Is prostitution just another service, like hiring an electrician?

[shadowplay]

...I was chatting with some friends and friends-of-friends the other day, and this came up (that was putting aside those who have been trafficked and the like).

 

What do others think?

[Wayfara]

For some buying sex might be like hiring an electrician but I wouldn't be attracted to someone who saw sex as a service. I think it depends on the person in question, what their values are.

[Moontiger]

My friends and I where talking about this recently, this is what we concluded.

 

The main problem with prostitution that I see (aside from A LOT of other stuff) is that if a person is allowed to sell your body opens the door being able to sell YOURSELF to another person, i.e. something akin to indentured servitude. If you can sell your body for a price what is the real difference from allowing people (who for the purpose of this example, enters into out of their own free will) to sell their entire selves to another person.

 

So, imo, no, not lie hiring an electrician.

[shadowplay]

My friends and I where talking about this recently, this is what we concluded.

 

The main problem with prostitution that I see (aside from A LOT of other stuff) is that if a person is allowed to sell your body opens the door being able to sell YOURSELF to another person, i.e. something akin to indentured servitude. If you can sell your body for a price what is the real difference from allowing people (who for the purpose of this example, enters into out of their own free will) to sell their entire selves to another person.

 

So, imo, no, not lie hiring an electrician.

 

I sympathise with your argument but I find it difficult to draw the line. For example, I have gone several times to receive a back massage, which I consider a service like any other service. And that service is conducted, primarily, by 'renting' a person's two hands and the skill set they have in using those two hands to alleviate my back pain. Is that different from a woman (or man, for that matter) using sexual organs to bring on someone's orgasm?

[shadowplay]

For some buying sex might be like hiring an electrician but I wouldn't be attracted to someone who saw sex as a service. I think it depends on the person in question, what their values are.

 

Yes, that's kind of what I'm wondering - is it primarily a value based question based on how you view sex.

[DrkRaven]

Um, I guess its just a service. I mean, notone i would use, but i guess if sex isnt that "intimate" for you then yeah it is.

For me, im like my dad in this matter, for a woman who has done that with alot of men, "i wouldnt screw her with someone else's p3nis"

[Applewhite]

Depends on which country/state you live in!

[Moontiger]

I sympathise with your argument but I find it difficult to draw the line. For example, I have gone several times to receive a back massage, which I consider a service like any other service. And that service is conducted, primarily, by 'renting' a person's two hands and the skill set they have in using those two hands to alleviate my back pain. Is that different from a woman (or man, for that matter) using sexual organs to bring on someone's orgasm?

 

Well that's true for everything right? Do you technically hire everyone's body when your hire them? It depends on where you draw the line. Hiring as a sex worker is where I draw the line. Its degrading to the workers in away that no other industry is, and most of the woman who go into that line of work have experiences some kind of sexual trauma in their life.

[Seraphim]

It is gross it is thought of that way.

[shadowplay]

Um, I guess its just a service. I mean, notone i would use, but i guess if sex isnt that "intimate" for you then yeah it is.

For me, im like my dad in this matter, for a woman who has done that with alot of men, "i wouldnt screw her with someone else's p3nis"

 

Yes, I see. Would it matter to you (or your dad) whether a woman had received payment for it or not? I mean, is a woman who has 'been around' through casual sex 'better' or 'worse' than one who has required payment for it?

[BrianH46]

It depends on the circumstances, if one is forced into prostitution at a young age due to external factors then I feel it is wrong on so many levels. When you look at the girls at bunny ranch in Nevada you don't really get the same sense of wrong as else where. These women are interviewed and hired, they are protected by laws, have health benefits, are taxed, and get paid quite niceley. Vastly different then a women who "works" on the streets forced into her situation due to extreme poverty.

[shadowplay]

It depends on the circumstances, if one is forced into prostitution at a young age due to external factors then I feel it is wrong on so many levels. When you look at the girls at bunny ranch in Nevada you don't really get the same sense of wrong as else where. These women are interviewed and hired, they are protected by laws, have health benefits, are taxed, and get paid quite niceley. Vastly different then a women who "works" on the streets forced into her situation due to extreme poverty.

 

Agreed, and I think that's what often complicates these discussions because it's a relatively diverse group. But if no one was forced into prostitution and everything was regulated (including tax, health benefits, etc), is it then just another service?

[BrianH46]

Agreed, and I think that's what often complicates these discussions because it's a relatively diverse group. But if no one was forced into prostitution and everything was regulated (including tax, health benefits, etc), is it then just another service?

 

Definitely not being for forced into an act that is regarded by most cultures as sacred and emotional is wrong if not by laws then at the very least by our morality. There is a difference when women choose to go into that line of work when they are riddled with opportunities for a different life they opt out for something "easier".

