you were in the picture.
Ladytmt Posted July 4, 2012 Author Posted July 4, 2012 I'm sorry you're experiencing this. I can only imagine the heartbreak after this much time you've invested with him. You're focusing on the wrong person. It's not that "the other won". It's that your boyfriend decided to cheat on you with someone else and decided to choose her instead. If your boyfriend was faithful, he'd stay faithful. But because he had long left the relationship with you, it was easier for him to stay with her. Personally, don't worry too much. Karma will take a chunk out of both of them. Hard. Quote: Originally Posted by If you know that he cheated on you, why did you stay with him? Quote: Originally Posted by CarrieT After finding her in his bed, why would you want to keep him? Sounds like you are better off without... I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt although it may have been dumb of me but When I caught her she was fully dressed and just laying accross his bed watching tv. I asked him why she was in his bedroom and he said that's where she felt comfortable, and he swore up and down he didn't sleep with her Share
Ladytmt Posted July 4, 2012 Author Posted July 4, 2012 Exactly, seems like the closer they got the more arguments we had! Sometimes I think he's engaged just to prove a point and make people think he's not an insecure cheater and that I wad the crazy one!
Messiah Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 He sounds like a total skeeze, don't give him the benefit of doubt ever again. Even if things don't work out with he and his new lady... Don't let him come back, he's a loser!
Ladytmt Posted July 4, 2012 Author Posted July 4, 2012 I've heard of a quote too: "If a guy cheated with you, he'll cheat ON you." Nothing like a slice of karma pie. Very good quote! I hear that karma is truly a b&$@@
Ladytmt Posted July 4, 2012 Author Posted July 4, 2012 He sounds like a total skeeze, don't give him the benefit of doubt ever again. Even if things don't work out with he and his new lady... Don't let him come back, he's a loser! Understood, I've even had other men tell me not to take him back. Hopefully by then someone real will have my mind occupied!!!
Citlali Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 I sent her a Facebook message and told her to have some respect and leave him Alone. You should have sent that message to your boyfriend. If anyone was totally disrespectful, despicable, low, and needed to stop that behavior, etc. it was him. He owed you honesty, respect, love, and fidelity. He was YOUR boyfriend. Now, I know girls get mad at the "other woman" (totally understandable), but the problem is that if he weren't a piece of work to begin with, you wouldn't have trouble with another woman at all.
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