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Too much thinking time!!!


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Posted

Sorry if this seems like a bit of a re-hash of one of my previous threads/posts, but last night I got to thinking...

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I have had a lot of thinking time at the moment...

 

No close friends that live nearby, no job, so no money to take myself out to the pub or anywhere else..When I go for my daily 4-5 mile walks, this also serves as thinking time, wish it didn't but it does..Anyway my ex wanted to exchange belongings, which was done last week, but she has still been making contact on one pretext or another, the last one was about an item that she took 2 days to realise wasn't here, even though it was something she asked for specifically when arranging the exchange. I told her it was here, so she then said don't worry about the so and so, bin it I'm getting new anyway...I replied that she shouldn't buy anything new if she has it already as she can't afford it (Just showing that I care about her welfare)....Then nothing until yesterday, I was on a mutual friends Facebook page, and I noticed that my ex wasn't on there, but our mutual friends comments were still referencing her as if they were having a chat via a wall posts.

 

I then received a mail, from a new email account from my ex, she asked when was I going to get this item back to her, I asked why she had blocked me, and she said that she'd tried to send a PM on Facebook to me, but it looked like I had stopped that line of communication between us (This was the only line of contact she would use), and I was getting funny with her, so she blocked me (Throwing dolly from the pram). I told her that I had no reason to be funny with her, I'm being mature and the bigger person here, accepting the break up and showing her that I'm not pining after her...Yes I do still love her immensely, and would have her back in a heartbeat, though I'm not showing her this either, I would like her to miss me, and for her to want to be back with me, it has to be her decision not mine. I'm am in NIC, although she asked for NC..I haven't contacted her, except once 2 months ago, she asked me not to so I have respected her wishes..

 

Then last night she asked when I would take this item to her, I said I would get it there, but not sure when...I'm not going to jump when she says so, and defiantly not going to say how high either. She has to put more effort in to this, I'm just wondering whether she actually wants to see me, as a last week, she told me that she couldn't see me because she felt there would be trouble, (my family being here, and having a pop at her) even though we're not together I still wouldn't let anybody hurt her. Just for the record I haven't spoken to any of my family for nearly a year, as they don't get on with my ex. (you can't choose your family...lol). Now though she is actively asking me to go over that way, not too far from where I live but in a different town, so there is no way we can 'accidently' bump in to one another. What would you think, as some of the messages/mails I have had from her look like she is baiting the waters, but then not casting in to it..

 

Everything she seems to be doing seems to be contrary with what she says she wants, like:

 

A: No Contact, but then sending messages/mails on the 'Exchange' firstly but that has been done now, so it seems to be another reason or something.

 

B: Removed all my contact details from her phone, PC, and online email contacts directory. But then I still get email, SMS messages, and IM (No calls)

 

C: Not wanting to see me but asking for me to take this item over to her, and before that asking me to take all her belongings over, even offering to pay for a hire van.

 

D: Blocking on Facebook because she thinks I have a problem with her, when I say that there is no reason for me to have a problem, she unblocks me. I think the Facebook business is just so as she can cyber stalk me, as I can't see anything on her wall, except when she changes her cover picture, so I don't bother looking.

Posted

Good afternoon,

 

Well here's is another one from me, this is an update..

 

In the post I originally wrote I omitted to say one thing, a week or three ago, my ex posted a video to me on Facebook messenger, I watched it but didn't respond to it. The next day I got an IM to say "Sorry about the vid, that was meant for ********, and I posted it to you instead, by mistake" This was a friend of hers, whom had been a friend of mine for over 2 years before I introduced them to each other. Her friend seems very fickle, as I'm no longer in any contact with her, and she has become best friends with my ex...Not that, that matters to me..I asked why she just didn't post this straight to ********'s wall, and she said that it was not the type of video she would post to a wall on Facebook...That is phooey as she used to post them on my wall, and other friends walls too, (it wasn't sexual or violent, just a silly video)...

 

Anyway, yesterday I received another one on my messenger, again I haven't responded to it, and won't unless she asked why, but I may get another IM saying the same as before..

 

What I would like to know is she putting some feelers out, or is she playing a psychological game with me..Trying to stay in the picture, so she can feel better about herself...Please Ladies of the forum, could you shed any light on this...And Gents has anyone played a game similar to this on you? I'm getting better and stronger by the day, but I would still reconcile if she gave the green light, albeit, slowly at the beginning as jumping in without working together for a stronger relationship, would cause it to fail again.

Posted

Those don't look like feelers... Those are definitely signs that while she doesn't want to commit, she doesn't want you to forget her. How immature is that? If she respected you, she wouldn't play these stupid "oh, sent it to the wrong person" games... come on. Have some self-respect even if she doesn't have any.

Posted

Thanks BrickHeart, I'm not rising to it, if she does want to reconcile then she needs to work a lot harder than anything she's doing. I know she won't forget me, as she told me she had never felt loved the way I loved her, and she'd never loved anyone the way she loved me..I have respect for myself, and I am not contacting her..The messages are increasing, as the first couple of weeks I was getting one a week, even though she asked for NC...I was going that way anyway, I learnt my lesson with all the begging, pleading and crying over the phone when my ex wife left me over 6 years ago. So now if she wants to come back, she has to make all the running. Not once since the initial break up have I said anything about love or missing her, I am Mr. Mystery to her now...lol

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