[shadowplay]

Well that's true for everything right? Do you technically hire everyone's body when your hire them? It depends on where you draw the line. Hiring as a sex worker is where I draw the line. Its degrading to the workers in away that no other industry is, and most of the woman who go into that line of work have experiences some kind of sexual trauma in their life.

 

Yes, exactly, that's kind of true for everything, so I'm trying to explore why I draw the line exactly where I do.

 

About degradation, do you feel prostitution is different from the porn industry?

[BrianH46]

Oh my bad read that wrong. Yes I would agree its as any other.

[FathomFear]

My friends and I where talking about this recently, this is what we concluded.

 

The main problem with prostitution that I see (aside from A LOT of other stuff) is that if a person is allowed to sell your body opens the door being able to sell YOURSELF to another person, i.e. something akin to indentured servitude. If you can sell your body for a price what is the real difference from allowing people (who for the purpose of this example, enters into out of their own free will) to sell their entire selves to another person.

 

So, imo, no, not lie hiring an electrician.

 

The thing is that you're not selling your body. Take, for example, massage therapists. They are also using their hands and such--they're just touching different parts.

 

Ultimately the taboo around prostitution relates to the taboo people have towards sex in general. We live in a culture where a movie gets an R rating if there is seconds of screen time on a breast or buttock. Movies with violent, murderous killing often end up with PG13 ratings. It's pretty nuts.

[Wayfara]

I guess one could ask if buying a wife/husband is the same as hiring a maid too. Hiring an electrician is pretty impersonal so for those who view sex as an impersonal comodity hiring a prostitute will feel about the same as hiring an electrician. I can't say it's wrong but to me it feels weird to see sex like that, the same with buying a wife/husband.

[shadowplay]

I guess one could ask if buying a wife/husband is the same as hiring a maid too. Hiring an electrician is pretty impersonal so for those who view sex as an impersonal comodity hiring a prostitute will feel about the same as hiring an electrician. I can't say it's wrong but to me it feels weird to see sex like that, the same with buying a wife/husband.

 

When you say buying a wife/husband, are you referring to buying sex, or to something else?

[Wayfara]

When you say buying a wife/husband, are you referring to buying sex, or to something else?

 

Importing a wife/husband, there are men who buy wives from Russia/Thailand and women who buy husbands from Africa.

[shadowplay]

Importing a wife/husband, there are men who buy wives from Russia/Thailand and women who buy husbands from Africa.

 

OK, I see!

[Mercurial Girl]

Its degrading to the workers in away that no other industry is

 

It's as degrading as the person doing it believes it to be. I have felt more powerful in the sex industry, and degraded in a minimum wage employment situation.

[shadowplay]

It's as degrading as the person doing it believes it to be. I have felt more powerful in the sex industry, and degraded in a minimum wage employment situation.

 

Yes, I would assume that a 'luxury prostitute' (although I guess that's not the industry standard) would have, in some ways, better conditions than a lot of various other workers.

[PhilliesFan001]

Like others said, to me it depends on the situation. If a child is involved, or if the sex is involuntary, then I consider it a form of slavery/sexual abuse.

 

If it's legalized, regulated, safe, and involves consenting adults who are being paid a decent wage and actually want to do that line of work, then sure, it's a service. I see nothing wrong/morally bankrupt about prostitution per se, assuming that everyone and everything involved is kosher.

[Mercurial Girl]

Not just "luxury prostitutes" and not only in some ways.

 

Many sex workers, smart ones, have the freedom to turn down any potential client and can do plenty of research on the client before going in. They have every right to refuse service to someone who is being disrespectful. Not an option I had say, working retail. I had to take peoples' sheet whether I deserved to or not. I would not only lose a client if I refused, I would lose a job.

 

As for safety, in my current job I am often alone in a new home on a construction site with another man (or two, three, four men) whom I have never met, know nothing about, and who could very easily overpower and take advantage of me if they wanted to. I don't even know their first names. As a sex worker I would know much more about the other person.

 

I'm not speaking to places where women do not have the protections we would in developed countries, nor people forced into sex work. I'm speaking to women going into sex work on their own free will. It can be a very empowering position.

[BryanPain]

I have some first hand experience on this topic and I can tell you, the unknown and unknowable costs of prostitution are much, much higher then the participants realize. The social stigma is pervasive and does not fade. The mental cost of being "used", and as a result your being somehow less then a person is hard to quantify. But, Purhaps the greatest cost is as the result of a life in which everything you do and everything you are is a lie. It becomes part of you, you become so good at lieing that you can longer tell the difference between the lie and the truth. You wish and pray that maybe, some how, someone, might truly like you as a person, maybe even love you. But you know, it is all a lie and even those that you might try to get close to, you fear everyday that they will eventually walk away, because everything that you have told them was a lie and everything they have told you was a lie.

 

Don't underestimate the real costs of this service, most do, as these costs do not materialize in the short term, but please understand that these costs are very high, and they do real and permanent damage to a person's life.